David don't be so hard on yourself. You might not feel it now but you did do the right thing. I don't know what kind of work you're in but I have no clue how she lasted there this long. I could go on and on about somethings that are going on at my job right now but I won't because this is about you. I know you're concerned about her but you're not her caretaker. You did all you could so now the ball's in her court and she has to grow up and face the consequences.

I've read some articles about spirituality in the workplace. Spirituality is communication, respect, vision, partnership, fun and finding yourself. And she hasn't found herself. And you can't take responsibility for that

Thank you all for your kind words of support.........

I still feel blhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh about the whole thing. I was in work over the weekend and gutted the office... rearranged files.. emptied 12 months of clutter..organised the whole place... never wanted to stamp ownership [ ive been there six years , others 1 year 1year and two months...] My job is a Peer Supprt worker[ i mentor other workers but in a non supervisory role] i have been keen never to over cross the line into telling people what to do...so as not to ruffel feathers.... but i have by holding back watched the clerical; side disintergrate... and as Kola quite rightly said we are there to work.. for the company...
My own opinion is .it takes years to build a reputation, and moments to loose it.'

Im back in tomorrow and hopefuly my spring clean will tell the others i mean to lead from the front, from now on.

My biggest cocern is this woman, kills herself.......................i know its in her to do it.............[ AND I KNOW ANY NOTE WILL HAVE MY NAME IN IT]

My worry is one day some-one will use my mental heallth condition against me..........[though many know, as i advocate honesty @ appropriate timming, plus i'm in this job environment to help those who need it most anyway]

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I

I just never thought my role would entail counselling colleagues[ so far thats all i've done, including previous ten years with Social services..Learning Disabillities]

I SOMETIMES THINK I HAVE A SIGN OVER MY HEAD SAYING 'DUMP ON ME'

I too blame Management for this monumental foul up... and did.. in my statement request someone grow a set of BALLS and end this girls misery...either with intense suppervision[now installed] or the SACK on grounds of HEALTH/INCOMPETENCE

In an all male homeless hostel all ten residents viewed her as ECENRTIC

Two current residents [heroin user's] have consantly asked where she is... which adds to my Paranioa..........


I rencently completed a coures in Teaching in the life long learning sector...my course i had to construct from scratch, was DONT FORGET ABOUT M.E

M=MOTIVATION in the work place and E=EMPATHY in the work place

I based the former element on this woman, and the latter element on another collegue.

Sadly my line of work attracts a lot of un-hinged people[ including myself] many are in it for the money...which you find out very quickly... others are in it as a calling /vocation....which yo can also see

Sadly Employers/Management.. those conducting interviews.... never quite get it right.. and employ the former catorgorie of money hunters.


Maybe it is me ...maybe i need to change my working role and get out of caring/support work.............


My clients i take at face value ..never/judge/never asume

its always those arround me that , throw a SPANNER IN THE WORKS.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD GIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEE
Strengthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Please can i also say ........recently i have gone a bit O.T.T On trying to explain why people may try/succeed in Suicide...[maybee trying to justify my existance/survival]

I truly believe what i say , in that reality disapears in the actual ACT
tHOSE OF YOU STILL IN SHOCK /ANGER/HATRED against those who have committed/attempted i am truly sorry.....................i mean know offence..
i just want people to realise SUICIDE committed/or/attempted ..is a crazy..moment..not of Reality.............but DESPERATION/CONFUSION/INTRO-SPECTION........Certainly ...........not done to deliberately hurt the true survivors.the loved ones ................[nohope i'm truly sorry for your loss, Nik-ey Alffe...Bizi..BJ..and so many many more........truly sorry....


David

Bless you David.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

(((David))) It's ok to want to justify your past/present/ attempts...most of us have been there at one time or another. I do understand what you are saying but once again let me caution you...what ever this woman decides to do with her life, including if she decides to end it....it's her choice, not yours.

"I truly believe what i say , in that reality disapears in the actual ACT
tHOSE OF YOU STILL IN SHOCK /ANGER/HATRED against those who have committed/attempted i am truly sorry.....................i mean know offence..
i just want people to realise SUICIDE committed/or/attempted ..is a crazy..moment..not of Reality.............but DESPERATION/CONFUSION/INTRO-SPECTION........Certainly ...........not done to deliberately hurt the true survivors.the loved ones .."

I know that Michaels act was not done deliberately to hurt us. It was a thoughtless act. If he had any idea of what his killing himself would do to us he wouldn't have done it. He didn't think...he just reacted. I have forgiven him, I just am angry that he's missing a wonderful life.

My present "lot in life" is to try to make people understand that their "choices" have consequences for the rest of us.

DON'T DO IT!!!!

You're one of the good guys David because you really give a dam.

David - (I don't know how to post a copy correctly) Alffe said:
(((David))) It's ok to want to justify your past/present/ attempts...most of us have been there at one time or another. I do understand what you are saying but once again let me caution you...what ever this woman decides to do with her life, including if she decides to end it....it's her choice, not yours.
Very recently the therapist of someone I'm involved with said to me: "It's his decision, not yours."

(((David))) I wrote a whole long post but it wasn't making sense. You are a wonderful person. That woman is a few bricks short of a load, and you can't be responsible for her actions. She took advantage. You went out of your way to help.

I'm going to ramble so will stop. (headache, can't think straight)

Hugs.

David Alffe has said over and over again that if someone is he** bent on killing themselves you aren't going to stop them. A couple weeks ago when I was at my tdoc's after my friend committed suicide I told her I was getting urges again. Do you know what she said? Well, you have the means to do it but why don't you wait until tomorrow? I was shocked. She didn't try to talk me out of it. I asked her why and she said if you're convinced you're going to do it you will. Tomorrow came and went and I'm still here.

I think that company has a lot more to do than spring cleaning David. She needs to be fired, she needs to quit blaming you. And you need to take care of you I care David, we care

I've been trying so hard not to think about "it" but tonight I'm being forced. I'm going to my first survivors of suicide meeting. My mom and dad went when Mark committed suicide but I didn't go, I was too young to understand. Now I'm older and need to talk (hopefully ) and understand.

Bj, please know that you aren't going there alone...we all will be there with you in spirit...just try to feel us in your heart. It will be difficult to listen to some of the stories and see the tears but remember what Bizi said...you don't have to talk unless you want to.

David remeber :God dose NOT punish people the only two things that do are 1. Other people and
2. Yourself
PLEASE DO NOT LET EITHER OF THOSE HAPPEN!
WE CARE AND LOVE YOU AND SO DOSE THE ONE UPSTAIRS!!!!!!!
You can not controll another actions
BUT
You can controll your actions

You cannot take responsibility for others
BUT
You can take responsibility for your self
I dont know what Iam tryin to say or what point I am trying to make just know you are in my thoughts and prayers and wishing you healing vibs, Peace , strength , courage and sunny times. oh yeah and lots of ,
PEACE
BMW

David, I can't imagine what you must be going through, but can only relate to past circumstances. I was in the same situation a couple years ago. I had been with the company for 15 years and they always hired someone that could not perform up to my standards. I was doing EVERYTHING for everbody and then went home to a disfunctionable family. I had heart palpatations so severe, I thought for sure I would be admitted to a hospital. On top of that, my current supervisor was out for my head cause I was trying to bring him down. His lying, deceit, steeling and corporate embezelment was atrocious. I couldn't take it anymore. My world was in shambles. I finally exposed my latest collegue and have had to live with that still as we are still friends. She never knew who exposed her, but I do.

Someone like that makes the work environment hostile and unproductive and with all the weight on one person's shoulder, impossible. Shame on her! A very needy individual with absolutely no acceptance of responsibility for her own actions. Never would I have gotten away with so much sick time and late shows. I can't believe anyone could get away with as much irresponsibility as her. Wow!

I know you feel guilty, and really there is no reason to. She has to be held accountable for her own actions. Unfortunetly, she is out to blame everyone else.

You are a working man, trying to make a living and to support a family. You really must put that first. The other "drama" will fade and you will be able to continue much like it was before she came along.

I am so sorry you have had to put up with that. You are such a warm and caring person, it is sad to hear of what you had been going through recently. I know you have been so busy and not able to come and talk it out with us. Now I know why, cause you were so busy trying to comfort and help (more than the normal person should expect) and was getting no where, except someone to keep wanting more and more from the lending care person.

What I really hope for you, is that you can continue to "spring clean" and rid yourself of that whole ordeal. She is out of there and you are in much better shape to perform to the standards of your company now and to the pride of yourself.

I am proud of you for taking a stand and getting it out. That part feels great and forget about the rest of the drama, you are not responsible for her innadequecies.

Hug