[dreambeliever128]

I am from the TOS and RSD forum. I was on the old braintalk from 98 on until I came to this one near the beginning.

I won't even go into my medical history. Too much, too long and too long going on.

I've delt with suicdial tendencies ever since childhood. I have major depression, PTSD, Panic attacks and anxiety attacks, and other phobias. I don't leave the house much. My life exist of Drs. and my family coming over.

I have a daughter, Susan, and 2 Grandson's, Dustin and Devin. They keep me going. I also have a great son-in-law and 2 great step-kids, along with a wonderful PCP who is also my friend for the last 16+ years. I lost my husband of 34+ years in Nov. of last year so this has been the hardest time I have ever went through.

I have a VNS in me that is doing nothing for depression so far. It has been in since April. It's giving me a lot of medical issues from being in also.

As far as suicidal thoughts, they are always there and I guess always will be. I am in councelling. Have been for over 8 years. That helps keep me going.

I wanted to introduce myself to all of you. My worst medical problems are the RSD, MS, Fibro, Interstital Cystitis, and of course the depression. All of the others fall along the wayside until one of them rear their ugly heads.

I can relate to a lot of you and what you are living with.

Ada

I also wanted to say that I am a Coloradoian that was born and raised in Ky.

[Alffe]

Hi Ada....I'm so happy to read your intro. *grin

Have you had a chance to read Pters wise words at the top of the forum?

We all learned so much from him...he too was suicidal most of his life and fought that dark beast..he also won those battles..dying of old age several years ago. He was my mentor and I miss his wise counsel but managed to learn the lessons so on my darkest days I remember to redirect those thoughts.

I am on the other side of the survivor coin...we lost our son to suicide in January of 1990 and it almost killed our family but we have survived it and now I hang around here trying to convince other people not to kill themselves because of what is does to those left behind. And I love people and don't mind saying so. I also think it gives meaning to our sons' life..if someone can be helped in this forum.

[Addy]

Hi Ada
It always seems weird to say "welcome" to a Suicide Survivor forum... but for what its worth, it is well intentioned.
As a seasoned Braintalk member - I know you know this:
You've found a safe haven.

I'm so sorry you're suffering.
I'm here in this forum because I am a survivor. I have had suicidal thoughts but not acted on them. I am bipolar and medicated. For the most part, the depression is in remission because I made some huge life changes.
I have lost close relatives to suicide.

And must say goodbye for now as I'm rusing thru this... take care and we'll talk soon


Addy

[Alffe]

Ada is such a perfect example of a survivor that I had to bump this thread up. (((Ada))) And thank you Ada for the courage you have shown a lot of us.