I hate days like this and they are just getting too frequently my pain is bad, I can't focus, I can't think straight, I hurt too much to sleep, I'm too cranky to hang out with anymore. I just feel like an ugly burden anymore. last week I lost someone very close to me and my pains been horrendous since. My pts says it is the stress...I don't know. I just wish I wouldnt wake up anymore. I know that's a horrible attitude. I keep trying to look for the good but I can't even enjoy the good anymore.

Hi HannaJane I can totally understand where your coming from I think we all have periods like you describe. I find stress is a major cause of pain in crps but I hope you get through this quickly and find some hope again.

When I was at my lowest I turned to drink which was very destructive for me and thought I would never smile or laugh again but you will find an inner strength to get out of this feeling .

I know it's hard to imagine at the minute for you but you WILL come through this and be stronger for it.



Geordie

Your look at things is understandable but try to think this way...
"It might be good to stick around to see what happens."
(A rough translation of an old native saying...)

HannaJane,

I'm so sorry you're at such a low point. You're not a burden. And you're not alone. Most people reading this have either been where you are or are where you are, and you're helping them feel less alone just by reaching out and posting.

What helped me at my low point(s), was understanding that it wasn't MY pain I was dealing with. It was my body's pain. And my body is not me.

It doesn't make the pain any less real, but that singular realization unlocks many possibilities.

I'm sorry you are going through this rough patch. We've all been there...many of us several times. You need to know that it's OKAY to feel the way you do...but you can't stay there. My boyfriend would tell me I could have ONE DAY to be mopey and depressed when something went badly during my roughest time with the RSD...and then I had to move on. It helped me a lot to do exactly that...when those bad feelings and times come you are allowed to be upset by it...but you can't let it consume you.

I had a doctor tell me something once very similar to what visioniosiv said and that was, "You are not your RSD." It doesn't define who we are...it's just something we go through and something we have to deal with...but we are not our pain.

There are things we can control and things we can't...what I focus on are the things I CAN control (and my RSD really is not one of those things though there are things I can do for damage control...most of it is out of my control). Sometimes it's the little battles that I win that make all the difference in the world for me. Things like: today I got out of bed, today I got dressed in something other than pajamas, or today I did the dishes. To someone who doesn't go through what we do those may seem like insignificant things...but I tell you those little wins really boosted my spirits and made so many more things seem possible.

Take care of yourself and know that we are here for you whether you need advice or even if you just need to vent and get things off your chest. You're not alone. Hugs.

Dear HannaJane,

Thanks for sharing how you feel. You were given some really good advice. While I am not where you are, I have been and I fight everyday to keep the depression away. Some days are diamonds and well you know some days are rock bottom stones. I am grateful for the advice that was given. Wisdom is in the answers above. Wisdom that I needed to hear. So thanks also to the ones who are kind enough to share their tidbits of inspiring wisdom. I will tell you that I have started new projects to help with the depression and downward spiral. I am learning to sew and crochet and I even put my house work on a schedule. I have those days where nothing gets done. I cant sit to long at the sewing machine and sometimes my fingers don't want to hold the crochet needle. It may take me a week or two to get a simple dress made or even a simple little purse might take three weeks. Find something that you like that you can do even if you have to do it in spurts. It is very hard to rewire the brain to say it is ok if it takes you 8 days instead of 2 to make a or do what ever It is you like to do. 20 some odd years I had to be productive and account for how I used my time, so naturally it is hard to rewire the brain. I hope that you find the light at the end of the tunnel quickly. Take to heart what the previous posters posted some wonderful nuggets of golden advice was given. Soft gentle hugs for you.
I have rambled on long enough.

I am so sorry! I am hurting so bad right now. This has been going on & off for 18yrs. I have been trying to fing a RSD support group in Orange Co. I use to have a job and lots of friends. Now I am in bed 90% of my day. When I say I know what you are going through I really do!!!!

I am so sorry to hear of the extra stress, the pain flare, and that sadness/depression you are carrying. As others have replied, we all have had periods like this, not that it makes you feel any better. Please talk with your doctor about what your are feeling. It is important that they know that you are struggling.

I have had those days. Right now it is flaring pretty bad. I lost my mom who was my main support in July 2013 and did not want to continue. I woke up the next day and I keep going. Keep talking with people that are dealing with this same disease. Take care! LISAR624

Thank you everyone...having people to talk to that "get it" helps a great deal