This is a hard thing for me to admit....but, I find at this time of year, I am really 'jealous', I guess, of people who've 'overcome' or are dealing with and are winning the fight with brain injuries. I'm glad that Gabby Giffords is getting better and has come so far. I'm glad that Bob Woodward (I think that's his last name....the reporter from ABC who was injured in Iraq while reporting). But I just wonder who works it out....who decides who's good enough to live and who isn't?

My oldest brother was severely brain injured in 1981...he was in a coma/vegetative state for 25 years, 1 month and 10 days. He never opened his eyes, never spoke, never was able to move....I was so tempted to unplug his respirator when it first happened, and the only reason that I didn't was because he had 2 young children who were more like my brother and sister than my own brothers and sister. He was much older than me...more like a 'dad'....but I'm sorry that I didn't unplug him. I know he wouldn't have wanted to be like that for that period of time. Not when there was no hope.

Everytime I hear stories about someone 'coming back from the brink of death' it makes me really wonder....who decides....why one person over another? What makes one person's life better than another....or more worth saving than another? My sister-in-law (this brother's wife) was killed in a wreck with my brother driving just 5 years before, so didn't his kids need him, since they didn't have their mom? It's hard to explain....'jealous' I guess just sums it up best at this point. And I know that seems silly to be jealous of someone living but that's the only word I can think of.

You have cause to be hurt and sad after witnessing the slow demise of your brother. Medicine has gone too far when it comes to keeping people alive artificially. A living will and DNR orders help but do not always get the "victim's" wishes respected. I'm sorry you all had to go through that. (((Hippiechick)))

My mom was on a resperator for a few days before my dad told them to pull the plug. She was lucky she had him there to do that for her. She occationally opened her eyes, but there was no one inside... just automatic bodily functions. We all knew there was no real hope of her ever waking up again. I'm sorry you had to be the one to make those decisions for your brother.

I like to think that it's God who decides who pulls through and who doesn't, but there are an infinate number of things that could effect it, from age to genetics to their previous lifestyle. Ultimately though I think the best we can call it is sheer luck. There are so many things we'll just never understand no matter how much we want to.

((((Hippiechick)))))
Well, my friend, I believe its perfectly natural to have these thoughts... and I see them as somewhat of a mood changer for you... all these things that are out of our control make us wonder so much

I like to think that only your brother and all those passing before us can really tell us why their bodies left this world when they did. I believe they are still living on... in more ways than we will know until we're there, too.

I tend to think that it's money....those who have it are treated better and more willingly than those who don't. I think it's as simple as that...my big bro was a 'nobody' in comparison to the ones who've survived their injuries. Therefore, they were worth 'investing' in....and going to the extremes to help. My bro wasn't wealthy, he wasn't worth it...simple, really. I guess it sounds very bitter and maybe it is, right now. It just comes and goes....I'm not always like this...I think it's just the season....I need to stop thinking about everything! And today is the 39th anniversary of my mom's death...I've been without her far, far longer than I had her in my life and I guess I just miss her. I guess you just don't stop missing a mom....no matter how old you are!

Yes, hubby and I have everything taken care of for ourselves so there's no doubt what we would want and everyone we know has heard us say what we want; anyone, please feel free to 'pull my plug'...lol. Seriously, though, I'm not going to a hospital, so there will never be any doubt of anything! I tend to stay away from people who could ever possibly make those decisions!!! Sworn them off like the plague!!! LOL...I think that could sound just a 'wee bit' paranoid, huh?

No it doesn't sound paranoid but you'd BETTER have it in writing or you might end up somewhere against your wishes.