Tonight we had a bit of excitement.

My parents and I had gone out for dinner. As we were leaving to come home, my cellphone rang. It was the security company that monitors our alarm system. Calling to inform me that our front door sensor had been tripped, and the alarm was going off, and they'd dispatched the local police/sheriff's office.

We'd never had our alarm get tripped before. We were only a few miles away, so I drove a little bit faster to get home.

We got home, turned off the alarm, called the security company back, and then checked the front door. It seemed fine at the time. So, we asked them to cancel the police. (good thing we werent far away)

We started to wonder what had happened. Our caller i.d. had my dad's little sister's cellphone number on it, about 5 minutes before the alarm going off.

So, we thought that she might have knocked on the door a bit too hard.

A little later, we were sitting with my other aunt (dad's brother's widow) in the front yard, and telling her that we thought my dad's sister must have accidentally triggered the alarm. She said around the same time our alarm was triggered, she'd gotten a call (she lives across the street) from dad's sister, demanding to know who's car was in her driveway. She had a friend visiting. She'd told my dad's sister she was welcome to come over to visit, and my dad's sister started to scream in the phone a few swear words, and just being a big <bad word> to her.

While my niceaunt was on the phone, her visitor in the backyard could hear my other aunt SCREAMING across the street, and she could hear the screaming coming from the phone and was wondering what was going on since she could hear the screaming in stereo. So they walked into the front yard just in time to see my dad's sister hauling butt in her car down the street in a big hurry.

So, I gave our doorknob a little closer look. It's really really really wiggly now. It still works, but it's a lot looser on the door than it had been. Like someone had been yanking really hard on it and banging the door around.

I figure that she heard the alarm start blasting away, panicked and waddled back to her car to peel out down the street. (I didnt know an automatic car could leave burn out skid marks on pavement) My dad's sister-in-law was only able to get to the front just in time to see dad's sister whipping around the corner.

Funny thing is, when we got home and turned off the alarm, my dad called his sister back, and asked if she'd been there. She immediately replied (a little nervously sounding) "yes, BUT I NEVER got out of my car!!!!! Stayed in my car the ENTIRE TIME!!!!". (I could hear her thru the phone from ten feet away)

She has seemed to have a few mental issues for a few years, and I'm guessing that since the anniversary of my grandmother's death was yesterday, she must be having a few more mental issues than usual. But, to go to the extent of wiggling our doorknob hard enough to set off the burglar alarm is a bit much.

It's a good thing that I know how to install a doorknob. (I like playing with locks) I think I'll go shopping for a new one tomorrow before we go out for my b-day dinner.

At least we know our alarm works.

I wonder if we need to gently suggest to my dad's sister that she might need to see someone for her...anger issues.

She used to be a bit high strung, but ten years ago tomorrow (May 24th) she had a serious car accident and had a concussion and a few broken bones. I wonder if she's got some long term issues from the traumatic brain injury (similar to my mom's problem's from a head injury. At least my mom doesnt damage other people's property. My mom has anger issues, but she seems to stick to throwing her own things across the room when she's mad)

My aunt was unconscious for probably a day after that accident ten years ago, and in and out for a couple of days after that. I bet that she knocked the part of the brain that controls rage a bit loose.

Should I send her the bill for the new doorknob, or should we just stay quiet about the damage to the knob and walk on eggshells around her the next time she visits??

It is kind of funny to imagine the look of panic on her face when the alarm started blasting. (I think we'll be setting the alarm when we leave a lot more often now that we know it works really well)

Erin, maybe your Aunt read your siggy line: "Do unto others, then run!"

I wouldn't say a word. But next time she visits, ask her what she thinks of your new door knob!

I'll probably say something like "for some reason our doorknob fell off the other day. Wonder how that happened?"

I got the quote from a computer solitaire game called "Burning Monkey Solitaire 3"

I was just upstairs talking to my mom, and I went to check the door to make sure it's locked. (we're a bit obsessive about security here at home since we lost our BIG dog 3yrs ago) and I was checking the inside doorknob. It's wiggly too, and the door itself seems to be a bit loose. I was pushing against it from the inside and looking at the magnet sensor at the top of the door. It looks a little loose there too.

She must not have been only rattling the doorknob to death, I get the feeling that she was trying to break the door down.

I was talking to my niceaunt some more, and she said that when she saw the whackoaunt at the cemetery yesterday while she was cleaning off my uncle's grave and putting flowers out, she saw whackoaunt and my dad's other sister there. They were both a bit nasty to her there...for some reason they hate my uncle's widow...dont know why, she and my uncle were always the one they'd go to if they needed help.

Well, actually, I do know why they hate her. They hate my dad too, but barely contain that when they're around him. It's all about money. (great-uncle died 9yrs ago...there was inheritance involved and my niceaunt was the executor. My paternal grandma died 5yrs ago yesterday, and my dad was the executor. Whackoaunt was sneaky and convinced my dad to let her be the executor...she stole money from my dad and aunt. Which is interesting, if they'd asked, my dad and aunt would have given the money to his sisters. They didnt have to be sneaky about it)

She had flowers for my grandparents graves and had tried to give them to my other aunts to put on the grave since that's the grave they were visiting first, and whackoaunt had gone totally nutjob on her in the cemetery. I would bet she woke up the rest of the relatives that reside in the cemetery with the screaming.

My niceaunt decided to keep the flowers/plants that she'd bought for my grandparents grave. She planted them in her backyard flowerpots so that she could enjoy them.

Interesting thing about whackoaunt at the cemetery. She showed up there with all of the silk flowers that niceaunt had been putting on all of the relatives graves for the past few years. Niceaunt thought that they'd been stolen (well, they were...by whackoaunt!) She'd been needlessly blaming the theft on other people visiting the cemetery for the past few years.

I'll have to go to the cemetery on monday and see where they put all the silk flowers.

At least she knows that rattling your door will only result in the cops being called, whether you are home or not. She is now on full alert that You set your alarm! This should serve as notice to her that you are not unprotected, and she will not be allowed to get away with such sillyness.

I would replace the doorknob and NOT charge her for it. The next time she visits, I would point out the shiney new knob and explain that it was broken in her rage to open the door, and while she is family, and you understand that she felt her desire to enter your home was dire, if it happens again, she will be sent a bill for the replacement, and since most police and fire departments are now charging folks for false alarms or alarms that result in family members being found at fault on scene, she will be sent the bills for the emergency response that is created by such panic. She clearly knows your cell phone numbers, and should think to CALL FIRST! before creating property damage. You are happy to come home and discuss whatever earth shattering event that could cause her to try to rip your door off the hinges, but AFTER a phone call by her, not a call from the alarm company. Everyone gets a ONE free pass, and she just used hers.

Its so hard to deal with family members that behave in bizarre ways. I have a family tree thats full of nuts. You are doing great by having an alarm, and having boundaries that you stick to. She wont see you as an easy target in the future.

She's always been a bit weird, but has mostly centered her weirdness on my aunt that lives across the street. For the last few years that my grandma was alive (crazy aunt is the one that took care of grandma...I think the stress of that is one of the things that might have sent her over the edge, but she wouldnt let anyone help with grandma)

whackoaunt would call up my other aunt constantly. Especially if no one was home. She'd call a few hundred times an hour and would sometimes leave so many messages on the answering machine that the machine got totally filled. Most of the messages were angry and were "where the $%^& are you??" messages. Scary stalker type behavior. Anyone calls your house a few hundred times in an hour is not normal. That's stalking! (she's never done that to us....not sure why she's done it to my dad's sister-in-law)

She really seems to enjoy dropping in on relatives houses during holidays and demanding that they give her food to take home. (she usually hasnt been invited to the gathering) She hasnt done that to my parents or I yet, but she does do it to my other aunt a lot. Just swoops in, demands the food, might walk around and make nasty comments to the people at the gathering, and then she leaves.

My dad and I started to invite the crazy one to go out to dinner with us on certain holidays, just so she'll behave and not bother the rest of the families on their holidays. We took her out for Thanksgiving and for Easter, and she actually manages to behave and act like a decent human being there. My dad figures it's good to try to have a good relationship with his sister, and as long as she behaves, he'll continue to invite her.

We already know that Christmas is one of the verboeten (forbbiden) holidays to invite her out. She gets really depressed and flips out...ends up on the doorstep of my cousin and tries hard to ruin their christmas. At least she doesnt drink...she does all of her craziness sober. I'd hate to see her intoxicated. She looks like she'd be a really mean drunk. I dont think I've ever seen her drink alcohol.

I guess I'll go get dressed and go doorknob shopping with my dad and fix the doorknob for him before we go do birthday stuff for me. (going out for steak!!! Mmm!) Good thing that's the one household project that I know how to do. He gets to help because he can actually get the screws tightened on the knob better than I can.

Are you sure we are not related? Your family sounds an awful lot like my own.

I found that the nuts in the tree dont bug me too much because I am FIRM, and wont tolerate the BS that they throw at each other. My aunt will call and beg pain pills from my mother, and then give them to her drug addicted grandson. My sister wouldnt spit on me if I was on fire, and I would be just as happy for her to leave me alone, as I could never repay the bill.

I find it best to just be upfront, firm, fair, and consistant that this WONT be tolerated. This is your ONE and final warning. Next time, she gets the bill for the doorknob, and you will allow the cops to haul her off for B&E, property damage, and public nuisance. Once they see you are willing to allow them to be arrested, they back off and bug someone else in a hurry.

Hang in there.

well, she came over this afternoon, while my parents and I were sitting outside in the front yard with my boyfriend.

She was sane at the time, from what I could tell. She didnt mention being here yesterday (the day before? it's after 3am on monday here)

She sat there, perfectly calm and like a normal human. I think it's because my boyfriend was there. She sat there for a few hours, was pleasant and talked nicely to all of us. Then she left.

I'm wondering if she's a manic depressive that rapid cycles thru moods. She's just a complete *bad word* to my aunt that lives across the street.