you're not a failure catra. it's not you're fault you have rsd. it just happens to some of us. you are trying to do the best you can and that's all anyone can do. the fact that you get up everyday and keep trying is proof that you are a success in life. try not to be so hard on yourself. sounds to me like you're doing a great job. soft hugs.

Dear sweet Catra,

It is so frustrating when you get knocked back and all too easy to give yourself a hard time about it. We have all been there.

I am always struck by how strong and resilient you are. Working, parenting, all why trying to care for yourself...it's no wonder you flare sometimes! Who can balance that? Many people would struggle sometimes doing half what you do.

I am so sorry you had a tough week and hope the next one is easier on you. Give yourself a gentle hug from me and kiss the baby's sweet head. You are a wonder!

Sending healing love,

I don't have much in the way of positive wisdom...

I just want you to know, you are not alone. I feel like that everyday and no one seems to care except the few people here. Some days I can't even get out of bed and cry all day because it hurts too much to stand long enough to shower...

2 years ago, I was independent; a nurse. Today, I am pathetic. I get it.

You do a lot! You work and care for your family! It's understandable that you have some down days

Catra,

This RSD passage IMO is much harder for you than it is for me, because you are the mother of a young baby. But you are by no means a failure. A failure is someone who is able, but chooses not to be. You did not choose to have RSD. You did not choose to have a flare. I hope you get through this recent set back and you have brighter days ahead.

Velkyn,

I gave up trying to take a tub (I needed help to get in and out) or stand (the pain was unbearable) in the shower. I have a shower chair wedged in the tub so I can sit while I shower. The chair also allows me to get in and out of the tub without help from my husband. We have been married for over 40 years, but it was still mortifying to need his help.

Thanks guys. Sometimes I just need a safe, judgement free zone to let my thoughts out. I try so hard not to burden people with my own troubles and difficulties. Even at work...that other employee felt SO bad that she hit me like that and I know she didn't mean to hurt me...and it made ME feel bad to have made HER feel bad. Ugh! It can all just be such an emotional trap. The hardest part for me is taking that time to just REST and recover. With the baby at daycare today I am spending the day on the couch with my feet up...and I'm bored out of my mind and find that when I'm not doing things the pain seems even more intense because I have nothing to distract me. Please forgive my whining...

I gave up on showers years ago...I cannot take the water pelting me like that. I take warm baths every day...twice a day if I can find the time because its one of the few things that helps my body wide pain.

And now I'm having chest pains...feels like pleurisy which I've had before...inflammation of the lining of the lungs. This happens sometimes with bad flare ups and I'm left here wondering if I should bother going to the er or continue to rest.

Catra,

Do not risk pleurisy becoming something more. Please get it seen to.

Dave.

Catra, Is there anything you enjoy doing during "down time" that will distract you and allow your body to recover? Maybe reading a book in a warm tub? Calling your gfs with a hands free headset?

If you need to go to the doc or the ER, then GO! You know your own body.

One last thing, I had problems for years taking a shower. I actually used to sit on the floor to get as far away as possible from the spray. When I moved I installed an inexpensive Delta In2ition showerhead and it is so much gentler than anything else I've tried. It's essentially a big ring with a handheld sprayer inside that can be turned off if you wish.