Sarah, sorry I have been having a much tinier attitude-based family crisis myself, and your posts have put mine into perspective a bit. I can't believe how cruelly you've been treated, and that truly is an evil thing for them to even think, let alone say out loud to you.... I can't imagine how upsetting it all is, but I know it took great strength to write about it and reach out.

As others have said, you need to get away from such monsters and let them live their own dreadfully empty and mean lives without you. I am so glad you have a friend to go to, and are doing just that. You are one brave and resourceful woman, and it breaks my heart that a decent person like you can be treated like this. You must never ever ever believe that sort of crap - it is low, vile and contemptuous.

This disease sucks our very souls out sometimes and makes the bottom of that deep dark well seem very close... Remember it is always your life and your choice what you do with it. No one can ever take that right away from you, and you must always believe that you are worth so much more even with all the problems this disease has given you, than they are worth with all their physical health. Worth is not measured by what you can do - but by what you choose to do. Not by physical strength, but by mental strength and heart. Not by actions, but by thoughts and dreams, hopes and kindness. Those are things that decent people value and remember.

I wish you all good things. You deserve better, and I believe you will find it away from these people. They might be tied to you by your family tree, but as the saying goes, 'you can choose your friends, you can't choose your family'... Cut the branch of that tree and grow stronger elsewhere.

Good luck and I hope we hear of better times ahead for you very soon. I'll be thinking of you.

Bram

Were family member/s really serious when this was said??

Was it said as a tasteless/sarcastic joke, said in anger at the moment, out of frustration?
I just can't fathom anyone saying something like that and really meaning it..

Dear Swat,
That was so unimaginably horrible! I was just hoping it was a an over the top "heat of the moment" thing. Just so cruel! You poor dear, you're shaken to the core, but still strong and smart enough to know what you need to do.
I'm glad you have a "sister" to go to and you have us with you always in thought and spirit.

I was so glad to see your new post..Keep the faith and keep strong..You are Gods child remember ,trust in HIM...

Hi Swat,

That was obviously a horrible thing for anyone to say. I hope you are at your friend's house now and are feeling a bit better.

Hang in there.

Kim

Swat im so sorry anybody would say such a horrific thing to you! That's just horrible! That said I completely understand where you are coming from, After I couldn't work anymore I dived in and started helping caring for family with extensive health issues. However after 4yrs of doing it, Ive been doing a lot of reflecting and I realized I lost who I was after I was injured and then when I plunged into caring for family, my life consumed around that, and so I still never had found who I truly am after everything. So im making MAJOR changes for ME. My life does not revolve around my family, I do have one outside of it, I just need to find it. So by doing what ever im doing on this quest, im going with my good friend on a trip for a day, just a day, but its a day just for ME! So take however much time and find who you are outside of your family, because there is a YOU, and YOU matter, and YOU deserve happiness!

Wise words tos8

Ending your life is not the answer. You have so much in this life that you still can do! I know it doesn't feel like that now, but there is more. Call the local suicide prevention hot line. If you are connected to a place of worship, contact a clergy member. Find someone who will listen and help you. Please don't give up. You are worth fighting for.

I'm glad you're with your sister. I know it's hard. You can fight back. Nothing is wrong with you and everything is wrong with the family members that told you to u-know-what. I won't even type it. I know about family members.......my dad, in 8 yrs, has never once asked how I'm feeling. I had 3 back surgeries for RSD and never called to see how I was. My mother doesn't know the name of my condition. I asked her a coupe months ago. I live with her you think she would know by now (8 yrs running) lol. 2 of my closest friends are no longer friends and I knew them each for 30 years (since I was 7 yrs old). They treated me horribly because of my pains. I know family members aren't something that you can no longer speak to but their advice is ridiculous and extremely wrong! Hon there is always hope. It's not a well that dries up.

Post here when you lose hope. Even if it's every day. One good thing is that we ALL understand what you're going thru.

Take care of yourself,
Heather

I am really a big chicken!!!!!I don't do well with pain, I am so independent. I love cooking for people.I too am very depressed. I can not take antidepressants due to a adverse reaction. I take care of others.I really feel like all of us have hope, there is research going on every day. People do get better...out of the blue, some in remission. Love the good times you have.
Show them you have not given up, honestly we are still here for a reason. He could have just taken us!!!!! We do have a purpose.Is this a lesson for us or some of our family members to appreciate want me have. I know I am a good person and my opinion matters more to me than anyone else's . I Don't want to hear you are giving up. If a big chicken like me can do it ..you can. I have seen that some people do 20+ years. We can and do get better. Please don't let someone like that get you down.... Show them you can and will get better. As someone said we can't pick our family but we can our friends.