Yeh Eva, I heard about that family too. When I hear news like that I can only pray. So many things come to us Via the news these days, and not much of it is good. So we pray, thats what we do. hope your day is going OK Eva. Of course I am thinking of you. ginnie

bless your sweet heart
how are you my dear
anyone loving you
sending my love
dear friend

By your example, you are giving all of us strength and learning coping skills as well.

Thank you God for Eva

Thank you for asking. I do have caring people in my life. Lots of support. Unfortunately it is not from my family. I pray for that part of my family that abandoned me, and I forgive them. My daughter was in special ed. her husband took a dislike of me, and prevented me from every seeing her or my grandson. He is a contol person, who allowed no communication. I was bitter for a long time. I had to give it to God to solve, because I could not. My health has been doing OK. Pain is kept in check, and I have some very good physicians in my corner. My doctors do know about my family sitution and are very compassionate. I now have to take this part of my family to court over a messy trust. It will be a difficult year, but again God has blessed me with a pro-Bono lawyer. I wait to hear from this attorney now. I find it hard to be patient. Life really can be hard Eva, so I come here to give and recieve those good prayers and thoughts. You know I will be with you too on your surgery date. When I hear of others troubles, it puts my own trouble into perspective. I have much to be grateful for. So many of us face things that are difficult. I am glad we have each other on this site to help us along. Have a good day Eva, I have that prayer list written down! ginnie

dear ginnie

unfortunately we can't pick our family
but you can or won't allow it in your life
and move on
now please don't misunderstand
i miss the idea of a mother
she still lives
my feeling to date
is so deep
i will regret
for i have no respect
she is not due the honor
someone who will not own up to the
lies and truths that still
continue to surface
some may say i am relentless
if i fell strongly of its ramifications
such as mine
something i know is not allowed
i am suppose to honor my father and mother
i honored so much my little body suffered
hard unusual tasks were expected
from my sister and myself
bottom line i wouldn't be me
if i weren't true to myself
i miss a mother
but would rather do without
it hurts toooooo much
shame on me!
it is what it is
i understand

You sure do understand. I did go for council, numerous times. The pain from my family situation, only made my physical pain worse. I gave up on that part of the family, or just let it go to God. I hated to do that, but the situation was not tolerable and very abusive to me. thanks Eva for that responce. Yes we must take care of our own souls. I hope this day finds you at peace. ginnie

dear friends

it is a painful kind of day
my neck head and body troubles
didn't go anywhere
if anything it is worse
just have something else
occupying the brain but
my pain is spreading
so as soon as i can
i will need to find a
neurosurgeon
and talk about the damage
and pain that this one has stripped me of
not only my paycheck last of my
dignity although it too does not
define me it is not my bliss
cooking is had a deli at one time
my quality of life gone like that
are now in a studio apartment
i choose never to marry again
worked all my life around my children
still working nights
don't know what is down the road with all this ****
i cannot be without medicine
i am on a leave from my job
bed ridden most times
it hurts to even do that
i need to contort my body
so i am not in pain
and type with struggles
not so much during
but afterwards the throbbing
pain i feel travel
up and down up and down a heart beat
of its own
and the cracking now there is a lot of that quickly
till then i take my meds
as per last ct-scan i haven't
fused yet
interesting what one
can or can't imagine
all i had to do (AS PER DOCTORS ORDERS)
test that showed
must have surgery
and then a second one
and make things worse
i hope my message
i feel good with
my paper trail that tells a hell of
a story make sure your doctor
not only answers your questions
but if he wouldn't mind putting that
in writing
yeah me!
ASSHOLE
i am sorry
i curse him everyday
he took some of my working parts
from me
if a doctor seems annoyed
when you ask questions
you don't want them as a doctor
regardless of status or reputation
he is not worthy of such respect or title
the fact he let the hematoma
go on for so long before draining
2 times
once before leaving
after two days home
it swelled like a half of
a grapefruit
oh my word
the pain
i delivered 4 babies natural
until we got to hospital to drain
i believe it needed draining again
refused
i have permanent pain at site
and some jaw line
bottom line done with him
must start all over
your all the greatest

I am so sorry your day has had so much pain. I wish I could take it away from you. When tomorrow is overwith, and you are well, I know you will have to address your back issue. I wish you could see my neurologist. I have such confidence in him. My doctor I was told is also a man of faith. I am sorry your doctors failed you. I will begin to pray right now that you will be able to find a neurologist that will really do something to help your pain. Nobody likes living with that much pain all the time. It drains your soul. Just get through tomorrow, and recover. Maybe the pain meds. for your surgery will also help your back for a time. What state do you live in Eva? You don't have to even tap back tonight, I know things are on your mind. My wish is that you have no fear, that my guardian angel is right now beside you hanging out, and that your pain goes away. It is hard to deal with more than one issue at a time. I will sure be here, when you come back from surgery. My neighbors are even praying for you. Their names are Bob and Lori. My house mate is praying too. If there were ever a person who deserved peace in their lives it is you. God grant you peace this night, and recovery with ease. You will not be out of my thoughts until you are back here and recovering. I hope God in his mercy will extend his hands to you right this minute. ginniehug::