I'm over 8 months out now...The last month I've been doing more things than I've been able to do (am handling my daily routine at home taking care of all my animals -still not the same level of involvement pre-accident, but the very basics). I had to cut back on work to acheive this and find a balance between working and taking care of home life and of course the ever present: healing.

I think I tricked myself into believing I was fine now...ha! I think I have just gotten used to this slower life now and made the mistake of going about business as usual (well, what used to be usual) Now, this week I am staring off and brain is overstimulated again, background noises just go away completely, tv is good again. The reminder that...yes, despite what some people think, I did suffer head trauma! For some reason I still want to believe I am making this all up. (I DID get kicked in the head by a horse though!)

Part of the problem may be that my memory is like swiss cheese and I forget easily things within a week or heck even in a day or a few minutes. So I literally forget my protocol for healing sometimes.

The hardest part of all this is wanting SO bad to FINALLY be over this. It feels like such a loooong road, but in the big scheme of things, I think I am improving...or just accepting that this is life now, can't tell which. I cannot handle life full time yet.

People I work with and my bf forget about my healing still. (don't blame them though, I look fine, so what's there to remind them until I have a meltdown).

The overwhelm just comes out of nowhere, so it's hard to see it coming. I know the drill by now...cut back, rest, know that perhaps next month I'll make another leap forward (one can hope!) Just when I think I'm getting somewhere...the smackdown hits! The book Brainlash helps me alot, but today I felt like posting, maybe someone can relate!

When do you know it's time to decide: step up the testing with more Drs. (i think neuropsych testing would be next) or just wait for more time to heal and see how it goes?

I take it back, the hardest part is processing this experience and being aware of how I feel, my limitations, and mostly how to navigate all of this!!