Since I'm no longer in limbo (unless 50 lesions show up ) I wanted to update you all on my ongoing story...

I started PT for my back last week, and I'm amazed at how quickly my back is healing after YEARS of pain. These simple exercises to strenghen my stomach muscles has made a world of difference. I'm waking up in the morning and practically jumping out of bed. I still have some stiffness...but I have high hopes of controlling this terrible affliction I've suffered for so long. I've not taken any pain killers in two weeks now!

I start my Therapy today to get to the bottom, or shall I say, the possibility that I've made myself ill by holding in bad memories. I'm very nervouse and even scared. I hate being judged. Someone said to me that people don't like this kind of lable, and she is absolutely right. Why is it that we can accept a physical illness but avoid the possibility that it's pent up stress and sorrow?

Of course I won't be sharing all my deep stories that come out in therapy, but I will let you all know if this doctor leans toword some kind of conversion disorder. I did take that test the other day that someone posted under psyccentral, and I scored a ZERO on the "Dissociation" portion....I found that interesting. I was definately depressed and anxious....

Anyway....here I go......

That's great news about the PT. How wonderful for you.

And doing some emotional therapy I'm sure will help you understand yourself better and be healthier there too.

Wow, a new you for 2008!

Good luck, Jeannie! Therapists aren't there to judge you. If you feel like he or she is, look for another one. Or make sure you aren't being paranoid LOL. For some reason, there is such a stigma with any illness that is mentally related. *sigh* I think it's just "old school" thinking. It's also because people can't physically see your illness so they think you're making it up; how irritating.

I'm so glad the PT is working! It must feel fantastic to not have to take pain meds!

Let me know how it goes. Also, let me know a good time to get in contact with you. Just pm me.

Who knows, maybe it's pent up stress and memories that causes THIS illness too.

My mom was schizophrenic, FULL BLOWN, and she went to her grave insisting her problem was "neurological". When I started having problems, I loathed to tell anyone in case they thought I had schizophrenia too. It wasn't getting the label that concerned me though, it was the REAL torment that often comes with that particular illness.

Years after I was dx, I remember going through some very familiar symptoms (that I'd heard about all my life); the smelling things that weren't there, feeling things with no obvious signs of trauma (burning, itching, freezing), etc. There are many symptoms my mom and I didn't share though too, and in the end, she absolutely did have schizophrenia (and I didn't). Thank GOD; I can't imagine anything worse then that combination!

But, what's the difference anyway? It's not like any of us has control over what is happening to us. In fact, if anything, many PwMS probably have more control then someone in her position did. At least we can do things to perhaps better our situation (exercise, eat properly, communicate with others, etc), whereas she was a victim of "another mind". Dreadful situation, really.

I am not suggesting you or anyone else has a mental illness, but no doubt our mind can play tricks on our body. Sometimes is a temporary problem, and other times it's life-long struggle. If we have to live with something, personally I'd much rather it be a temporary "mental" issue, then a permanent "physical" one (at least if it is as bad as MS can be).

Remember too, that sometimes the emotional turmoil is the first clear sign of MS too . . .

Good luck on your therapy. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself, with or without MS.

Cherie

I had a very interesting conversation with my Abnormal Psych professor about this very subject a few years ago. I brought up the fact that many sx of schizophrenia seem very neurological in nature and we spent a long time discussing the fact that so little is understood about that disorder and that there are many who believe it is actually a neurological illness. He felt that it would only be a matter of time before it gets reclassified.

There are definitely several "mental illnesses" that have no emotional disfunction component to them. They are pretty clearly brain problems, but the added psych sx seemed to make it easier to classify them as psych disorders.

A pretty common sx of MS is depression. A less common psych sx in MS is a bipolar manifestation that many neuros don't recognize. I don't know this for a fact, but I would suspect that depression wasn't recognized as a real sx of MS many years ago. If the mood disturbances in MS were the most prevalent aspect of this disease and other more physical sx were rarer, who knows???

OK, I totally hijacked this thread. The mention of schizophrenia got my attention.

Getting back to the original post, I applaud you for your courage in exploring this possibility. I don't know what to wish for you. I don't wish MS or another neurological illness on you, but I also don't hope it is some repressed trauma, either. I guess I just hope for you to have healing and peace.

Actually, I like it when my threads get hijacked

See what my signature says?

Exploration is my current main objective

Back from the Therapist. I thought it went very well...and he wants to work with my PCP and Neuro as he's not convinced (yet) that it's not MS.

Nothing I can do at this point but LMAO!!!

Oh woes me!!!

One of the things that we always said in limbo check ins was to not think it had to be ms - it could be anything. Right? Well it serves all of us to check in any direction that may yield answers - even if they are answers we may not care to hear.

You are brave, looking in places a lot of folks shy away from. Why this is a scary issue, who knows. But it is. Ms is scary too, so are a lot of things. But good for you, turning over every stone.



I saw a psych just to see if some or all of my problems were *in my head* too. Best thing I ever did. My head was pretty messed up at that time and I didn't hold any of that back. He assured me I had a right to be afraid, depressed (about what was going on) mad, etc. And he did not think my sx were due to my mental state at all.

(I kind of figured that. I'd been in a normal state of mind until I got sick)

If anything, he said, my mental state had been made far worse by my (then) drs who were blowing off what I was telling them and not taking me seriously.

His validation made a world of diff for me.

It helped me gain a better attitude, which in turn helped calm down my sx. Stress is bad for any health problems, and my emotional upset, egged on by my docs was not helping anyhthing.


The way I thought about my pain was not helping either, and adopting a different mentality toward that further enhanced my quality of life. I still have pain, it gets worse all the time, but I don't wrap emotions around it now.

Good luck with all of this. With the right DR, it's a good idea for about anybody.

good luck green....glad it went well...funny huh....
the dr says he wonders if it still may be MS....

I giggle..as each neuro I have seen has said NO NOT MS>...due to a clear MRI.....then

all my sidekick drs...neuropysch..says my memory and attention testing is way low...and that she wonders if part of a neurological disease...asks if I had been tested for MS...
then when seen Opthamologist....and after talking about my sxs...Have you been tested for MS.....
when I seen the ENT for vertigo and balance issues....the first visit..he was asking me about all my sxs real thorough...then says Sarah have you been tested for MS.....

heck even when preggo...went to a PT for back pain from working and pregnancy....new patient..so filled out patient info....she started reading thru it...asking me so much about my tingling, numbness, balance, cogfog memory issues, and I say and giggle...Well I am great NOW...cause I am preggo....

she then looked up suddenly...and asked...you guessed it...have you been tested for MS>....

hehehehe that is my limbo story...hugssss and good luck no matter what it is....glad you going to PT...and also getting to talk thru emotions...heck without sxs...we all can use a therapist..to talk thru feelings...I bet it would help us all wonderfully......hugssss and sorry went on and on...just when you said you went to therapist, and that they wondered about MS still hehe...thought of my side kick drs....hugsssss,sarah