I have stayed away for awhile trying to get ahold upon myself. I have 2 beautiful healthly daughters trying my every patience. Their birthdays are within a month apart, now! My whole life revolves around them.

I am quiet and reading all your posts. Just silent, don't know what to say. I think the last time I responded was with David's collegue.

I need reprieve. I need help. There is no one who can wait upon me. My family is much too far away. I just need a release of all this anguish. I don't want my kids to hear it.

I am desperate. The life I lived is gone. It will never be like that again. I think about it every moment of my day. FAMILY. That's what it was and all I lived for. That break in time is forever infinite.

I can't seem to break out of this moment. Anti-depressants or not, there is no life without FAMILY.

I love all you "new posters" and grieve with you. I am just needing my "silent time".

Miss you Alfee.