Hi all,
Thought I would post since I haven't been on here in weeks.It has been a total mess around here. I have been dealing with the pain of my rsd and trying to keep the stress level down but that is impossible. I have a hearing a coming up on April 15th against wc and not even sure what is going to happen cuz my attorney hasn't called me in to talk with him in a while. I was suppose to go see an rsd specialist before the hearing and I haven't even heard anything from my attorney on that.All I know is this wc thing is really driving me crazy. Along with all that I found out 2 weeks ago that my 14 yr. old is pregnant by a 25 yr. old. I can't believe all of this. I am trying to be supportive of my daughter for her health while everyone is saying tell her to give it up for adoption. I told her no matter what decision she makes I am going to love her always. The 25 yr. old is trying to run. We as in my husband and I are dealing with dhs and waiting to see what happens to this 25 yr. old by the sheriffs dept. I am doing all I can to deal with everything but don't know how.People keep telling me that just becuz he is being investigated doesn't mean that there has been charges against him. I don't know anymore I am so confused. I try not to cry in front of my daughter. I know there has been a couple of times these last couple of weeks that I have literally fallen down to my knees and screamed and cried. I know what good does that do me right? Well I can't help it. It is just to much for me. I want so badly for everything including my rsd to be a huge nightmare that I can wake up from. I know it is not tho. I can't get my hubby to work with me alot of the time. All he can do is yell at me for my daughter being pregnant and how wc or my attorney better do something soon because he cant keep working like this and paying out so much for my meds. He said it is killing him. I told him to tell me to leave and I will if he thinks it would make his life easier but he keeps saying no because state would get him in the end. So no matter how u look at it he is screwed. So see I can't with anyone or anything and I just want to give up.I have been fighting for so long now and I have no support group except you guys on here. There isn't one close enough to where I live.So I just have to try to hang in there the best i can cuz my daughter needs me to help her through all of this. If it weren't for her I think I would have given up a long time ago. I just don't know how much more I can take. I am so scared. I feel like I am sitting in a corner waiting for the next person to strike at me.Can anyone help me with some advice here? If not I 100% understand. I am trying not to give up but it is not easy.

Sincerely,
Tracy

Tracy,
It sure has been a long time! I feel bad for your circumstances, but you know, someone always has it worse. Always.
I have a friend I'm trying to support who has RSD, RA, and CANCER!! Broken arm and collar bone from an accident. Trying to get to Philly for specialized cancer treatment, but, had a spot on the brain, and recieved some radiation along with laser surgery. Now, all kind of dizziness, and can't get on a plane to get to Philly.
But this is where the doctors want her to be.
Cancer is such a HUGE business, that it's like trying to trust a lawyer. ( to trust an oncologist ).

I'm in a legal battle for more than a decade, lost everything, (which was not a little bit), and my children hate me for it, don't understand the illness and tbi.

So, you can see, Tracy, you've got to be strong. I doubt the 25 y.o. would have to do any more than pay child support, once it's Proven by blood work that it's his child.
BTW, studies have found that the best form of birth control pill, is an aspirin. (Held firmly between the knees). i hope you can appreciate a joke...

You will get through this, Tracy. Nobody is dying. In fact, you may have new life to celebrate!

It's All in your attitude!

I hope it works out well for you!

Pete

Tracy...

I am so sorry for all of your pain and sadness....it's time to step back and relish as possibly this new little baby will give you a different path... AND yes it does you a world of good to drop to your knees and shout and cry...That is a must and healthy..you my friend, should do that a few more times!!! Try not to let all of this pull you down..Love your family for all that they are to you...they are human, as we are too..in trying to live with our RSD..You know baby steps as everything will push you right over if you try to handle it all at one time..life really is eventful and at times, unfair..but remember my favorite saying...it is: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass..life is about learning to dance in the rain", my friend..look at life with a positive spin and say..this is what god mean't for me.. then I am good.. lets pray for a healthy baby and for us to have a painless day..the rest can slide!!! okay????

Many hugz as you will be okay..just take some deep breaths..

Kathy

I am sorry it feels like the world is falling down around you. But my friend keeps telling me.. " one day at a time is the only way we can make it through this.." and she has cancer.. terminal.. It always seems to feel that way to us.. i think that is the norm these days.. BUt a new grandbaby make help give you something to look forward to..They are probably right in a earlier post bout the child support. but i think jail time.. shes just a child herself.. sometimes we just need to try to look past all the negatives and try to look at happy times. which are never shining bright, they are always dull and shaded gray.. but they are they off in the horizon if we look hard enough..things will get better for you.. I hope.. we are all here for you..

Hi. I am so sorry with all you are facing. You really need support right now with all that is going on. Is there another family member or friend that can be there for you right now? For you attorney I would call him everyday till you get some answers. That is unacceptable to not even get a call. As for your daughter I wish I had more to offer. There is this realty show on MTV called 16 and pregnant and some of the children have the baby and some give it up for adoption. It shows the struggles for both choices. I would think the 25 year old is heading to jail. Can you as a parent press charged? I mean that is sick of him. Can you all as a family mom,dad,and daughter go to family therapy? Regardless of how your husband feels he needs to be part of this and should be helping you. Sometimes having aother party to ask ?'s and support can put things into perspective. I wish I had more advice. I just hope you reach out and get the help/support you deserve. You can't be there for your daughter if you are too sick. If you want an email buddy I am here. Even just a listening ear can help

Wow, you are dealing with ALOT right now. I certainly hope the 25 yr old goes to jail for statutory rape. No 25 yr old has any darn business with a 14 yr old. I don't care what your daughter says about him. 14 is just a child even if girls don't look like they are. This sorta happened to my sister-in-laws grandaughter, only it turned out the father was her daughters boy friend. She was too afraid to tell her Mom what was going on. Let me tell you that (*)*^^## man went to prison. They kept the baby but they had alot of counseling to go through. It could have totally devastated & ruined this family completely but it hasn't. If anything it pulled them closer.

I have watched the program on MTV about "16 & Pregnant" also. I think all teenagers should have to watch it. It might stop them from participating in risky behaviours a little more.

Sorry about the lawyer situation also. I am so glad that I didn't have to deal with WC. I was working but I didn't have any sort of injury there when RSD hit me. I didn't have any injury at home either. I was told I could go the WC direction because I was working, but I decided not to. I would still be dealing with them also. I have heard people so complain about their WC lawyers not returning calls etc so much.

I wish I could think of some brilliant adivce to really help you out, but there is just nothing in my brain. Hang in there is all I can say.

Debby

Dear Friends,
I want to thank each and everyone of you for all of your support. I am really trying to hang in there as tough as I can. My husband won't do counseling because he will say he has no time and he doesn't need it. I do think about my daughter each and every day and try to think of all positives but she is only 14 and I am so afraid this is going to screw the rest of her life up. But like I said before I am not going to make the decision for her. It is her call and I will be there for her 100% no matter what. I know the sheriffs dept. is investigating the 25 yr old but I don't know if that is the same as us pressing charges. Can anyone help? I want to see him fry I am sorry about my opinion but that is what he deserves.
As far as my rsd Iam still dealing with a lot of pain.I know everybody here knows what that is like. it stinks.I can't get this pain in my right hip to go away.Every time I turn or have to reach for anything it hurts real bad. I am not sure why it hurts so bad. That is the side that did not start with the rsd but for quite sometime it has been giving me issues ever since I had my major back issue. I don't know what the doc will say but it seems to me that all he wants to do is get rid of me. I wish I had a doc I could rely on. I thought i did but now I think he is getting tired of me so he is trying to push me off on to other docs. Help!
Thanks again to all my friends for being here in my time of need. I hope I can repay the favor some time. You all take care and hope to talk to you all soon.


Sincerely,
Tracy

Hi Tracy, I'm really sorry for what you are going through. I have been there and back. I too was a wc case and had to get an attorney. I was diagnosed with RSD in 1986 after I had to have Many back surgeries due to catching a patient at a nursing home from falling to the floor. My attorney was fantastic, if I ever had a problem with anything my attorney would file for an emergency medical hearing in front of the judge.I think you need to demand action from your attorney. If you have already been accepted as a wc case you should be getting 66% of your pay and all your meds and almost anything your Dr. orders. Get on your attorney's back ASAP. As to your daughter getting pregnant My husband and I went thru the same thing with our daughter, she was 19 and still living with us. Yes we were very upset with her and the father was nothing but a dirtbag no job no money and to top it off ,he was 25 and had gotten 6 other girls pg. My husband wouldn't even look at her let alone talk to her for the first 4 months. I imediatly took her to my Dr. and we began our 9 month journey. After a while when things settled down My husband was back to talking to her and listening to her and her wonderful plans as to what was going to happen after she had the baby, Yeah right, she had us so buffaloded. Nothing happened the way she claimed it was going to be. Anyway, bottom line we now have custody of the baby and the baby is now going to be seven,and you know what she is the light of our lives so from what we thought was going to be awful has become one of the best things ever! Just keep on going, and try, try to believe things will get better. Your friend Wendy

Hi Tracy,

WOW! Looks like your plate is full...First if you lived in the state of Florida, he would be in jail! As a parent you need to make the decision of per-suing this issue, or letting it go. Your daughter is just a child and shame on that man. Shame on your husband for blaming you. I have two daughters one is 21 and one is 16, the 16 year old has RSD. I could not imagine them being pregnant at 14.

You can look at this in two different ways. One go after the #!$$!!$ and send him to jail. Ultimately, your daughter will make the decision of keeping her baby or giving it up for adoption. Listen to her. Don't let her regret any decision that she makes. She is a child, but soon will be forced to become a women. She is going through so much right now. She is in tremendous shock herself. Remember when you were first pregnant, it is a very difficult time. So, remember she is in this too. A very stupid mistake that she made, but here it is, can't turn back. So take a deep breath, put it in a bubble and let it go! You are going to have a new baby. Take care of your daughter, give her a hug, let her know that everything is going to be ok! You are her mommy, you will need to get her through this,

I am a firm believer in crying and screaming. I can not imagine how you feel right now. If you pray then pray. Your grandchild will be born for a reason. Remember, stress brings on more pain, so accept this part of your life and move forward. I hope that you can find peace with this. I will pray for your family.

Much love,
Sandy

Hi Tracy,
You're going through a lot right now, and I wish we could each take a little bit from your burden and carry it for you.

Have you thought of contacting a youth agency to help your daughter sort out her feelings, and thus help her make a decision. It is a good idea for you to hesitate on making the decision for her, as in the future, she may wish she had decided otherwise.
But an objective and outside source of support would help your daughter and help you as well, to see that she is getting some support and guidance on how to reach a decision that she will feel at peace with...

Please try and absorb it all a day at a time, because thinking of the future implications of everything will add to your stress and could be overwhelming.

If the Sheriff's department is involved in trying to find out more info, they may be able to guide you on your daughter's and your future grandchild's rights.

When things settle down a bit, and the element of shock and panic has subsided somewhat, you may see optimisim shining through.
A day at a time.
Hope4thebest xoxoxox