My flare finally "broke" a bit today. But it is so hard to go through this.

I guess when we talk about stretching we should remember to mention that if hypermobility is an issue- not to overstretch those joints.
Because with hypermobility it's easy to go beyond the "normal" range and stretch too much and too far.

to express how I feel right now. I met with the lawyer this morning for another phone conference. The other side says they will soon be making an offer, before our next conference on Nov 20. However, I already know this offer is not sincere, not even in reality-land. They have decided that with a bit more psych counseling I can return to work, and the offer wiill reflect that!?!

I KNEW the voc rehab interview last week was merely a way for them to justify this. I KNEW this was coming. He didn't ask about ANY of my restrictions. He didn't want to hear about how my pain and depression affect me. He didn't answer me when I asked if my Drs' opinions that I should not not return to work would be taken into account.

I told him I can't do laundry, most household tasks, grocery shopping and my husband does the cooking. I microwave or put together sandwiches. I told him my sleep is so disordered I don't fall asleep til 4-4:30 a.m., then sleep til noon, or get up earlier then take a long nap late in the day. I told him my legs and feet bother me and I can't be on them more than 30-45 mins tops.

But according to the lawyer, the voc rehab guy says I can teach still teach preschool, or I could work in children's retail since I had a children's consignment shop with a partner when my youngest was a baby. (She had ear infection one right after another for the first three winters and kept us both up at night, leaving me too TIRED to teach 3 and 4-yr olds during the day). I sold out my share when I got pregnant with daughter #2, returned to teaching once I got her off to kindergarten.

I would LOVE to teach again. But teaching young kids is a very hands-on, demanding job. You can't sit still. You don't get to sit much in retail either, and I can't exactly see how running a cash register all day ISN'T going to make me worse. How am I going to do my lesson plans - writing kills me, and I'm supposed to limit my computer time. I can lift a full gall jug of milk and pour it, barely - that's my max. How am I going to lift a 35-40 lb kid?

Seems like we're just wasting time, they don't want to make a real offer, so it will mean going to trial in February which I was hoping to avoid.

Just doesn't feel like this is ever gonna end.

Beth
What else can I say except I'm sorry this is happening. You've been through so much and come so far just to be disappointed yet again.
I do know what you meant by it seeming like this is never going to end.
It's been 6 years and I haven't even started talking to the other side; we haven't even gone to court, not even once in over 6 years.
each of us is different & in a different situation. the ups and downs are so hard on us. Like I always say, never give up.....
Hope

Beth,

I know they make ridiculous statements about what we COULD do.

Those words still bug me - because it's basically calling me a liar, in the face of losing my career that I fought tooth and nail to create.

MUST LET IT FALL OFF OUR BACKS...otherwise it adds to our stress...

Now, back to settlement. It's a game. PTG. Play the game. Let your attorney do it, let your instincts guide you in the process. They lob s low one over. Your attorney volleys one back...PTG Beth...it WILL end sweet heart.

Ok - here's the most important part. You have money involved here, and in my "money" cases I always had investigators following potential fraud actors (and yes, I am sorry, sometimes there were fraudulent filers but they were nothing like us people, they had side businesses, fake injuries, friendly doctors, ok?) anyways, you may be MICRO MICRO MICRO peeped at right now outside of your home. Keep that in mind, when you are laughing, but in pain, reach down to pick up that pesky piece of trash off of your neighbor's lawn, cuz you're a good neighbor...it can be used against you later!

In good faith sometimes we will do things in pain which later on are used against us. So just remember to adhere to your restrictions. Also, do not be overly afraid. The kind of stuff that would irk a judge was saying one person was 100% disabled and in a wheel chair, and then there is film of him setting of five $$$ taco stands alone in L.A., hefting big racks of produce...and the guy never disclosed it, which made it a big problem for him. It could have been handled properly...but major stuff like that, major illegal - just isn't here for us TOSers, but I still warn all of us about the DUMB stuff like going to casinos. For some reason, sitting on a casino stool for 10 hours seems to be a common blunder for work comp folks, which then wreaks havoc with what the doctors said we couldn't do...

So I'll pray Beth that for you, the legal process will come to an end as it sounds like you've had enough. Whether it be divorce, bankruptcy, or work comp, everyone does get to a point where they say, "uncle" - on both sides, believe it or not.

You've been a champ, girl. God will protect you and your family, I believe that. I guess this should have been a PM, but too late now.

Beth - I'm sorry that they're throwing this crap back at you again. It'd be nice if they would "get it."

Today I.... had an interesting day. the rainy drizzle of the last week seems to be leaving, which is good. More job searching ahead. WOOOOOOO.
burning out on that, but i need a flippin job.

hope all in SoCal are doing ok, and I wish I/we could be there next week, but I don't think that'll happen.

Tam, and all,

Thanks. I do, somehow, still believe I will in the end see a settlement amount that is acceptable. I almost said fair, but I don't think there is any amount that is "fair" for what has happened to me. Or to any of us. No amount of money can make any of us whole again, can it? I'd much rather, like all of you I know, have my former health and life back than ANY settlement.

The TIME that they are wasting, no STEALING, is the worst aspect. Time I can't get back, while my kids are growing and growing and soon one will leave the nest. We were never "wealthy", never spent extravagantly, but we used to take family vacations every summer, and spend spring break in Chicago or St Louis. We played ball, took picnics to the parks, my oldest daughter and I became shopping buddies. We went to museums, art fairs, renaissaince faires, plays. The girls took art classes, dance classes, acted in children's theater. They had friends over, and spent the night at their friends.

Most of this - not all, but a lot - came to a screeching halt when I got injured. Both for $$ reasons, but also because physically I couldn't handle it. Too much pain, way too much. The first couple years the only traveling that was done was flying to Denver and PA for Drs, treatments and surgery.
I'm managing some better thanks to the SCS. I can drive locally but try to keep the trips into town (30 mins away) to once or twice a week. Shopping still can only handle 30-45 mins or pay dearly later on and next day. Oldest is 16 now but is in no hurry to get her practice driving hours done that she needs before taking Driver's license test.

I try to stress to her the importance of keeping her grades high, class ranking, but not make her feel like she has this huge burden on her shoulders.
We always thought we'd be able to send our girls to college, probably with some financing, hopefully with some grants or aid, but we figured on being able to do it. Now Kelly's in her junior year, and it's all so unclear what is going to happen.

My consoling thought on going to trial over damages is this: Dr Togut is going to testify!!! ANd he will tell it like it is, no holds barred, that they are WRONG in saying I could return to work. He will be my champion in the courtroom, I feel sure of this, and hopefully that will be the END of this farce!

Today I....
had a pretty good day! It was about 55 or 60 out, and sunny for the first time in a week. Spent 2 hours w/ my daughter outside. Washed the car, then grilled steaks and drank a (ONE) beer on the patio.
Hopefully I didn't overdo it. Tomorrow will tell.

All in SoCal - I hope that they get fires put out, and the winds move the cruddy smoky air OUT.

Cyn and Tam- I hope both of you are feeling better.........

Beth My case did not go to trial but Dr. Togut was going to testify and I know he will do a great job for you. Good luck and hang in there!

So Cal Gals Hope you are all ok and haven't suffered personally with any damage from the fires. Have a great time this week with your reunion.

Dabbo The weather here in NJ is great today. Yesterday was rain. I'm going to try to do some outside work. Hoping to get a picture of all 4 kids for Christmas card. I always wait too long and they get goofy. Make a goofy face, push each other, laugh, whatever to annoy me. Getting ready to sell 15 year old son if anyone is interested. He thinks he is hot sh** lately and I could smack him but he's bigger than me. All our football games were cancelled this weekend due to rain so kind of a weird weekend.

Hope everyone is well. Linda

Beth I am sorry for all that you going thru and everyone else that is having a hard week...I hope this week ahead is better.

Dabbo .. Hi - hope things are going good.

I am having an alright day . The rain stopped so my hands are feeling a bit better.. been battling a right sided headache all day so far tho.. (got meds tho ! meds for everything !)

Hope everyone has a great week ahead and for all in So. Cal.. Hope things are well.