(original post with message is on previous page oopsy. )

I'm sorry to hear you're also feeling so down... did I cause it by bringing back memories of your own lost loved ones? If I did I'm sorry and I didn't mean to.

Most of what you wrote describes a typical day in my life too, (except for the part about Thanksgiving which won't happen here for a month and a half ) If I didn't know better I'd say you were spying on me.

I hope you had a nice holiday with your family; know that you are loved there just like you are here. And have fun with all of your Children-Addys and Grand-Addys, and any other kinds of Addys that I don't know about.

I love Thanksgiving! It's all about being surrounded by family for me!

Wow... I think you all hit the nail on the head, so to speak...

yep, it was the holiday that brought this depression back full swing... the anxiety and thoughts about what it might be like should NOT have brought me down as it did... but it did ...

and my evening with my boys (their girlfriends, their Dad) and grand-Addy was more than I could have imagined... and I felt overwhelmed with thankfulness that it all turned out so well...

they love me... thank goodness for that.

and you love me... and for that, I will forever be grateful as I was truly blessed the day I found you!!!

Woke up thinking about you Addy and wondering how you are feeling?
You have a lot going on in your life right now and I pray that you aren't feeling overwhelmed by it. Please remember that you are loved around here....and in real life.

Ah, thanks Alffeeeee. I'm sitting here with a siamese cat curled under one arm and a lap top on my knee, watching The Price is Right (lol!) sorta. I woke up to a lovely email from our Lara. I hope your weekend with your girls was full of warmth and laughter.

I'm doing much better - I seriously wish I could figure out what makes me spiral out of control when it comes to depression... my meds DO work but there are times I still can't seem to shake off that "not worthy" feeling. Its times like this that I just want to quit everything... knowing that isn't the answer!

I've only been back singing since about January and "they" have placed me in the back row of the chorus, left - where all the world can see me - I may as well be a soloist up there- and last night just before I went to bed I received an email from our choreographer telling me that some of my choreo moves are late, blah blah blah... and would I take some time to review it. That gets my blood boiling - I won't go into the details of how crappy she is a choreographer and lacks teaching skills.... I just gotta suck it up and practice even more ... either that or say screw it, I've got to slow down and not put so much pressure on myself (we're having a show in November).

Just bringing that up to show how quickly the scale can tip... I kept thinking - why couldn't I read that email in the morning - why did it have to be moments before I go to bed... aaaargh.... and I put the blame on this stupid woman when, really... she doesn't know better... and it is up to me .... AND I am letting it go, so there!

I may take the pressure off myself and not be in the show - I'm not sure if its vanity that keeps me going.... or if its stupidity.... lol

And, in the scheme of things... this is nothing

[Never feel bad about reaching out to those of us on this site. It takes courage to admit when you are having a hard time. Do not be afraid to seek council. It is OK to feel stuck in rut. There are ways out, and you did the right thing by talking. You will only find careing compassionate people here. Since I go through bad depression too, I do know how it feels to be stuck not doing anything but sitting. When that happens I come back here, talk to my psychologist, and take that tiny step forward. My medical problems are severe, and I do need the help that I find right here. Please be good to yourself. I care about you. ginnie

(((Addy))) I'm so sorry. You could have described me to a T so many times in my life and a lot of them this past year. And yes, I think I would talk to the doctor about a change in your meds. Though I'm not sure what you are presently on. My doc told me long ago he believed I should be on ADs 4ever. All I know is that the few times I tried not to take them...oh my, bad choice.

I'm going to send you a message on FB with some info I think you should really look into! It's been highly touted by the NIMH and is a highly regarded practice.

(((hugs)))

Hi addy, I am thinking about you too today. Please be good to yourself. I come back here all the time for support with my depression. I don't forget those of us who have to go through it. sending good thoughts your way. ginnie