Today I was singularly blessed in one of the most important means I have experienced to date.

Our baby granddaughter, our first grandchild, was brought into this world. She is beautiful and accomplished much, far more than many, in her ever brief span of life. She came and she went as a match struck and, once flared, little more than a wisp of smoke. Yet, this little one grasped with strength greater than that possessed by any human and brought two young people who were struggling in marriage tested by Army field deployment in the Middle East and taught them the meaning of love, unconditional abiding no strings attached LOVE. Her grandparents all four were gathered in the birthing room knowing as did her parents who had summoned us that her life was not tenuous, not critical, but passing. We gave each to her out of love the special blessings we had to share. We smiled. We cried. We hugged. We held our precious little bundle already summoned to the Almighty and bid her adieu.

I sang a lullaby I had composed almost two decades ago for our daughter, the youngest of our children, who was the surviving twin of Cleo's third pregnancy as her twin had miscarried. I referred to our Em as a miracle child and our blessing. The lyrics follow:

Sleep, my babe, my little child,
hush-a-by and sleep.
Sleep my babe, my little child,
slumber restfully.
Daddy is watching, and Mama's nearby,
We hug you dear and love you so,
sleep now miracle child.
Sleep my babe, my little child,
slumber restfully.

Afterward, I was allowed as an Elder of my church to anoint our little one with Holy Oil in the sign of the cross, which I did as I prayed over her, telling her I had so wished to have had more time with her and letting her know I looked forward to the day we would meet again.

A little family which was struggling is now bound by the shared love of parents and grandparents alike for she who has gone before us. She taught us so much, a true PhD. in philosophy, psychology, and life.

Bye Bye for now my blessing,
Grandpa Ridder

Started home from North Carolina. The kids are doing well. They accepted the dome we purchased to keep Lily's urn dust free. I told them I would build them a Cherrywood shelf on which to keep her until after military retirement, they can lay her to rest where they settle down.

We hugged, said our goodbyes, shared thrills at all in laws hitting it off well.

The car hummed along well, and we made good time. I watched The Last Samurai in the back seat propped up on myriad pillows and foam complete with my Bose speakers, a true theatre experience on an itty bitty screen.

Finally made it to Corydon, IN, by 4:50. might get a few winks before hitting the road again.

I feel blessed travelling with my wife and daughter and sharing laughs and observations. This is quality parent child bonding time..... yes indeed.


Mark56

Interesting how adrenaline filled that first mad dash trip to North Carolina across nine states still left us with enough starch in our sails to spend the many hours with our son and daughter-in-law until delivery late afternoon the next day. After, we had picked up our daughter and wonderful team driver, Em, from the hotel to get a bit of supper at a restaurant. It was there that Em and I realised Cleo, my wife, was asleep with her eyes open at table in the restaurant. She jerked to wakefulness, and we truly began to realise how weary we were.

Taking the road home, we did finally arrive home Friday late, around 11:30pm and glad for our home, hearth, and beds. This brings me to this day's point of gratitude; namely, rest. It has taken a couple of days to fully rest from the road weary travels and passing of our granddaughter. I awakened from a nap after church [Cleo said I fell asleep in the pew during worship] and although not yet feeling 100%, I am glad to be back on board here sharing and caring with you all.

I am thankful for family who all pulled together so we could make the necessary trip to North Carolina. Without each pulling extra weight, our trip could not have happened. It was good we had been there.

Today, I was allowed to sing during worship a song honoring two of our congregation who celebrated this date their 60th wedding anniversary. The song "Because" was originally sung at their wedding in 1951, and it felt thrilling to be able to bring smiles to their faces as I helped bring the song back to life for them. Then, they repeated their first wedding kiss in front of our congregation to loud applause.

A fitting day of celebration. Even so, I was quite fatigued afterward, and though Cleo asked would I like to take lunch in a local favored cafe, I said I was too tired, and we came home to nap away the afternoon. Much needed indeed [I see Cleo was tired as well as she is still snoozing].

Thankfully, I have NOT experienced a pain spike as a result of our trip to North Carolina! This bodes well for our manner of travel [automobile with many pillows in the back seat for the resting driver] and for my stim. Indeed I am thankful the stim has done well for me!

Gratefully,
Mark56

Slumber Still
MRidder 20110523

Blessed sleep has taken me
at time and time again
as we restore the energy
expended on roadways' rain.
I realize as strength renews
depletion's weary sign
is warning of too much been used
the time for rest divine.
Replenishment comes when we are still
and take to sleep fulfilled
by each and every wink caught fill
our body energy captured, refilled.
Thus, blessed am I to know this rest
has given strength anew
to take on life with freshened zest
to talk with friends like YOU.

Beautiful poem mark!

My morning started at about 4am when a VERY awake Katie climed up on our bed. She decided it was time to sing every song she knew. I will try to attach a clip later ! Anyway it nice to giggle as she does not know all the words and makes up her own. They must have been learning the one about Noah's ark in creshe yesterday the line being "The animals went in two by two Horrah Horrah" well Katie being 3 her words were "The animals went in two by two A BRA A BRA" lol

Have to say to laugh and forget ones pain for a moment was a true blessing. Life without this child would definately be tough so thank you God for giving me my two wonderful little ladies!!

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear..

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

My cousin sent me this tonight and i thought it was lovely! its about an old man who is saying goodbye to his daughter at the airport as she emigrates but i have to say it reminded me of Marks posts when he tries to get me to see the positive because without hope we have nothing!

How Grateful Am I
MRidder 20110527

How grateful am I for the blessing of she
whom God brought to my life for my spouse would she be
we gave pledges in earnest as vows with meaning exchanged
and we looked forward with young eyes t'ward the life to be shared.
We gathered our belongings, not so many you see
and set off t'ward the future knowing not what would be.
We had love then and hope for a future with joy
and pursued hard the training which would help in coming times to employ.
There were children, such blessings, count them one through the fifth,
and we learned through our twins that only three would be with
us in this life to share as a family of six
who would take on what life brought to such heights nondescript
oh, the fun and the joy as we shared with those in need
giving care as we shared lest we succumb to some greed.
All the blessings we compiled became treasure beyond earthly compare
oh the children from far lands who had come this life with us share
and we carried them in prayer though the miles kept apart
both these children and we who were joined at the heart.
Career funded all that we knew in life then
until fate one day brought so much crashing to end.
Then the pain began incessant as it tore through my life
rending nerves beyond means to control, left in strife
as I writhed on the floor, gnashing teeth lest I scream
but in end all control lost and I heard my voice seem
as a scourge of this planet, some bedevilled old sot
who had lost all control of body and would gladly be shot.
Through calamity my blessing, my wife and Best Friend
brought her heart to my need seeking means body mend.
Took me endless to doctors and the therapy and more
holding my hand and forecasting we would reach the far shore
where relief from earthly pain would come found, she had faith
and together we charted our course through this fate.
Oh, my darling, my wife, the love of my life
how my limits have changed life and she remains at my side.
So abilities changed, and former vigor now gone
but we share love so deeply that we're still blessed as one.
Tender touching and talking, sharing souls bared to thread
we have found more to life and so rich beyond bed.
Would we known this maturity of our love without pain
had I gone forth in glory in the business world game
earning funds without end that begat philanthropy
or would that life have become cold and the ultimate empty?
I am thrilled for this one who is LOVE of my LIFE
and feel blessed that through years of pain stayed at my side!
Can I do all I did in my youth oh so strong?
Not at all, but through this world I have learned I belong
to my wife without question as we share in new ways
how our love for each other comes as blessing each day
and she loves that I share on this place of such care
with so many in need who have pain without compare.
So this blessing I know as my wife who gives life
to this work on these pages, how grateful am I.

Indeed,
Mark56

Sinéad's blessing today, i've been thinking about this one for a while, and it helps me feel better when i'm down and in alot of pain, cranky and not myself

The support and help from my husband, family and closets friends, I really would never have gotten through the last 18 years I have been suffering pain at various levels without them. My girlfriends who PM me n Facebook and who pop in for a cuppa.
Especially my husband whom i've been with for as long as this pain, has laughed and cried with me through all of this, he keeps me strong and focused, without him I really, really would hate to think where I would be. Many a time I feel as if i've let him down because I couldn't do or go somewhere and he just holds my hand and says it's okay....
He truly is the biggest blessing in my life and then my wonderful parents, my sister Fiona all would litterally do anything for me if they could, it's the little things that help the most, have you any ironing? what about the hovering? when my brother calls and hands me the baby while he works in the garden with my hubby or my other sister who knows my god-daughter will cheer me up no end, and the hair cut when she knows i'd never be able to get down to the basin or sit in a salon for an hour! Then there is the kid brother who isn't well himself, fighting his own pain and demons, but sends me funny texts and emails just to say hi or share a joke.
I am very blessed to have all of these wonderful people in my life and I thank God every day for them.
I thank God too for this forum and the wonderful people i've met here and I'm quickly beginning to think of as close friends and gee I share stuff here that i'd never dream of sharing because really we all know how hard it can be to share and how hard it is to cope on the crappiest of painful days. We learn to trust and I think this is vitally important.

Nighty night folks, i'm sleepy now...

love Sinéad

How very beautiful, dear Sinéad!
Mark56

I am blessed in so many ways that it would take me months to write it all down. So for the sake of time, I will say:

1. I am blessed in that I have a wonderful mother who doesn't mind that her 25 year old daughter cannot take care of herself. She has welcomed me home and taken care of me. She understands me more than anyone else, and I would be totally lost without her.

2. I am incredibly blessed that God used my trip to Mayo (this last week and next week... and more to come) to help me to forgive the doctor I was so upset with and hurt by from last year.

3. Moreso, I am blessed that this same doctor that I was upset with is the one who is taking a stand and saying (unlike my neurosurgeon who did my SCS implants) "I will not just accept that the SCS won't work for you. The trials gave you 100% relief. The permanent aren't working--we need to investigate and find out why and try to fix it so you can get your life back". Finally--a doctor who isn't giving up on me just because I am not the standard textbook patient.

4. I am blessed by a good start to my trip at Mayo. It's long, but if you'd like to read about it, you can look here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahmae

to all