You are right, Holly. This is the home where you don't have to worry about a Sis or Bro, one upping you or questioning the honesty of your illness.

Just get me a beer or a carafe of wine and some cheese, please..

dear dej,

i think you have great insights into your family and yourself.
i think you will be a lot healthier and a lot happier releasing toxic people from your life.

make a good life with your own family (dh) and friends.
i just moved to FL to be with friends and they are like my sisters.

everyone has given you such great advice. the hurt will pass. you deserve to be here and to have a loving and peaceful life.

The support you have given me has helped alot. I needed new brothers and sisters.

This is the same brother that normally when you call him, you have to be on your guard constantly to not offend him or send him running. he is fickled, weird, and ...GONE! buh bye now.

I am surrounded by loving friends, a wonderful husband, awesome children, and I have more friends, and adopted family than I know what to do with. I am loved, I am respected, and I am wanted, just not by those who either gave birth to me, or were raised with me. anyone with blood ties tends to be a jerk. No wonder I ran when I was 15.

Sorry kid, just me? I choose my friends and relatives, I don`t tolerate close proximity to idiots.

of course, now it gets deeper.

My older brother contacted my younger brother after he found out how upset the whole thing made me, and realized I had cut off all contact with the family. He demanded that the other brother apologize NOW! he protested about his own hurt...older brother said he didnt care, that I was his sister, and he would apologize or risk older brothers rath.

my brother tried to befriend me on facebook. I waited a full two days and finally he left me a message on face book to explain that he was still ticked off, but would get over it. Did I want peace? I waited another 24 hours and then responded that

I am tired of shedding tears over this family, and if he was going to drag more sadness into my circle, please GO AWAY! If he was going to be a decent, caring and thoughtful person in my circle I would allow the contact, but at the first sniff of anger, or drama I was cutting contact and not looking back,no matter how many "forgive me" emails come my way. and yes,I was going to blame HIM. He promised to stop being a jerk, and I accepted his friendship and apology, but I am on high alert.

He behaved. He didnt try again to dredge up whatever insult he felt in the past, nor did he try to open any other cans. I explained I am too sick, too old, too wise, and too mature to put up with baby games, and if he went back to old ways, I was gone gone gone.

So, I got an apology, and an act of contrition, but I am on high alert. Lets bet how long it takes for him to want to be dramatic again. I swear, I will pull up stakes in a heart beat. I have had enough of this crew.

hang in there dej.
if you do what you say they will get the message. but, don't give in or they'll know you don't mean it and con't their behaviors.

btw, doesn't that sound like some show that was on tv? dr phil maybe?????

my family is too twisted for color TV. Since responding to my brother about only allowing him back into the circle IF he was willing to behave, he has not responded. fine by me.

Sorry, Dej.

~ Faith

Sure.

~ Faith

aww, you guys rock.

I did hear back from brother, who wanted to rehash all sorts of garbage, and I stepped forward and said NO! STOP! if this is what you want, go away. He was stunned. I told him that each and every time he tries to contact me about garbage, I will refuse him. After so many attempts, he will be locked out. I asked him to repeat to me that he understood. He sent 5 letters before I got the one that simply said "I understand, I accept the terms of your agreement. im sorry." now...lets see how long it lasts.