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08-23-2015, 10:49 PM | #251 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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In worship today.....
Focus drawn to thankfulness...... So much has occurred..... Many scalpel marks on this body..... And, yes, it has been for the good...... I Am Thankful Blessed Beyond Measure Sure There is still Pain AND There is life beyond pain I Am Blessed M56 |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (08-24-2015), eva5667faliure (08-24-2015) |
09-04-2015, 09:06 AM | #252 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for what I am about to receive today He lives in me I need to feel him Just a tad to continually press on Father the blessings are recognized and am grateful for everything good in my life Was able to avoid my NARCASISTIC family Who am I to judge I get it Let me remind her of your Love Your unconditional Love Life is something I am trying to embrace With fear of my own This terrible depression I am not fighting but embracing making You my healer for I trust I am taken on a road to be closer to my Father and known bliss awaits for me and I understand it be in YOUR TIME not mine Father Dad Angels Take care of my babies including my pet Bless my friends here on neuro talk that are now my new friends Love Me Thank you Father Thank you Brother Jesus Thank you Mother Mary Thanks to family here Love Me
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09-07-2015, 08:35 AM | #253 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for what i am about to receive in my day i ask Father in the name of Jesus and the Holy Spirit i rebuke any evil that has been working on me Father the human flesh as Christ who suffered pain unimaginable pain of all kinds the devil's temptation did not escape Christ Jesus as forty nights and days Father am i Questioning my Faith in you by asking to feel your Love not the Love that is precious between family but the Touch of your hand the feel of that flannel shirt and that awesome smell of the abundance of the wonderful feel of another who cares tho know i was witness in my dream at his body was crucified as silly as it may sound i was there to have had some unexplained happenings in life that only Faith in knowing we walk with Him always inflicted with this suffering i accept it is as it is to forgive this i must not have done truly for if i did i wouldn't Feel half the emotional pain to focus on my Blessings such as my growing network of support Mark, Gerry, Rrae, Allfe, Dave, David, Lara, DejaVu this just to name a few of a pool of caring loving souls Bizi, PamalaJune and on and on Debi Pooh and her farm just so mush gratitude someone not to long ago wrote just to see a hello is sometimes all one needs to start their day on a good note my mental state would have taken the best of me had i not gotten some of the most important responses of this new family that understands for most have and or are walking in my shoes i have a demon that is trying so hard to take control of my life and have special friends who help me fight this Father strike him down when trying to penetrate my mind and soul i am a smart rational woman and believe i, all are in the making of the Father so whatever will be will be help me in my depression i want to end my sadness i want not to hurt anymore i want the smile to return back in my heart with each step i take let the pain be lessened as my meds are what controls me never once abusing them a absolute necessity in my life as it is today my heart hasn't been behaving as it should time to find another cardiologist I am comfortable with Father bring that special someone into my life Blessings are noticed dear Father allow me to LOVE and be LOVED this i ask in Jesus name Amen Love Me
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09-07-2015, 03:53 PM | #254 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Praying, special lady, that you are introduced to that special one who will bring unbounded joy to your life.
God be with you in this, my friend. M56 |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (09-07-2015), ger715 (09-28-2015) |
09-23-2015, 09:53 AM | #255 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you about what I am to receive today May I remember all blessings bestowed upon us Father I ask in the name Jesus Please remove my sadness Let me enjoy my blessings I am so tired of the tears Every single morning I cannot remember a morning I haven't The fall is here My body already fighting the flux in weather My mind to follow Today I spend time with my shrink What to talk about today Pope Francsis is in NYC The moon in a special eclipse not seen since I was 22 years old thirty two years ago My dreams as a little girl not anything I imagined There is no solid home I can leave behind for my extended family It would be stipulated Never to be sold So none of my family ever be homeless A terrible thaught But very real This knot in my gut is strangling me As a very wise woman put it It is a unwelcome feeling It is a feeling that takes over my entire body from head to toe Father You know this to be true A KNOT in its grip I am lost It is so strong I try so hard to fight it and consciously push it out of my mind body and soul It grips on on leaves residual toxic thoughts No I do not hear voices I am so aware of my physical and spiritual being The blessings The blessings The glorious blessings Not always conscious of them As soberiety is priority and all else to follow on my part as a human being with now a very troubling change that has caused much hardship Hardship that is one ingreadent of many that has made me who I am today A work in progress Father Why the sadness Why this deep cold unwelcomed sadness Where do I fit in this world of greed hate disrespect towards ower elders How can I not let this pain get the better of Me When will you touch my heart my soul my every being Come into my weary life And breath air of happiness into my lungs Father You know what happened to me If my daughter wasn't there to tell me what I was feeling and visually experienced was so frightening The veins in my hands from the tips of my fingers up my arms into my chest looked as if they were black Corissa was witness to this Homework mentions trouble with circulation something prevelant on my mothers side I feel like I am slowly dying Rotting away from the inside out That one day I will drop and die This is not a good feeling I harbor It is unwelcomed Therefore the devil is working overtime to find me in a desperate way Don't let this happen Protect me Angels come and lift me higher Allow your love to continue to flow through me Help me with my children Help me let go of anger that is a cancer in itself Keep me strong in trying times that seems to be the theme for most my life Help me once again raise my grandchild with the foundation of your promises and undying love for us Bless the friends I have come to know here I want to give up And I know there is no option With much love Me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 09-24-2015 at 07:19 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (09-23-2015), ger715 (09-28-2015) |
09-25-2015, 12:41 PM | #256 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for the things I am to receive today Praying for this evil to rid my body Those who understand know What I feel I pray for you also For to have this in my being Is not a blessing But something that makes me conscious of the good that lives for me For us To have a heart that welcomes Your touch be my save Help me hold on to the good that comes Let me not whine my life away Angry I am Father This body your child cries Shameful I am As so many others are in a much worse condition I have become so afraid Where is my Faith The work of our Pope Across the world Embarrassed at how the Hungarian people are behaving towards the refugees My parents fled the county to Freedom The Pope and his messages softly spoken To pray the Our Father with him A snippet of joy The sadness the robs it from me The blessings The blessings Hold on to them Eva Holding I am Place my hand over my heart feel the beat that says I'm alive Far from alive am I In your arms I want to be The Pope and his message from the United Nation was beautiful To hear his soft spoken words of loving one another My family My entire family a total number of ten Ten of us in this country Ten Where am I going I have no job I have no love I have children who have their own life And have chosen not to be in my life as I so wish they were To wrap my arms around one of them A wish I would so look forward to I have tried and tried If I did not take Corissa out of school Not once But a second time A desire to return Now on a different level Not the standard way as a young student But as young adult I believe I did the right thing Since I have taken her out She has been attending a program Called NewPathway I have been an active parent I believe Corissa will do extremely well when she returns back to school I am tired about so many things in my life at such a young age as for myself that is Fifty four is young I do not know what it feels like to be a older senior as many are suffering with ailments that come with age and genes This be my case Genes gave me a screwed up back I gave myself emphysema Don't know if I gave myself Cancer As it too is in my gene My maternal grandmother a victim I want to spend the little time I have left in life with some self enjoyment A hobby that I could do to take me out of myself To be me Is to want to die Not a welcomed feeling None the less it is part of my life Not a welcomed With all my might it is my hope a dream to one day have this horrible feel taken so I may enjoy life One day at a time Without a tear in a day One day Let me count my blessings May anyone suffering as I am I pray it disappear in the night Like a wolf Love Me
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10-27-2015, 10:43 AM | #257 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for what I am to receive today It has been such a long time My blessings alway recognized Never appreciated As this horrible pain I suffer Hands and feet beyond out if control Dropping anything I touch This month at my pain specialest Was told The pain is so great in the morning I do not want to be alive I explained to the best of my ability He introduced in my morning regimen One 5mg oxycodone with what I already take It has made a world of a difference What a conundrum should I be in To have had addiction in my life And I am on Meds that are wanted on the streets God help them It kills to be in doctors care and not be able to not have to take Meds that kill my pain It is just a mask And without it now I would die How can this be Father How can I keep going Pushing forward So I just don't lay like a dog and just die Even a dog at its time looks for their companion This I know I have a dog Whom I miss dearly In the care of my daughter When can I have someone to love and love me back In Jesus name I ask My children have lives and loves of their own I gave up the idea of the trial and error in establishing a relationship yet I really am ready for a special someone Let me not have love in my life and to die never having that Today the edge is off I don't know what tomorrow will bring This much I know My desire to want your blessing and to feel your Spirit Is my first desire Dear Father Blessings I wish this community knows how much support I am given to not give up I will honor you Father In Jesus name In You I trust Love Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (10-27-2015) |
10-29-2015, 08:12 AM | #258 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for what I am to receive today The extra five mg increase in my morning intake was the ticket Now I have to knock it off I this cookie painted a wall as I can only push so much Put up my mirrors in the dining room Hung a couple of pictures Last night after retiring and taking a shower I got up and began painting the baseboards It is what I love to do I have a knack for design Any and everyone who has entered my home ALWAYS would I get a compliment on my design There is a friend in the building I am helping her with the desired look she wants I hit the nail on its head She loves it A big mistake on my part I would be lying if I said I didn't know of the conquences The other TRUELY AMASING THING IS I can now push all my other intakes of Meds at a later time On a average it is push up three hours Isn't this awesome Now on the other hand Corissa started the PILL to regulate her period Not without fail As she is ovulating and breaking out with a pimple So am I I CAN feel my body and its changes AMAZING BUT TRUE Father allow me to be the best I can without hurting myself We have found for now some relief The fibromyalgia is still peering through My inplants are causing the pain under my armpits My I insurance does not want to pay for my sonogram of my hollowed out chest Can you imagine This now is how I HAVE to have it done Now I ask you Father I cannot pay a penny towards my medical bills What can I do I have no blanking job or private insurance anymore The government Let me not cry it is sad this country deny my mammogram as I am a cancer patient Waiting to be deemed in remission Father having my old friend over was something else I needed To be in the company of a man who enjoys our time together He meet my granddaughter and immediately crouched down and did what came natural I was impressed Someone I can see myself with And even though he is divorced and is free He is in love with a woman who just re-entered his life So Until he is single and wants to get together he is good with that because his love is married Until then we are two people who understand each other Father it justs baffles me We know each other since grammer school Where is MY LOVE My blessings bestowed upon us I say thank you Father Allow me to love And be loved in return By someone like Jimmy Who gets me and I get him We have such awesome conversations It was interesting to watch Corissa be courious To not want to die from is something only one who experiences it I have the time and desire to be with someone who will be patient with me Can I ask for that Father Please in Jesus name I ask this of you Allow someone special in my life Let me look into the eyes of anybody in the future you put before me in the rest of my life left Let me feel that spark The butterflies in my tummy everything I have heard of between two who love each other In Jesus name This for me And to take care of my babies My dog And my friends Amen Thank you God Thank you Jesus Thank you Mother Mary As my granddaughter would say AMEN Thank You for my blessing Love Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (10-29-2015) |
11-17-2015, 11:09 AM | #259 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for what i am about to receive today let me remind myself never to forget your words and work and what we have been given in Your name to keep it as simple as the 10 commandments and for anyone is it not the truth of the simple request that is asked of us and so many of us fall short over and over and over again dear God is a forgiving Father my image in a warm worn flannel shirt that we all want to rest our head on the aroma of love beyond any we have ever known Dad are you in our Father's house is your soul in peace do you live in Spirit are you listening we have such little time together almost never do we gather anymore heartbreaking not in my control so want this family to heal overall it is a desire to be one as family am i asking for much love me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 11-17-2015 at 02:17 PM. Reason: will return to continue |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-17-2015), PamelaJune (11-18-2015) |
11-22-2015, 09:57 AM | #260 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for all your blessings You are in control of my life I trust in Jesus Let me speak of the good So much to tell God I know you keep me around For your purpose And I will do my best to Honor You Blessings to all Love Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-22-2015) |
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