Has anybody had difficulties over-reacting to situations, especially police or other authorities?

Many with PCS/mTBI tend to over-react to stressful situations. This can be a serious problem when law enforcement are involved. Here in the Boise area, the police have had some close calls with PCS/mTBI that could have had lethal consequences.

I have had problems with the shouting and aggressiveness of the agents at the TSA security checkpoints at the airports.

Has anybody had any experience with this?

Let's discuss this.

I will be talking with a local police chief from the perspective of a PCS/mTBI survivor to help them understand why things get out of control so fast.

Is anybody aware of any training programs to help police and other authorities better understand these issues?

Any thoughts or suggestions of issues that should be addressed?

they beat me down on the corner
no questions asked
when they were looking for me
interrogated every person they passed
got more tickets than lottery
targeting me admist all this beutiful debauchery
protected when they serve me a warrent
how could it warrent illegal search and seizure
ever since the first beating Ive had amnesia
too much harrasment they gotta be stalking me
judge can i get a restraining order from the army in blue
using me as a scapegoat cause these phonies know Im true
politicos and ceos got em in pockets
While bush drops bombs they plant evidence in projects
or send men away for plants
when a companie can buldoze rainforest
police academy competes see who hits the hardest
commish commits men on trumped up charges
whos got the most money to pay the lawyers
tough situations in time
could jail be an escape from 9-5 stress
when surviving in the streets can be a brutal mess
my scrawny self wouldnt last two weeks in the pen
maybye i can go solitary confinement or post up in the
pysch ward
im standing in the courtroom
judge got a hammer and cops got cuffs
they both are gonna feel like a sword
and i swore they swored an oath before they
fabricated lies against me
falsified troppers testimonys
in the states war against me
why was I locked up ten times
I just cant resist resiting
disturbing their peace
just for preaching my peace

Hi Mark -

Yes I tend to get nasty as well. I can not stand anybody talking loudly. I nagged my husband about getting a hearing aid as I got fed up with asking him to turn down the volume.

I usually try to walk away whenever I can as I know that I can not trust myself.

When I have been taken by ambulance to A&E at our hospital concussed etc my husband has told me that I am rude and obnoxious. About all I recall is losing my patience because I have to answer the same questions with different people about 5 times - in between vomiting and wanting to bash my head against the wall to get rid of the pain.

With me I believe that loud noise of any description drains my energy and when directed at me it is even worse.

Lynlee

I moved this here from Mark's earlier thread on hormones:

As our injuries are largely invisible, people tend not to cut us any slack when we're struggling. They just look at us like we're jerks or adult "spoiled brats."

When I get frustrated, I can mutter at length over the object of my frustration. When this happens in public, I get dirty looks and helpful comments like "control yourself" and "grow up" - even after I say sorry and explain that I'm brain injured and I'm doing the best that I can. If I was in a wheelchair folks might help me with the problem (be it an item too far back on a shelf or a tricky turnstile) and say how it's too bad that the store or whatever isn't more aware of the needs of the disabled.

I've even been bumped with a cart for taking too long picking out a can of coffee. I don't know about the rest of you, but I can shop if I go to the store with a specific list. However, if they don't have the item I want, it takes me ages to decide on a substitute. Clearly, I must look confused because instead of just saying "excuse me," the occasional clod has to stare at me at length, hit my legs with his cart and call me a "freak" (sometimes in front of my young child).

I was never a person who wanted to draw attention to themselves in public. When these things happen, I get so depressed that I just want to curl up and die. It's not easy keeping any sense of self-worth when you're trying to navigate the world with the cognitive and speech deficits inflicted by a brain injury.

Telling people you're brain injured doesn't seem to help much. When they hear "brain" as opposed to "spine" or "leg," they assume our "choice" to act abnormally is a failure of will or character. I suppose it's the same sort of insensitivity faced by our friends dealing with "mental" health issues.

I like your idea of carrying a card explaining the brain injury. Maybe that way people wouldn’t think it was an “excuse” I’d just dreamed up to cover my aberrant behavior? I’d like to hear other’s coping strategies, too?

Cheers

I find that if I define my current struggle more specifically, people tend to respond better.

I have to memorized lines like:

I have a visual processing disorder due to a brain injury.

and

I have an auditory processing disorder due to a brain injury.

Simply asking for help or courtesy due to a brain injury is of little use. People do not understand what your brain injury is if you don't look injured.

They do usually understand "Auditory processing disorder."

Hockey,

You could try saying something like: "I have a visual processing disorder due to a brain injury that makes it difficult for me to sort through the many labels" or something like that.

You could even say something like, " I have dyslexia and have a hard time reading labels." If it causes the other person to soften their attitude, it is worth the little lie. Our brains do often behave like someone with dyslexia.

We need to figure out what people will understand best. Dyslexia is probably better understood that processing disorder.

I find it helps to have these responses memorized as we tend to pop if we try to respond 'on the spot.'

The note works for authority figures. They will take time to read it. The memorized lines work for most of the rest. Those who don't respond with courtesy I consider to be damaged in a worse way than me. They choose to be inconsiderate. All I am asking for is some understanding.

I try to never let someone's inconsiderate attitude affect me personally. There are too many jerks in this world. If I let them control my personal feelings, I would be toast.

I used to find myself staring at labels of something like baby food with no need to be looking at baby food. I have come to believe it is the result of becoming visually over-stimulated as I look for something. When my brain overloads, I have a sort of 'absence seizure' and get stuck looking at the last thing that caused the over-stimulation.

This can happen while I am working on a repair project around the house. As I try to think through a solution, I over-tax my brain and get stuck staring. My wife used to think I was brain storming until I finally confessed that I was brain freezing.

I hope I never have this brain freeze when confronted by an authority figure.

Regarding the jerk with the cart bump attitude, you could always save for a last resort something like, "Do that again and I will have you charged with battery." That will work better coming from a woman that from a man.

Sometimes, the jerks need to hear something like, "I have PMS and I carry a gun." I've seen this on a bumper sticker. LOL

Mark, and everybody, by this do you mean that your mind in just totally blank? Like feels like an empty space and your eyes are looking ahead and seeing nothing?

On the odd occasion when I have tried to explain about brain injury people have just looked at me disbelievingly - like you can speak well, look ok so what's your problem. And then sometimes if I tell somebody about it I feel like by talking about it I am wallowing in self pity - groan.................... and sometimes i think if I ignore it, it will all go away and I will be back to normal. But now is normal. I have just had a bout of hoping it would all go away which is why I have been absent for a while.

By the way - Dianne Stoler - I read her book and it simply made me feel like I was in adequate and maybe I wasn't all that bad and why wasn't I able to do as she is.

A book that I have just read that is fabulous is "Just a Bang on the Head" by Rosie Belton. The book contains a section which has been written by members of her family giving their view points.

Lynlee

Yeah, I get the brain freeze thing. It happens when I’m over-stimulated and I just sort of retreat into a blank trance. I enjoy Christmas, but I have to stay out of the stores because of all the crowds, extra piped music and flashing lights.

A bigger reason I sometimes find myself standing and staring is indecision. I have so much frontal lobe damage that I find it difficult to make my mind up about even trivial things. Hence, if my brand of coffee isn’t on the shelf, I can’t pick a substitute. We all make a million little decisions every day (what to have for lunch, is it cold enough for gloves, etc…) so this can be very debilitating.

I have come up with some coping strategies. For example, it used to take me forever to get dressed because I couldn’t decide what to wear. Now I alternate between two outfits, wearing the clean one. It’s boring and may seem odd to others, but it gets my day off to a much faster start.

I know what Lucy is saying about trying to ignore the injury. There is no more sympathy for me at home: my husband just wants me to suck it up and move on. I’d love to.

I go through phases where I think it can’t be that bad and I can just will myself past it. This denial only ever makes me physically ill from over-exertion and depressed when I get slapped in the face by the cognitive deficits. Yesterday I poured tea in the wrong end of a mug, forgot my address, put the toaster in the dryer, forgot it was my Dad’s birthday and had a melt down over a missing piece of Lego. I’m sorry but pre-morbid me would never have down any of that. Unfortunately, she died is a car accident. What’s left is what everybody, including me, has got to learn to accept.

I was a super high achiever and people haven’t been able to adjust their expectations. I just sometimes wish my family and friends would realize how hard I’m working to get through each day without exploding or making a million mental errors. Even things they see as mundane are physically and mentally exhausting for me. Everything I do, takes everything I’ve got.

Hockey and Lucy,

have you printed out Dr Glen Johnson's TBI Survival Guide? It is the best. Go to www.tbiguide.com. Have your friends and family read it.

Lucy, when you try to explain to others, maybe you can compare your condition to walking around and not knowing when the lights are going to go out, but knowing they will.

An explanation I have used is from when I was still driving. I would stop at a stop sign where the crossing traffic did not have to stop. I'd look left and see where the cars were. I would then look right and see the cars. But, I had already forgotten where the cars to the left are. I would try to look back and forth buy turning my head from side to side very quickly. This only made things worse.

Once, I was driving my wife's stick shift car. In was in a yield-right turn lanes. I needed to check the oncoming traffic, work the brake, the clutch, and gas pedal. This overwhelmed me. Too many simultaneous efforts. I had to wait til there were not any cars at all.

Or I explain that I do not have any visual memory. I know there is a wall and table behind me, but I cannot visualize them.

Or maybe you can compare it to juggling balls. I can only juggle one ball, not two and not even try to think about juggling three balls.

This forum and another I follow are the only places I can appear normal. I can type out a comment and reread it and edit it so that the final result look normal. I think this is why I tend to be so long winded, or long in words.

We are more help to each other than the best doctors.

thanks mark for kicking off this thread
I only come with two speeds now and stugle to keep it under, control police over react to people . a well placed knee to the temple or throte is not un heard of I now carry a card from the day center I attend it reads

I AM A SURVIVOR OF
A BRAIN INJURY
I may have problems with
my memory , speech
or actions
your help and patience
would be appreciated
headway ect

if police or others are shown or find it, on you it can only help

the police came to our day centre. well two motor bike cops and said they needed to know more ,and have more training . we also have a comunity officer pops in now and then brain injuried people are also vunerable to abuse
of there finaces and inapropreate behavoir

hi hockey every thing is harder and sometimes I can,t be bothered to try to appeare normal, but I too have kids and that makes me not give in it hurts to think they would be ashamed of there dad

shopping is hard ,with the lights noise people

I lost it big time in my local super market when a guy bumped my wife with a trolley I started shouting at him and wanted to rip his head off, then started having a go at the manager

also I cant reconize people I know or remember there names out of context some times

FRUSTRATING
but I have to laugh or I would go mad