[Delaine]

10/10/2011 was a day that changed my life. I tripped over a broom someone placed across a door to hold it open. I landed on my head. The accident resulted in a triple fusion in my neck and a fusion of my lower back that was fractured at l5-s1. The pain from these surgeries continue but my mind, God, my mind is the most difficult to handle. I am soooooo sad. So tired of not being "me". So tired of crying. So tired of feeling dependent.
I was a very successful insurance lady. Now I forget what I'm doing, loose things, kinda live in a daze. Tell me it will get better or what to do. You feel so alone.
What should I expect from the medical community. I feel like I have just been left to flounder. I went to a neurologist and he had me go through tests and announced I didn't have brain damage. If that's true then why am I like this? He said its just a concussion. Just a concussion? What does that mean?
I just found this site. Maybe I can learn what to do. Grasping!

[Lightrail11]

Hi Delaine, welcome to NeuroTalk, sorry to hear of your continuing challenges.

A couple of thoughts. First of all, as you will frequently hear on this forum, every brain injury is different and they all heal on their own schedule. In the “old days” it was thought that healing only occurs in the first few months (many doctors still believe this to be true). In fact it becoming more widely recognized that healing can continue for years, although often at a slower pace.

Regarding the medical community, neurologists typically look at “damage” differently than a clinical neuropsychologist would. A clinical neuropsychologist looks more at the brain-behavior relationship rather than physical damage per se. Since you are having problems with memory, focus/attention, and sounds like emotional processing, a neuropsychological assessment may be helpful. A NPA can help identify specific deficit areas and then develop specific therapies to address these areas. This would not be cheap but many insurance plans may cover this.

http://www.div40.org/pdf/NeuropscyhBroch2.pdf

You didn’t mention your domestic environment. Support is important. If you have a spouse/partner/significant other or family close by share what you are going through with them. Additionally, there may be support groups in your area. The Brain Injury Association of America has chapters in many states, and there may be a support group near you.

http://www.biausa.org/


Best to you on this recovery journey.

[Delaine]

Thanks for the response. Obviously having a moment. I have a loving family but it is so new to be dependent and like I am now. I really didn't know what kind of doctor to seek. Much of the year has been spent addressing the physical injury. The mental issues, though obvious to those close, have taken a back seat to the physical. But for me, the mental is torture. I was one of those others depended on, not the reverse. I'm a much better giver. I will check into those things you mentioned. God bless.

[Lightrail11]

Originally Posted by Delaine

I was one of those others depended on, not the reverse. I'm a much better giver. I will check into those things you mentioned. God bless.

One of the things I find to be of most value in these forums is how we learn and grow from our collective experience.

When I was early in recovery I had to learn how to rely on others more. I was always the one to do the driving, manage the finances, etc. When I was unable to do these things my wife took over more and more of the day to day "stuff" we all manage and deal with. It was valuable to her to learn the financial managment stuff, and it was valuable to me to learn that I wasn't the only one that was able to do that "stuff"... it taught me it is OK to be more dependant on others. Our relationship has grown stronger through that experience. I'm glad you have family support. It may be worthwhile for them also to attend a TBI suport group if there is one in your area.

Wishing you continued progress in your recovery journey.

[peacheysncream]

Dear Delaine,

What a change for you, and how traumatic!
It is so hard to accept change. As you said you were "a successful insurance lady". I am hearing a lot of emotion behind the fact that you were something, and that you are now something different. I believe this to be the hardest part of recovery - acceptance.

I suppose without a time scale it is very hard to accept who you have become and easy to resign yourself to being hopeless.

Well, your accident sounds awful, horrendous and the pain! I cannot imagine what you have been through and what you are now coping with.

The hope comes from you deciding what you will realistically be able to eventually achieve. Not necessarily what you want to achieve, because that may not be possible.

Do what you are doing, ie researching the best doctors for your situation. Once you find the right ones, you will I am sure be given some clues as to how to improve. It may be exercises, diet, nutrients, drugs. These will all help.

For now you may find it beneficial to write down what you have done each day, because it will help you see how far you have come since the accident and your stint in hospital. Also as you read it back in a week or a month you will see in black and white improvements you are and would like to make.

Take care, keep in touch, do not become complacent but try and accept your new set of circumstances.

[Theta Z]

Welcome, Delaine,

You've found a right and good place here on NT for support, PCS guidance, perhaps helpful suggestions, a place to 'vent', and a lot of very good, experienced persons who genuinely comprehend what you're dealing with --- when most doctors simply do not.

I empathize with your continued suffering and your 'loss of self' as a successful insurance professional, as a 'Giver' upon whom others depended, and the difficulty of coping with mind simply as it is. I do hope that you are allowing your family to be supportive and yourself to be genuinely taking it easy and resting as recommended.

Meanwhile we're all here for you and encouraging you. It does get better, yes.
It just doesn't happen in any predictable timeframe and never "as soon" as we think/hope/want it to arrive, none too soon!

Best regards,

Theta