New York is an equitable distribution state as oppossed to a common property state. For example money or property from inheritance to him would remain his but the interest or appreciation in value since the inheritance would be marital property. Seperate bank accounts is a big factor also in how property is distributed in divorce. The fact that he is on disability and has limited future earning capacity will also work in his favor. He seems to have his ducks in a row, she d better smarten up.

HE HAS A LOT OF DUCKS IN A ROW HASN'T HE????

I only hope she gets a lawyer as soon as possible.

I am not telling her anything. She doesn't believe it, and she and her mom think the whole thing will go away.

I DON'T THINK SO!!!!

sigh!!!

Melody

Ugh! Both very frustrating and sad to see. Nothing you can do about it. Unfortunately, she's got her head in the sand & her mom is complicating matters further by reinforcing that behavior.

Air hugs
Shez

There are a couple of ways the Social Security Administration pays spousal benefits and divorced spouse benefits. Spousal benefits can be paid if the AGE or child-in-care requirements are met. Divorced spouse benefits can be paid if the marriage lasted more than 10 years and AGE requirements are met and the divorced spouse is currently unmarried (some remarriage exceptions can apply). If the marriage lasted 9 years, 11 months and 29 days or less, then no divorced spouse benefits can be paid. No spousal or divorced spousal benefits can be paid if the wife (in this case) is eligible for more than 50% on her own Social Security record.

You state they have been together for 30 years, so she is probably in her 50's, not yet age 62. Hopefully she was legally married for the entire 30 years and not relying on common-law marriage to protect her rights.

If the marriage lasted over 10 years AND the ex-wife is currently over age 62, she could be potentially entitled to Social Security divorced spouse benefits paid directly to her regardless of her ex-husband's wishes, desires, or divorce decree. If she files her retirement claim at full retirement age (between ages 65 and 68, depending upon her year of birth), she can get 50% of his monthly benefit. If she is under full retirement age and over age 62 when she files the retirement claim, that is considered early retirement and the 50% can be reduced by another 75%.

Example: Ex-husband benefit $1000. 50% $500. Spouse files at age 62 so monthly benefit is 75% of $500 or $375.

This answer does not address whether or not the state will award spousal benefits (alimony) to be paid to the divorced spouse. That is not a Social Security question. The state has guidelines, but the divorce court decides. Social Security spousal benefits are set by law and a divorce court cannot change the law. The divorce court would consider the length of the marriage as one factor in determining alimony. The wage-earner (husband in this example) cannot choose to not elect spousal benefits from Social Security if all requirements are met. When she does reach age 62, the amount she gets from Social Security divorced spouse benefits will not reduce the amount he receives. If he remarries, it doesn't change her entitlement since her marriage lasted over 10 years. The retirement divorced spouse benefits can be paid to her from age 62 until she dies, as long as she meets all other requirements.

Until she is age 62, she will not qualify for payment of Social Security divorced spouse benefits. And then she must apply. Alimony is at the discretion of the divorce court.

Okay, this is what I got from your posting. She isn't entitled to ANYTHING FROM HIS DISABILITY CHECK. Until she hits the age of 62, then she can file.

She's only 50 and she works full time. Doesn't make a lot and can't support herself until they sell the house. He has told her because he is the one who made the mortgage payments, that she is NOT entitled to half of the house.

I believe this is BS and that if her name is on the deed, then she is entitled to half the house.

Now all this has to be done through lawyers, and such, but the way her mind works right now, she can't face ANY OF THIS.

very sad

We women have to get our priorities straight, know our rights, and not be bulldozed by ANYBODY!!

HERE HERE!!!!

lol

Very sad story. I agree for you to stay out of it and just offer emotional support. She will realize she has no choice soon and will have to contact a lawyer. She will not get anything from his disability since that is his only. However, there may be a loop hole that causes him to hold all his assets in an account and pay out spousal support not related to his disability. Her name not being on any documents can mess her up too so she needs a good lawyer.

Dependant on the state law, usually anything aquired after the marriage is owned by both spouses. His inheirantence may be as well if it was awarded after they married. I really don't know because I am not a lawyer, just giving thoughts. I never did understand a marriage like that. I am way too independant to let something like this happen to me. lol

as far as social security benefits go the money wouldnt come out of his check, she would get 50% of what he is getting in addition, if she met the requirements, so its no skin off of his teeth if she gets money at 62.

as i said before in new york state inheritance would be his, appreciation or interest on what was inherited would be marital property. Every state is different, that is why lawyers are the only ones who win in contested divorces.

i remember a number of years ago Joan Lunden the newscaster had a fit because she had to pay her ex husband alimony. the sad part is not the divorce but the emotional warfare that goes on because one person or the other tries to grab more than what is legally fair or becomes embittered and makes a war of revenge out of it.

Divorce is hell

especially so when the man calls the woman a slut, a whore and tells the whole neighborhood that she's a pig (believe me, she's not).

He's been doing this FOR YEARS!!

Why people stay in these marriages is beyond my comprehension.

I think it has to do with the fact that these women get married at 19 and have never ever been on their own. Somebody has always taken care of them.

So what happens 25 or 30 years later when the kids are grown, and out, and the man decides to UP AND LEAVE!!!!

The woman is not prepared for this. She's living in her bubble and there she wants to stay.

This bubble is soon to be broken.

sigh!!

Thanks for all the good information.

Melody