You know what I think of Kelly . . . you must have had a wonderful relationship with your hubby to feel that having someone full-time would be a desirable thing.

I envy what you've had though . . .

I have not found it hard to meet good men, even with having this disease and being mostly anti-social . . . but I guess I am just not the marrying kind. I can't imagine ever being that comfortable to make a lifelong commitment, probably because I made that "mistake" before.

Have you thought about interacting on a "social" site on the internet. I met many men on various sites, including my current b/f (from Georgia). I met him on BOLT, which was a music exchange site. We talked for many months until he finally came here to meet me a few years ago . . . and he'd marry me tomorrow if I would give in.

I've also met some really nice men with MS on the various forums . . .

Of course you have to be very careful about checking people out, and getting to know them well before you agree to meet . . . but I know a lot of people this has worked out for.

Cherie

Hey kitty, see post on what are you thinking. i am thinking of trading a very ambitious hard working man for a nintendo wii. You can have him.

Wow I didn't realize this was an option. Hmmmm maybe I'll send mine to Kitty also. He even scoops cat boxes.

Let's start a collection. We'll see how many men we can round up for kitty!

Too funny!!

Cherie

I've read your post several times, Kitty, and deleted an equal number of posts. As someone mentioned, you brought up something that most of us think about at some point, whether currently "alone" or not.

I used to think my mother was being morbid when she'd say, "Well, if anything happened to your father, I think I would..." I remember thinking, "Ugh, don't TALK about such things!"

Now I think she was wise. She wasn't borrowing trouble or becoming obsessed. She was considering a possible reality, and assuring herself that she would have options, as difficult as they might be to consider.

Losing Bob has been a huge fear for me even BEFORE I got sick. Now I realize how much I depend on him in many ways and sometimes I find myself facing "what if". He'll be 73 in the spring; he has COPD, mild coronary artery disease, and he's already had cancer once. What if he's not here, or simply unable to "take care" if I need serious tending to.

Sometimes I do what Mom did, sketch out a back-up plan in my mind, aware that life has a way of blind-siding us no matter how many safety nets we organize under ourselves.

I have to keep reminding myself that the future isn't in my hands, and I trust God to provide, even though I really, really want Him to lay out the plan for me ahead of time. He says, "I'll take care of you", and I pester, "Yeah, but how? How are You gonna do it?"

Once something happens (like losing a spouse, or having a chronic disease, or both) we're already on Plan B. I know that with your attitude, you can turn Plan B (or C or D or...) into a good life, no matter what happens. God will make a way.

I give all the singles so much credit. I am not sure I could do it with as much style or grace as what I have seen displayed here.

I have a friend who has been married for a while. she hasnt been the healthiest of creatures, but her husband makes it so much easier. He went to the dump and dropped off the weeks trash, and...dropped dead! He had been having chest pain for about a week, but didnt want to burden his poor wife with worry. Went to the MD who said his cholesterol was soaring, but he was in decent shape. When the MD asked about any pains, or worries, HE LIED! He said "nope, Im good doc." and because of his age, the EKG and work up was skipped. He mentioned it to a couple of buddies who encouraged him to spill it to his wife, but he never did.

I have seen so many widows in this little town who not only survive, but thrive, and have found a way to lean on each other, and take care of each other. I know that I would not be able to do as well, or survive and thrive with the same grace, and style of these women.

God Bless you, and keep you for you are strong women indeed.

Thank you, B2Y & Dejibo......I appreciate that. I'm trying not to stress about it because, as you said, God will take care of me. Like my Dad always told me.....life is what happens while you're making plans.

I'm really not a "worrier" as it may seem from my post. I'm more of a "ponderer".....I think about "what-ifs" but really don't get to whipped up about it because it is what it is and worrying doesn't do anything but make MS worse.

And.....strange as it may seem.....I'm not sure I could adapt to a person in my life full-time. I mean, when I was dating I would be thrilled to go out on Saturday afternoon/night but I wanted (and needed) Sunday to myself. I'd gotten used to being by myself and I kinda liked it. Of course, I was working then, too, so time alone (really alone) was scarce. I'm not sure I could adapt to someone elses way of doing things.....messin' up my routine. And.....I'm not sure if anyone could stand me full-time either!

Kelly, to me, this is not strange at all. I get this 100%!

no wonder we get along so well ... a girl knows what she likes ...

PEACE AND QUIET .... MINE MINE MINE MINE!! LOL