[AfterMyNap]

As a confirmed single person, my friendships are my children, my hobby, my husband, my pets, my lawn, and my garden. My oldest friend and I just spent a couple of days together and it was a much-needed boost for us both. We were up all night laughing as if we were still 10.

Tell me about your friends!

[tovaxin_lab_rat]

Originally Posted by AfterMyNap

As a confirmed single person, my friendships are my children, my hobby, my husband, my pets, my lawn, and my garden. My oldest friend and I just spent a couple of days together and it was a much-needed boost for us both. We were up all night laughing as if we were still 10.

Tell me about your friends!

You're just trying to boost your post count to catch up with DM!

My best friend doesn't live close to me either. We talk on the phone a lot, email a lot, and see each other when we can. We can argue with each other over the silliest things, and when we do, we hang up laughing like it never happened. We can disagree, but still remain friends. We don't try to force each other to have the same opinion about something, what would be the point in that? Bor-ing!

We always have fun together, no matter what. We laugh, we cry, we scream, we dance (oh yes!), we are soul mates. That's what counts! In the end, each of us would stop whatever we were doing and go help the other...no questions asked.

She's the best.

[DM]

I feel so blessed to have my friends.... We have a group of friends that meet for coffee every other wk, and I have a great relationship w/each one of them. One of my dearest friends is like a sister to me... *only we don't have the priviledge of having fought a ton while growing up*.

We tell each other everything and laugh and cry together... I have another dear friend that I am also extremely close to.... We don't have to work at our relationship at all... It just "IS"...

I feel so lucky to have wonderful, strong women in my life who aren't afraid to show their emotions or tell me to my face that the outfit I just came out of the dressing room is totally NOT ME!..

My bestest friend is my DD.....

Oh, and I have a "unique" relationship w/another friend, who totally gets me. She has taught me that I can be ME and not have to explain it... She also makes me see that there is a great big world out there and to embrace it.... She knows I know that she knows who she is.... Huh?????

[greta]

It's funny, but I never realized that my friends are compartmentalized. Depending on my mood, or need - I might go to a particular one. My sister and my DH are my all around friends that I want to talk to no matter what - everyone else seems to have a special purpose.

[theoneRogue420]

My best friend is my honey Michael He and I met June 18th, 1999, and have never spent a single day apart in all that time. I was already into my 6th year of rsd, and he was in his 6th year of aids/HepC (I have aids too now, but that's a different story for another thread, lol) We looked into each others eyes, and that was it. The intensity scared the bejesus outta me!

As for other friends, I have none, due to being a Navy wife and transfering every year. After that, I ran around the country trying to find medical help for the rsd. Back then it was little understood, and even less well treated. But don't think I need pity or feel sorry for myself, I do not. I have Michael, God, two grown sons and two great cats to keep me company

[Sea Pines 50]

and they left my life, one by one, after my injury and the years of wicked bad chronic pain that came after that. you know how they do. it's so hard for them to understand what you're going through, why you don't show up anymore, or with a smile on your face. doesn't mean it's personal (well sometimes it is, and it always feels that way, truth be told!).

but it took decades to diagnose me and by then the husband was long gone, the girlfriends were goner, and i had lost my ability to work so no social life either. perfect isolation for the loner personality! (yeah, like the chronic pain monster doesn't separate us enough anyways as one of its ploys...) what a set up! i fell neatly into it.

i'm sure the anger, self-pity and depression i felt did nothing for my already prickly personality. (i still think the family could have been a little more understanding, but they all live in a different state, with busy lives and problems of their own, so it's not like they were here to see the day-to-day struggle or how miserable things really had gotten for me...)

but then i found braintalk, and after "the big crash" i wended my way over to the TOS forum at neurotalk eventually. the people i've met there are my friends today.

i've never had any finer.

and my wonderful daughter chelsea, who's never ever left my side.

can't forget her!

she's in the will.

[AfterMyNap]

It is hard when some folks slip away or turn their backs completely. It really doesn't make sense when we consider what "friendship" is supposed to mean.

But Rogue, I'm thrilled that you have Michael, and he sounds like a fantasy guy.

And Sea, LOL, I'm glad Chelsea's in the will! You don't seem so prickly to me!

I sure hope I haven't rubbed any salt into old wounds, I would hate to do that to you.

[KathyM]

I'm blessed with a wonderful husband and son. Our son is in the Navy and I probably won't see him for another two years. I miss him terribly.

I used to have a lot of friends, but only a few good friends have remained. I've been disabled and homebound for quite a few years now. I can't do the things I used to do with them. I don't want to bother them with phone calls because I know they are busy. I rarely have any news anyway - not much happens when you spend most of your time alone in a chair. The only news I usually have is bad, so I spare them.

My good friends still call and come over once in a while, but the relationship has changed. I sometimes feel like a charity case, or just another stranger on their list of sick people to visit.

It doesn't help when I push myself to do things either. I attended a horse show a while back with a friend of mine who has taken up an interest in riding. I used to ride and show horses when I was younger, and she used to watch me compete.

It was a bittersweet moment for me because it was the same stable where I used to work. So many fond memories. I started crying as I walked toward the barn in my frail legs, knowing I'll never be able to ride again. I tried to be happy for the riders, but I started crying again when my friend told me I used to look beautiful when competing. Now I'm just a "freak" with a distorted face for strangers to gawk at and laugh.

I wonder sometimes if it would be better if I didn't have any friends at all. I wonder sometimes if I should forget about the world outside.

[AfterMyNap]

Originally Posted by KathyM

I wonder sometimes if it would be better if I didn't have any friends at all. I wonder sometimes if I should forget about the world outside.

No way, Kathy. No way. Keep giving the world outside the best parts of what's inside you! It's all any of us can ever do, sick or not. I am convinced that every single one of us is here for a reason and that includes you. Just imagine, this is the first post of yours that I've seen here, and your words really touched me.

I have MS and less than 10% of my former life. I tell you the truth, I have stayed remarkably busy in ways that I never dreamed would enter my life. This is it, the stuff between the major events is the stuff of life. I implore you to celebrate who you are and how you can contribute to the world. You're here, and we need you, right here, right now, just as you are!!!

And do thank your valiant son for me.

[theoneRogue420]

"I sure hope I haven't rubbed any salt into old wounds, I would hate to do that to you."

Not for me you haven't, no worries! I feel more peace than I ever have before, it's a good thing. People can be a constant source of disappointment, plus I don't need the stress involved, lol.

Sea, it went that way for me, too. The few friends I had when I got hurt faded away one by one. As sad as that sounds, it really wasn't. It relieved the guilt I felt when I couldn't live up to what they wanted from me. I had been a very active type, and that's what the people around me wanted me to continue to be... they didn't understand it was impossible. I was actually glad they couldn't understand... they would have to feel this pain, and I wouldn't want that for my worst enemy, let alone anyone I called "friend".

That's where my sig came from. It's a quote from my honey's ex-wife, a crazy-as-the-day-is-long woman. (She must have heard it from someone else there in Puerto Rico, cuz it sure doesn't fit her at all! )