[Angelina55]

Ok so here comes some complaining and some concerns with questions.. lol

My dad just moved in a girlfriend after one date and she has turned our house into a new house basicly. She has redone EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong the house looks great. It is what I have been trying to do with it but never could because of this beast known as CRPS. but the thing is she did it when I was gone on vacation so I came back to a different house, with all my stuff gone (downstairs where I can't get to it). I should also mention that I have bipolar, borderline personality disorder and ptsd so coming home to this sent me into many panic and anxiety attacks. Since then my pain has been through the roof and has horribly spread into both legs. My ankles swelled to over twice their size too and I couldn't walk for a day. So my question is could the shock of loosing the only person who has shown me any kind of support (my dad), my house changing, a new woman being brought into my home...etc make my CRPS spread and become worse????

My Dad and I were very close and he was the only one who showed me even a little support in my illness and now he barely says hi to me and we live together. He has given this woman all the power and has taken it all away from me. I was the head of this house. This was my home to decorate and clean the way I wanted to and now she has come in and changed everything and thrown away all my organization things away. Completely redecorated the house and is continuing to do so. I am glad the house is clean and she is doing some of the things I have always wanted to do, but having someone come in and just do it when I can't is hard to watch. It is hard to have all your power taken from you after just one date. I never had time to get used to it. I just wish she would involve me more. She just told me that I can't do it in my condition and I know that but it is still hard for me to accept that. I am still trying to adjust to this new life of mine and her and my dad have completely flipped it upside down again. I don't know what to do or how to deal with this!

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest! And any advice would be great!!

[AZ-Di]

oh, Angelina you poor dear! Don't get me started on middle aged men and "bimbos". He's your dad and you love him dearly so I totally get that, but still the bimbo will blind him.
Hopefully, you can communicate your feelings to them in a tactfull way and let it be known he is your Dad first and you would appreciate her at least asking for your input. This RSD should should not rob you of your input.

you could try printing out my post from here and giving it to both of them
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread190826.html
This may help you
http://www.openfocustraining.co.uk/exercise.html

[AintSoBad]

My ex used to tell me that she could 'control' me with my pain. Just start an argument, and I'm off to bed. So yes, stress is a Big factor!
Don't let 'em get to you, and learn the F.I. rule!

Pete

asb

[Vrae]

Angelina, I’m so sorry that this is happening. And yes, CRPS is called the stress disease. Stressors or ANY kind and emotional instability will definitely affect you and your disease in a negative way. Naturally you are protective of your father, but ultimately you are the child in this situation, albeit an adult child, but a child to your father nonetheless, so it may not have occurred to him to check with you on this situation. However, I do believe some common courtesy would have gone a LONG way on both their parts. And yes, having a woman move in after just one date, yikes! Um, yeah I think I too would be protective of my elder parent and have to have a moment with them to voice my concerns. I think the least among those concerns would be redecorating, but moreover what the heck is going on moving a STRANGER into your home? Hopefully your father would be compassionate and defend your feelings in this situation. Again, I am terribly sorry this is happening to you. If you can, do your best to try and keep emotions in check, and perhaps rational thinking will prevail.

[Angelina55]

Originally Posted by AZ-Di

oh, Angelina you poor dear! Don't get me started on middle aged men and "bimbos". He's your dad and you love him dearly so I totally get that, but still the bimbo will blind him.
Hopefully, you can communicate your feelings to them in a tactfull way and let it be known he is your Dad first and you would appreciate her at least asking for your input. This RSD should should not rob you of your input.

They did have a "sit down" with me and I tried to explain my feelings as best as I could, while having a panic attack. She did show me and ask my opinion on some paints and styles for the hallway, so maybe they did hear me. I don't know about the 'he is my dad first' thing though. I just don't think they get that. He said he will always be there but who knows. We will see if things change. I hope so because I am getting worse and I really need the support and love right now. I am terrified out of my mind for when winter hits!

[Angelina55]

Originally Posted by Kevscar

you could try printing out my post from here and giving it to both of them
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread190826.html
This may help you
http://www.openfocustraining.co.uk/exercise.html

I think I am going to hang that on the refrigerator. Maybe it will help.

[Angelina55]

Originally Posted by Vrae

Angelina, I’m so sorry that this is happening. And yes, CRPS is called the stress disease. Stressors or ANY kind and emotional instability will definitely affect you and your disease in a negative way. Naturally you are protective of your father, but ultimately you are the child in this situation, albeit an adult child, but a child to your father nonetheless, so it may not have occurred to him to check with you on this situation. However, I do believe some common courtesy would have gone a LONG way on both their parts. And yes, having a woman move in after just one date, yikes! Um, yeah I think I too would be protective of my elder parent and have to have a moment with them to voice my concerns. I think the least among those concerns would be redecorating, but moreover what the heck is going on moving a STRANGER into your home? Hopefully your father would be compassionate and defend your feelings in this situation. Again, I am terribly sorry this is happening to you. If you can, do your best to try and keep emotions in check, and perhaps rational thinking will prevail.

His thinking is she is not a complete stranger. She is the mother of my youngest brother's best friend. She just got a divorce and supposedly she wanted to leave her husband for my dad for a long time. Whatever! They never talked or anything! So to me she is a stranger, right?? But no matter what you don't move a girl in after ONE date!!! I don't know what he is thinking. They are acting like stupid teenagers. They say they are in love but really it is just lust. There is a difference. You can see it. I can't believe he is just letting her run and change his life and he gave her his bank card! I am just sooooo worried about him and all this stress is so hard on me. I am trying to stay calm and not let it bother me, but he is my Dad. How do you not care about a parent?

[Vrae]

Originally Posted by Angelina55

His thinking is she is not a complete stranger. She is the mother of my youngest brother's best friend. She just got a divorce and supposedly she wanted to leave her husband for my dad for a long time. Whatever! They never talked or anything! So to me she is a stranger, right?? But no matter what you don't move a girl in after ONE date!!! I don't know what he is thinking. They are acting like stupid teenagers. They say they are in love but really it is just lust. There is a difference. You can see it. I can't believe he is just letting her run and change his life and he gave her his bank card! I am just sooooo worried about him and all this stress is so hard on me. I am trying to stay calm and not let it bother me, but he is my Dad. How do you not care about a parent?

right?! I totally agree! Scary she now has access to his money too. Good Grief. Hang in there luv. I hope this all works out for you!

[ginnie]

Oh Dear, that does make your situtaion a bit difficult. I know things are all topsy turvy for you. Sometimes change in ones life is the hardest to cope with. Giving over to what your dad has wanted, has indeed changed the character of your home.
I have just a few things that may help. If you can cut out your own private space, your own room, someplace that you feel comfortable this will help. Decorate it to your own satisfaction, and maybe find a new interest to help keep your mind off what is going on. Noone likes change shoved at you. Anxiety can make your pain worse, so do things to please yourself, and noone else. Try to be kind in the midst of this upset. Kindness goes farther, than being upset. You have your own life, and you can make it the best you can. Ever heard the expression, killing with kindness? Most fights or upsets resolve with a determination of making the best out of a bad situation., Your dad still loves you. Try not to resent this other person. I do know this is very difficult, I wouldn't have liked it either. Your CRPS is hard enough, without the upset. Cozy up with a book, or some interest, or take up a new one that you can do. I listen to Bob dylan alot when my pain is up. Seems to calm me down. I do hope that the situtaion you are in, calms down, and that your home, can have peace. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie