dejibo,

I wish you well in your sanity quest. No Christmas for the ungratefuls should be much easier on you too.

gmi

I was reading an article today about crucifixion and resurrection...that we need to die to the pain of relationships, etc so that we can be reborn anew.

On your birthday, you were resurrecting yourself. IMHO, it's time to let go of the pain of your family's dysfunction and rejection. The rejection is the part that is wounding you...but it seems they've been doing this for many years.

I barely talk to my older sis...she was all drama and dysfunction, and still is, but can't wonder why her life turned out as it did (actually she has admitted all was her fault-dumb decisions-but still likes to play victim).

I used to get tied up in knots when I talked to her. No more. I love her; she's the only person who has known me my whole life. But I also love myself enough to not get pulled into her drama.

So, Dej, you must just gently let go, and let the situation drift away from your arms...you are loved...and you are more valuable to those who know you than you probably know. You don't need to be brought down by "family"...and as they say, a family isn't who you grow up with...it's those who nurture you, help you be the best you can be. They don't sound like family to me. Just let them go....

Dej, have a great BBQ and relax and enjoy.

We can't pick our relatives, but we can pick our friends.

Thank goodness!!

with each passing hour I feel better. I was blind sided this morn, and completely unpreppared to be so wounded. With each hour that passes, so does my hurt, my anger, and my amazement.

You are all right. With my rebirth on my birthday I made the conscious choice to be a better person to ME! That includes not allowing others to treat me badly. Now, if he wasnt my brother, I would have stopped talking to him decades ago. My new school of thought is that I owe him ...NOTHING! He has been weird, mean, cruel and quick to be hurtful my entire life. I dont deserve it, and I dont have to put up with it. Just because he is blood, doesnt give him rights.

So, anyone looking for a new sister? Im up for adoption.

I could always use another sister, Dej! I just wish you didn't live so far away......just like my "sister" sister!

I get to be the big sister, calling tabs on Dej.

You betcha! Just so you know, I have a zero drama tolerance!

My brothers and I get along great. It's our mom that can't get past drama...it's new as she has aged. My family drama is with my parents remaining siblings. I cut them all off from my business...period.

Me too! With family and friends! It makes this tricky life so much easier.

In my family we also instituted a "5 year rule" meaning at holiday dinners we don't sit around and talk about any stupid stuff someone did when they were 10 years old...if it didn't happen in the last 5 years leave it alone.

FWIW I do plenty of stupid stuff each year so there isn't any shortage of conversation, lol.

I'll be a little sister!

I came from great dysfunction myself and I realized long ago that the saying about friends being the family we choose for ourselves is so true. So, I choose all of you guys.