I wish I lived closer to some place where I could take art classes. That was one thing I always wanted to do when I retired. I want to believe that things will get easier with time. I really needed all this encouragement and appreciate it so much. i know it is bound to get better. Thanks.

F2U,just scrolled down your post and saw you're on Beta. are you still on it?
I know it causes depression in some, but for me it just gave me an overwhelming shadow, a feeling of opression, a sense of hopelessness. Everything was far too much effort. Not depressed, just oppressed. A long tunnel that sneakily got slightly narrower every day and stopped me enjoying life.

Just seems possible that your initial post shows similar signs of 'Beta-induced-sadness'. I would hate anyone else to suffer like I did for no reason other than taking an odd drug. I truly believe it went toxic for me- I'm left with the marks.

I am still taking Beta. So I don't know if it's the cause. He did put me on Effexor because I did become very sad and did a lot of crying... that was around the same time I had started taking the Beta. I know longer do a lot of crying, just occassionally. I really hadn't thought about the way I feel being related to the shots....hmmm.... It's hard for me to know what is caused by medications and what is called by the ms or life changes due to ms. Wow...definitely food for thought!

It wasn't in my head but every 44 hours, I knew my Beta was wearing off. I could actually feel human again. Lighter, more able...
Then bam. New shot, new heaviness, new hopelessness (too many sss's there) .

Went to neuro with descriptions of feelings and he said 'Well that's not the MS' To which I replied 'thanks for nothing. What is it then?'

Not once did either of us question if it was the Beta. I knew I wasn't depressed because of it, but I was depressed BY it.

Since I started Beta the same week I was diagnosed, I assumed it was the MS slowing me down when all the time, now I believe, it was the Beta keeping me down.

Started to lift the DAY AFTER I stopped. Honestly. I felt it lift, and that's not psychological because I didn't EXPECT it to lift. I thought it was the MS the whole time.

I feel like I wasted a year of my life, literally wasting away, strength, mind and activity.

I felt the same way about Avonex....yuck poohy!!

Wow I would never have thought of the medicine making you feel that way, not sure why, just wouldn't have.

I do have to chime in here and say I know how you feel. I didn't work as long as any of you, only about three and a half years. But I was a waitress and felt like a big part of a small community because I got to keep in daily contact with so many people. I was only twenty when I had to stop working, but part of what has helped with me is that I have two young kids and a lot of family and friends that make sure I'm not just here all day every day by myself.

But I had two "friends" from high school who I had lost touch with until just shortly before my MS diagnosis. One I got back in touch with about eight months before and the other actually right after.

The one I had been in touch with for almost a year (whose kids called me Aunt Kristie) has not answered my calls, returned my calls, or called me literally since I told her I was diagnosed with MS. I called to wish her kids and her happy birthday. I called on holidays and I called sometimes just to say hi. I was pretty stubborn and tried for about a full year to keep contact with her but have finally given up. It hurt more than anything because when she got pregnant at 14 and had her baby at 15 I was the one friend who stood by her even though I had recently moved and lived an hour and a half away. I was the only person who came to her baby shower. She even lived with me for about six months when I moved back into her area. Her daughter had called me Aunt since she could talk. I made sure that little girl had everything she needed for as long as I was around. I miss the kids more than anything.

The other "friend" I was reluctant to tell about my MS for fear of the same thing happening. But when it kind of worked it's way into a conversation I finally told her. She wasn't quite as bad since if I saw she was on facebook and started a conversation with her she will talk to me. But I finally got tired of being the only one trying and quit starting the conversations. Since then I have not heard from her.

It's painful to loose those people in your life but it just shows you who your true friends are, and I have to say that living in a small community I am blessed to have some truly great friends. Well my husband being a Fireman helps too, that's a whole department of people who are like family.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Kristie

The loss of friends and the lonliness at times seems to be one thing we all have in common. I'm sorry for your losses and glad for you new friends and your strong community that you have to lean on. That part is great.

It is good to hear from you and hope to get to know more of you. Hope you have comfort each day in your life.

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and more HUGSSSSSSSS!!

I feel for you F2y . I'm in the same miserable boat as you and many others here. I just cannot seem to adjust to my new situation at all . I don't even come to NT much anymore. I seem to withdraw more all of the time.

I wish I had some answers, solutions, energy to do something about my isolation. ARGH! I'm getting on my own nerves!

((((((Joelle))))))