[Dejibo]

got a frantic email from my neice last night when I got home from a very long day. Im quite tired, walking drunk, really off balance, and should have gone to bed, but I decided to contact her.

She is moving from her hovel, nasty hole (which she rents from her step mother) that is just down the hill, on the same property as her daddy/brother/step moms house. Step mom is a peice of work. My neice has decided to move in with granny (my mom) and help her. my mother has played the pitiful card, and the no one loves me card, and so on. Neice is not the most mentally stable girl, and I really feel bad for her, and going to live with my mom is a HUGE mistake. She was freaking out, and begged me to call. Which I did.

She had tried to change her mind about going to grandmas house, but step mom took less than 24 hours to re rent the trailor she is living in, and is now extremely demanding and militant about how clean it shall be before she leaves it. My neice is a lazy slob (love you steph, but UGH!) the place is beyond nasty! step mom is coming on Monday and Tuesday to remove her own nasty belongings from the place, and demanding that the rest of my neices stuff be GONE! while insisting that its "all hands on deck" to help her clean out this place that was a hovel when my neice moved in, but she managed to make it 100x worse. So, tons of panic going on. NEice decides to leave Sunday, and not look back, which leaves step mom holding the bag of damages, and a badly broken home after allowing my neice to live their rent free for 3 years.

Neice is having panic attacks, and as I am calming her down, I hear in the background "TELL HER I WONT MY STUFF! SHE IS A THEIF AND A LIAR!" I said "who is that?! She said "Granny." OMG! The venom spewing off of my mom from across the room at me. I was no longer able to continue to speak to my neice whom I do love, and worry about with the amount of interuptions from my mom.

I told my neice that while I love her greatly, I am NOT willing to put up with such BS. That if Granny cannot go sit quietly while I am on the phone with her, then I wont be able to call her again. She went and talked for a minute to the old woman and came back to the phone. The same stuff happens. I made my excuses and told the girl how much I love her, but I am NOT willing to subject myself to such tactics. Sorry, but if you want to email me or skype me in your private room we can talk, but past that...no no no! im not willing.

Then I went on to have nightmares. UGH! I so rarely have nightmares, and I know it was because I was already stressed and then threw more stress on it with a long car ride to a MIL b/d party followed by a long ride home, and then a verbal assualt via a screaming fest in the background while I tried to comfort my niece.

So...That is the last tie to my family. My sister has tired 60 times to call in the last few days and I am not picking up the phone. I got her on mistake once when the CID said "incoming call" she was quite drunk/high and I hung up on her.

It opened old wounds, if only for a few moments. I have since closed the door, and dont care. I have had enough of bad treatment and she can go spray venom on someone else. As for me...I want better things in my life.

Thanks for letting me vent. Im upset that I cant keep contact with my neice who so baldy needs the support.

[SallyC]

(((((Dej)))))

[Debbie D]

Family...ugh.

I haven't called my sis for weeks...she was in the hospital. I promised I would call (she NEVER calls me, even when I tell her I'll call her right back so she won't get the large bill).
I tried several times to call her but the calls weren't going through...stupid me, I should have tried calling the hospital's main number, but my cognitive brain doesn't think at that high level
Then I started with IBS and this tingling/chest/headache thingy, so I kind of forgot about my sis...which of course makes it worse when I call now, since it's been well over a month...

We have had a rocky relationship over the years...been in and out of contact...and when I talk to her, it's all about all the things that are wrong in her life both medically and personally...it drains me physically and mentally...so I think my mind conventiently forgets to call her until 11 at night, when it's too late.

I do love her, and we don't have the poisonous problems you and your fam have, Dej...for your own health you are doing exactly what you must do. Stay away from them in every way...

[legzzalot]

Well Deb if it makes you feel any better, I was asked if I was going to my niece's baby shower in Nov. They scheduled it the weekend of my birthday, of course I wasn't invited. But hey, whatever. I found out when my cousin contacted me to ask if I was going.

I have a feeling it will be at my father's house, so even if I was invited, I would not be there. I am so disappointed in my niece, in the last year she has thrown her entire life away.

SO I will sit over here in my little corner of the world and enjoy the extended family I have and say to H$## with the rest of them.

[Dejibo]

When I am over tired, or not feeling well, I am quickly overwhelmed with emotion, of BS and then I allow myself to become trapped in it, and wiggle in it, and blah blah blah.


I have slept ALL day! I have a minor ear infection, and that explains so much in my world. Sheesh! just what I needed. I feel sooooo much better after some sleep. I am back to not caring what they think, what they say or how they act.

Thanks for the hugs.

[Jodylee]

Dej. I'm glad you got some much needed rest. It's amazing how they can suck you right back in, isn't it? I'm glad it only lasted for a little while. I hope you can find a way to help your niece while having NO CONTACT with the rest of them.

[Dejibo]

That is where I am stuck. I really want to b a support for her but they are really big energy suckers and will quickly try to drag me back under.

I got her a camera for her computer so maybe we skype. Even if she just smacks on the ear phones and talks to me from her room. its a free phone call for her, and would allow her to be able to get at least some sane avice in an insane home.

I may end up having to cut ties with her, so ...that will hurt, but for my own sanity...

Thanks for the hugs. I went back to bed and slept all night! I guess I needed some sleep. My back is screaming now, but I have my level head back.

[SallyC]

Originally Posted by Dejibo

I may end up having to cut ties with her, so ...that will hurt, but for my own sanity....

Since she is moving in with your Mother, I would think that you must cut ties with her. Otherwise your Mother will use her to get to you.. And that is detrimental to both of you.