[Vrae]

Thank you in advance for bearing with me as I vent about my own stupidity! When will I learn that I just can’t or shouldn’t do some of the things I did prior to this monster!?! I think the following proves I am still not completely accepting what is happening to me and am still living in some state of denial.


A couple of months ago my son had me listen to some new music he had found. My kids know how passionate I am about music. I liked the album so much I shared it with everyone. However, after a few weeks I was starting to grow tired of the album and wasn’t as fond of it as I initially was.


About five weeks ago my cousin told me that her boyfriend had bought tickets for all of us (six people total) to go to a small concert of the artist my son told me about weeks earlier. Being that the cost of this had been absorb by someone I didn’t even know all that well, I felt obligated to say that I would go. The tickets had already been bought… what else could I say (is how I felt)?


As some of you know, It’s been nonstop rain, flooding, etc. here in Colorado. I have been struggling for weeks with the ability to use my legs much. The concert was last night. My husband and I did venture out yesterday to pick up meds and we even drove by the venue just to see what we’d be in for in terms of road closures, conditions, etc.; would it even be possible to get there? Sure enough, with a little negotiation around closures, it was all good.


We came home after surveying the metro area and hemmed and hawed about whether to go to this concert. My husband works full time, has nearly a full time load of college courses this semester, I’m struggling in every way to keep up with kids, home, our business, and my pain levels, not to mention we’re not getting any younger and we’re just plain tired.


Again, we did not pay for this show, and on many levels felt a bit obligated. So we went. It’s crowded, and we know this before we ever stepped into the joint because parking was insane! It was going to be several (minimum) blocks of walking to get inside. I say to my husband, there’s no way I can walk this! He knows this is true. The venue doesn’t have parking. You had to street park. I did not know that before we went. When we had driven by earlier in the day, I was more focused on, could we even safely get there? Not one handicapped spot anywhere! Then I suddenly spot an open spot in a parking lot of a few businesses that were closed for the day. It’s THE ONLY spot left in that lot, and just a short walk to the venue entrance. I/we are old enough to know better, but the damn lot was FULL except for this one spot and I just knew I couldn’t walk the distance otherwise.


We park and get inside. It’s HOT and HUMID (it’s almost never humid here) and crowded! My cousin had snagged and saved us one of the few seats in the place. Otherwise it would have been standing room only. So I was thankful for that. I said to my cousin, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve been to a hot, sweaty concert. The show was okay… nothing to write home about.


The show ends and my cousin wants us to go with them to eat. I bow out gracefully and we start to make our way back to our car to get home and to bed. To my horror we approach an empty spot. The same empty spot I had found to park my car in!! Yep, my car was towed. I am looking at others on their cell phones calling the same tow company my husband is now calling to retrieve their cars. Man am I mad! Mad that this happened. Mad that I have this damn disease and can’t walk much anymore!! Mad that there wasn’t a consideration for people who are handicapped attending events at this venue. Mad at what this was sure to cost. Mad as hell! I hadn’t even really wanted to go out at all last night! Grrr!


We called my daughter to come get us and take us even further away from home to bail our car out. It was 1:30 a.m. before we got home. The grand total of this wonderful evening was over $350 bucks! The lesson I learned about when to say NO … Priceless! (I guess).


Now, with this said, all I have to do is turn on the news and watch how 700 people are missing, the 4 or 5 people who have died, the thousands evacuated, thousands more to evacuate today, over 17 thousand folks with property loss or damage, all the compromised drinking water and mandatory boiling of water in some areas, wildlife (including bears) coming down out of the mountains (they’re displaced too), all while it continues to rain and rain and rain. I know what happened to me is minor in the grand scheme of things.


I had planned to go out for some grownup time with my best friend next weekend for a really nice dinner and to hear some live blues. I promptly cancelled that this morning.