[tchr012]

Well, I have been trying really hard to stay optimistic and keep hope that I would get my pain appt and then I called and they did not have my REFERRAL or even know my doctor was getting me an appointment! After that I had to head to my hematologist office for bloodwork and the usual and I was in alot of pain but trying to hold it in. I was in my wheelchair because of all the pain and not being able to walk today because my stim was not charging and causing problems to both legs. Anyway, the nurse came to take me back and I started crying. I never ever cry in public and here I am really crying and I cried all the way back there and finally stopped after the blood pressure was taken and the nurse had given me some water. I thought I had it together but then a new doctor came in and he was so nice and actually seemed to care about me and asked me if I was all right, I cried again and he was not mad or made fun of me he actually listened to me! I explained the whole horrible experience with my stim doctor and how she wont help me and how the records and referral won't get sent over and he patiently listened and I also told him about the cat scan. He had a copy and said that there are no pinched nerves or anything and that the STIMULATOR was the problem! Finally, someone who listened and actually said what I had been thinking all along, I was so happy to finally feel like I wasn't with someone putting me down and fighting me! Then he said he is personally getting me into their pain specialist office and that I will not have to deal with my stim doctor's office and that this whole thing is ridiculous and that he was going to make sure I finally was given some help that I needed and deserved! I feel like my prayers were answered in this appointment and even though I was embarassed about causing a scene (crying in front of everyone at the doctor office) I think people there took me seriously and understood how bad things are and that I am suffering a lot and need help! My husband was great during all this too and was not mad that I cried in front of the doctor. I just wanted to share this because I think I learned a lesson that sometimes you need to let your true feelings out instead of trying to hold everything in just to not make other people feel uncomfortable! I also learned that it was okay to cry when I was in pain and that the more I hold it in the worse it is and it just actually felt a bit better to let all of those feelings out and just cry. So anyway, I shared this because I know other people that go through pain and I am hoping by sharing this they can see that it is okay to let our feelings show and we don't have to keep everything in all the time! Now I am truly having optimism because I know that this new doctor cares and will really get me into someone that is going to help me and I will be able to have a life again! I will let you all know when I get my appointment set up. Thank you so much for listening to me and giving me support and encouragement! Tara

[Rrae]

THANK YOU for sharing this!!
You know what this almost looks to me like??? Regarding your SCS Dr and that she won't get the referral notes sent..... It's almost as tho she 'knows' she screwed up the SCS and doesn't want to have to fess up to another Dr about it!!
I honestly think this SCS Dr needs to be confronted!!
Please correct me if I'm wrong!
But @#$%^& she'd just rather let you suffer as opposed to getting her paperwork into the hands of a doctor that can HELP you!!
omg i'm pist.

On the good note, I'm SO GLAD your new Dr heard you out and is determined to get you the help you need!
This may sound a bit 'heavy', but I almost feel like that SCS Dr should be reported to the AMA or something.......
For the sake of future screw ups and what she's put you through!
She has not complied with several issues and this has cost you an incredible amount of mental anguish.
I really feel like she needs confronted.....
I hate what you've been thru.

[smae]

Hugs hugs hugs! You've been through a lot and I'm so glad that you are finally getting the help you need and deserve! Huge hugs sent your way and lots of prayers as well!

[Mark56]

Yea Tara- Finally you have a professional on your side who understands your plight and is pushing you to the next level to get your stim issue addressed.

Crying in public? Sure it can feel embarrassing, but we are ALL oh so HUMAN. I remember when just before falling of the edge of the earth into the chasm of surgical medical care I have been through I was in a lawfirm conference room one day on the West Coast preparing a client for an important deposition. Such work is hard, pressing, demanding, and the travel was excrutiating given my injuries. I broke down bawling like a calf in front of my client. My Client. He knew what I had been through. Everyone did, but it didn't necessarily make me feel better, and at that moment the mortification..... but, one is only human. Then again at both a discogram and an epiduragram, the modern industrial equivalent to torture a' la the Inquisition------ afterward I did not bawl.... I was sobbing. SOBBING. And could not stop.

You are in the blessed arms of your husband, surrounded by those who care for you, and physicians who now understand your plight. ALL know pain produces emotions no human can fully control. Let yourself be human. Just understand some shed tears are OK..... they are truly OK. I understand your situation today. I do. AND I am so glad you are going to get H E L P!

ASAP,
Mark56 PJ

[smae]

Originally Posted by Mark56

ALL know pain produces emotions no human can fully control. Let yourself be human.

Quite possibly the simplest four words I've read on this site, yet the most profound. Let yourself be human.

That touched me in ways I cannot explain right now.. maybe not ever.

Thank you, Mark.

[fionab]

I am so so glad for you that you've FINALLY got a dr. who is both listening to you and taking steps to help you. I'm so sorry you've had to suffer at the hands of other "professionals" who have obviously dropped the ball in your situation. You can now put them on your "fired" list.

However, before you do or say anything to them (that they rightly deserve), it may be a good time to ask them for a copy of your chart as you do have a right to have a copy of it. That way you may get some valuable information that you can use towards building your own chart on yourself. Ask for bloodwork results from past 6 months, any test results from past year (MRI's, CT scans etc.), any doctor's notes (if you can read them), and any notes from other doctors that may be in your chart.

If you haven't already started collecting your records, this would be a good place to start. And with this new dr. and whomever he refers you to, get in the practice of asking for copies of your records from them, too. There's been many a time I've been glad I was able to look back on something. If you are unable to go in personally to your old dr., have them fax you a release of information form, fill it out saying you want a copy of the aforementioned items, sign it and have your husband go in to the office and wait while they make the copies for you. Given the bad way they've treated you in the past, I wouldn't trust them to copy/mail them to you.

Another thought...maybe your new dr. will be asking for those records from your old dr.?? If so, maybe he/she will give you a copy.

Sorry to but with you being so young it would be good for you to begin having a copy of your own records. Throwing a stack of paperwork down in front of a dr. can go a long way in getting them passed their preconceived ideas of whether you're "really" sick/in pain or not. This, unfortunately, is the reality of dealing with chronic pain.

Hang in there!!

Originally Posted by tchr012

Well, I have been trying really hard to stay optimistic and keep hope that I would get my pain appt and then I called and they did not have my REFERRAL or even know my doctor was getting me an appointment! After that I had to head to my hematologist office for bloodwork and the usual and I was in alot of pain but trying to hold it in. I was in my wheelchair because of all the pain and not being able to walk today because my stim was not charging and causing problems to both legs. Anyway, the nurse came to take me back and I started crying. I never ever cry in public and here I am really crying and I cried all the way back there and finally stopped after the blood pressure was taken and the nurse had given me some water. I thought I had it together but then a new doctor came in and he was so nice and actually seemed to care about me and asked me if I was all right, I cried again and he was not mad or made fun of me he actually listened to me! I explained the whole horrible experience with my stim doctor and how she wont help me and how the records and referral won't get sent over and he patiently listened and I also told him about the cat scan. He had a copy and said that there are no pinched nerves or anything and that the STIMULATOR was the problem! Finally, someone who listened and actually said what I had been thinking all along, I was so happy to finally feel like I wasn't with someone putting me down and fighting me! Then he said he is personally getting me into their pain specialist office and that I will not have to deal with my stim doctor's office and that this whole thing is ridiculous and that he was going to make sure I finally was given some help that I needed and deserved! I feel like my prayers were answered in this appointment and even though I was embarassed about causing a scene (crying in front of everyone at the doctor office) I think people there took me seriously and understood how bad things are and that I am suffering a lot and need help! My husband was great during all this too and was not mad that I cried in front of the doctor. I just wanted to share this because I think I learned a lesson that sometimes you need to let your true feelings out instead of trying to hold everything in just to not make other people feel uncomfortable! I also learned that it was okay to cry when I was in pain and that the more I hold it in the worse it is and it just actually felt a bit better to let all of those feelings out and just cry. So anyway, I shared this because I know other people that go through pain and I am hoping by sharing this they can see that it is okay to let our feelings show and we don't have to keep everything in all the time! Now I am truly having optimism because I know that this new doctor cares and will really get me into someone that is going to help me and I will be able to have a life again! I will let you all know when I get my appointment set up. Thank you so much for listening to me and giving me support and encouragement! Tara

Tara

Its great to hear that FINALLY you are getting the Dr and the medical attention that you truely deserve. Its just unimaginable to think that your previous DR cant or wont send on all your paperwork. Its outrageous!.
Its true what Rae said, maybe she DOES know that she has messed up. Maybe she should be CONFRONTED and tell her exactly how you feel about HER and the situation. I hate people who say one thing and do the other

As regards crying in public! WELL you have EVERY right to. So what if people look and stare or even feel embarrassed. TOUGH . This is your life. This is your pain. This is your right to have proper medical attention in a proper manner. This new Dr sounds lovely and Im sure he will put you on the right road from now on.
But if you want to or need to cry at any time in public JUST DO IT!!!!! dont give a hoot what others think..........

So very pleased for you

Originally Posted by fionab

I am so so glad for you that you've FINALLY got a dr. who is both listening to you and taking steps to help you. I'm so sorry you've had to suffer at the hands of other "professionals" who have obviously dropped the ball in your situation. You can now put them on your "fired" list.

However, before you do or say anything to them (that they rightly deserve), it may be a good time to ask them for a copy of your chart as you do have a right to have a copy of it. That way you may get some valuable information that you can use towards building your own chart on yourself. Ask for bloodwork results from past 6 months, any test results from past year (MRI's, CT scans etc.), any doctor's notes (if you can read them), and any notes from other doctors that may be in your chart.

If you haven't already started collecting your records, this would be a good place to start. And with this new dr. and whomever he refers you to, get in the practice of asking for copies of your records from them, too. There's been many a time I've been glad I was able to look back on something. If you are unable to go in personally to your old dr., have them fax you a release of information form, fill it out saying you want a copy of the aforementioned items, sign it and have your husband go in to the office and wait while they make the copies for you. Given the bad way they've treated you in the past, I wouldn't trust them to copy/mail them to you.

Another thought...maybe your new dr. will be asking for those records from your old dr.?? If so, maybe he/she will give you a copy.

Sorry to but with you being so young it would be good for you to begin having a copy of your own records. Throwing a stack of paperwork down in front of a dr. can go a long way in getting them passed their preconceived ideas of whether you're "really" sick/in pain or not. This, unfortunately, is the reality of dealing with chronic pain.

Hang in there!!

WHat a fantastic idea Fiona. I never would have thought of getting copies of various tests I have had done over the past few years. I do remember at one time gettins MRI scans and taking them home, only to bring them back again, and never see them again
But excellent advice!

[tchr012]

Hi friends, well the last few days were very stressful and emotional for me and I had to get some stuff done for school (more like catch up on a lot of homework). Thank you for understanding about my crying episode at the doctor. The reason why I said that I was scared to cry in public was because I was taught to never show bad emotions in public or I would be in a lot of trouble so I guess that kind of sticks with me. Also, I was embarassed because I know that there are people that are going through way worse than me so I feel kind of guilty crying over me just being in pain especially since I am so used to it unfortunately. I know that it is important to get my notes from other doctors but they cost money and sometimes I cannot afford them especially since my medical history is extremely large and very complicated. Also, I have having some weird problems with getting a pain doctor (yet again). I am still trying to get my pain dr appt but every time I call them I cannot get through or they make me leave a message. Well, the referral people left me messages saying that I can only be called 3 times and then they will not see me in the pain clinic! Isn't that crazy and then when she does leave a message it is super fast so you can barely understand what she is saying! This pain doctor I am trying to see was actually the original one my stim doctor was wanting me to see but never sent the referral until I guess yesterday (which was after the whole episode with me in the blood doctor office that i wrote about). So, if I don't get in with that one because we keep playing phone tag as they said then at least I have a back up pain doctor to try to get into so I have some options which is better than not having any at all.

*This is off topic but I am also upset because I have been getting my records from old doctors and I finally got the records regarding what happened during my hysterectomy 4 years ago. I found out that there was nothing wrong with the organs they took out and there was no endometriosis even though they told me there was! They also told me that I had have one and it was my last resort to fixing my pelvic pain I had for 10 years so anyway, I know I should just let it go but I just do not understand why they did this to me when things were normal and my dad (whom I am no longer in contact with) and my ex husband had also lied and told me that the doctors had found a lot of endometriosis. Its just kinda sad because I am still in pain after going through it besides the fact of not being able to have kids. I mean I was at a place that I was okay with not having kids and just adopting in order for me to get better but now it feels like I did all of it for nothing. I am sorry I know that is totally off topic but its something that is really bothering me and made me upset.*

I also agree that maybe my stim doctor won't send records because this does reflect on her work and she does not want to look like she is to blame. I had to get a letter from her before so that I could give it to school to get ADA accommodations and I practically had to fight her office just to get a letter that cost me thirty dollars! I am really going to keep trying to be optimistic however, that this new pain doctor (whichever one I get to) will be able to help me. As always, thanks for listening! Will give you an update as soon as I can Tara

Originally Posted by tchr012

Hi friends, well the last few days were very stressful and emotional for me and I had to get some stuff done for school (more like catch up on a lot of homework). Thank you for understanding about my crying episode at the doctor. The reason why I said that I was scared to cry in public was because I was taught to never show bad emotions in public or I would be in a lot of trouble so I guess that kind of sticks with me. Also, I was embarassed because I know that there are people that are going through way worse than me so I feel kind of guilty crying over me just being in pain especially since I am so used to it unfortunately. I know that it is important to get my notes from other doctors but they cost money and sometimes I cannot afford them especially since my medical history is extremely large and very complicated. Also, I have having some weird problems with getting a pain doctor (yet again). I am still trying to get my pain dr appt but every time I call them I cannot get through or they make me leave a message. Well, the referral people left me messages saying that I can only be called 3 times and then they will not see me in the pain clinic! Isn't that crazy and then when she does leave a message it is super fast so you can barely understand what she is saying! This pain doctor I am trying to see was actually the original one my stim doctor was wanting me to see but never sent the referral until I guess yesterday (which was after the whole episode with me in the blood doctor office that i wrote about). So, if I don't get in with that one because we keep playing phone tag as they said then at least I have a back up pain doctor to try to get into so I have some options which is better than not having any at all.

*This is off topic but I am also upset because I have been getting my records from old doctors and I finally got the records regarding what happened during my hysterectomy 4 years ago. I found out that there was nothing wrong with the organs they took out and there was no endometriosis even though they told me there was! They also told me that I had have one and it was my last resort to fixing my pelvic pain I had for 10 years so anyway, I know I should just let it go but I just do not understand why they did this to me when things were normal and my dad (whom I am no longer in contact with) and my ex husband had also lied and told me that the doctors had found a lot of endometriosis. Its just kinda sad because I am still in pain after going through it besides the fact of not being able to have kids. I mean I was at a place that I was okay with not having kids and just adopting in order for me to get better but now it feels like I did all of it for nothing. I am sorry I know that is totally off topic but its something that is really bothering me and made me upset.*

I also agree that maybe my stim doctor won't send records because this does reflect on her work and she does not want to look like she is to blame. I had to get a letter from her before so that I could give it to school to get ADA accommodations and I practically had to fight her office just to get a letter that cost me thirty dollars! I am really going to keep trying to be optimistic however, that this new pain doctor (whichever one I get to) will be able to help me. As always, thanks for listening! Will give you an update as soon as I can Tara

Tara

Im so sorry that you are upset tonight. I mean as if you dont have enough on your plate and now this You know I dont think anyone would mind the fact that you 'went off topic' at all. Afterall, if you can share all the other pains in your life why not open up here to the people you know are kind and going thought the same pain and want to help and listen.

I dont have the words to describe how sad I feel for you. You sound like a lovely young woman and to read that you are getting messed around by you PAIN DOCTOR is dreadful. But Im sure that it will all be sorted out soon. In fact Im sure you are FAR better off getting rid of this old pain doctor because basically SHE IS A PAIN HERSELF .......I hope that you will feel happier soon and get that appointment which you truely deserve!!

Take care

Jackie