[rjbillsfan2013]

Hello,

i find i cannot rest/relax no matter what i do, i havent napped or slept more then 3/4 hours since my most recent concussion in august, i am in constant pain and distress. i take melatonin try to be on the same schedule, recently been given ambien.

last night i took ambien, rolled around maybe an hour or two of sleep, woke up and took another, probably not a good idea but im desperate for rest and then maybe got another 2 hours and just rolled around til like eleven.

i woke up feeling like **** like i always do but worse, and i cant rest during the day my constant headache and ear ringing and because all i think about is if this doesn't go away ill have to kill myself eventually. i cant even believe im saying that but i think about it all the time because it doesnt feel like i will get better.

i find no comfort at all for anysecond of the day.

Has anyone initially been severely uncormfortable/in pain and unable to rest and through the months gotten better?

i cant get off the internet because its the only thing that can distract my mind from my constant pain.

i dont even care about cognitive problems or anything i just want to hear that i can become comfortable in my own skin eventually or else i fear i cant do this.

idk where else to turn, this is my only outlet for hope and come back to it everyday its all i can do.

the thing that is eating me up is i havent had one concussion, where everyone says ull be fine. im afraid i got a couple close together and will suffer for life or and the thought that keeps poopin up is if im not better in a year ill end up shooting myself, i dont mean to think that its just a vision in my head.

i need to get past this so i can rest and heal but it is impossible to relax with ringing and pain and everything else

sorry for venting and positve responses only please ( this is so hard i pray for strength

do the months become easier, please?

[Marina22]

I can assure you - it does get better. Healing is boring, and, sometimes you feel like life isn't worth living - THAT'S NOT TRUE and IT WILL GET BETTER. Believe me. I've done this several times.

I'll tell you my story when I feel better - can't be in front of the computer for too long, in the process of recovery now

However, I suggest you don't spend too much time online - you don't wanna overstimulate your brain. Find a hobby (I bake a lot, at least my kids are happy). There was time when I couldn't be in a standing up position or watch tv or read. My husband bought me some coloring pages and crayons, I did a lot of coloring. That really saved me from going insane (which happened anyway later, but that's a different concussion story).

So, don't panic. Find yourself something to do that is easy for the brain. Also try some valerian root for sleeping, it helps me. Good luck! And remember - it always gets better! Good luck!

[Mark in Idaho]

rj,

Please describe you pain and discomfort. There may be things you can do to deal with some of your discomfort.

I have to get very comfortable to be able to sleep. I had to learn to sleep on my back. I also need to have my pillow bunched up so my right cheek has contact and my head does not tilt too far to the right. I can not sleep with my head tilted to the left.

Have you had any pain diagnostics done to determine if there is a skeletal problem that needs to be addressed ?

I usually get my best sleep in a recliner. I curl up in a recliner with a comfy blanket and proper neck/head support and sleep like a baby. The feeling of rejuvenation after such a sleep is amazing. I don't have many of these good sleep sessions so when I do, I really notice the difference.

You are just starting to learn about your symptoms. Try to listen to your body and connect your sensations to surrounding events and issues. You will start to see patterns of cause and effect.

You do not need high tech medical skills to start to understand these cause and effect issues. Let go of your anxieties long enough to try to think back about these issues. You will eventually start to see the patterns.

[rjbillsfan2013]

Thank you so much for answering guys,

Marina id really like to hear your story when you are able, did you have vision and balance problems that improved?

Mark i believe it is anxiety that is keeping me up, all day my vision just is not right and my head feels like its in a different world, when i go for my slow/short walk with sunglasses and earplugs the world just feels so foreign and woobly/spacey to me and im scared ill be like this forever. This is without going out or overstimulating or being around people just being by myself.

It sounds dumb but how can i be a father some day if this stuff stays like this, i dont even want to leave the house cause its bad when im here doing nothing, worse when i do anything (

i had to take an ambien, which did nothing, then a xanax last night and i finally slept a lil, but i know it cant be good for me..

im gonna try valarian root Marina

god bless, im gonna try to get off the computer,

Rj

[poetrymom]

Hi there,

It sound like you have disassociation issues also known as brain fog when you go out for your walk. I had that early on, and I felt like I was in a movie or like I was watching my life from outside myself.

This too shall pass.

As for sleep, I found that I take a combination of liquid melatonin and liquid valerian, plus some other supplements and these really do help me relax.

I have had to learn not to freak out about my patchy sleep. Learning to deeply relax and of course stress reduction in my life had helped with sleep too.

But learning to deeply breath, and meditate when I lie down has helped me. Acupunture also helped me learn to relax deeply so when I find I wake in the middle of the night, I know how to really relax even if I don't fall back to sleep.

I've learned from this board that stress reduction is so important to getting to feeling better. I know how it is when I used to worry about my sleep (stress and anxiety) which then begot more poor sleep.

I just want to offer you some hope that your symptoms can abate with time, and life can restore itself too -- but be patient, listen to your body, and try to find good ways to relax.

All for now

poetrymom

[Mark in Idaho]

rj,

Have you been examined for your vision and balance issues ? If they can be treated, the sooner the better. Getting a consult with a neuro-ophthalmologist and a vestibular specialist would be worthwhile.

[rjbillsfan2013]

thank you poetry, trying to relax, plus just sent my mom for valerian,

Mark the first place i went to for pt was 30 mins away, by the time i drove there, ( lifted light weights like 2 lbs) a little arm cycle just to increase hr a little, and the guy gave me just an exercise looking at a card for vestibular.

I have since tried a closer pt where the guy said he specialized in vestibular, he gave me the same card exercise, but added balancing on one foot, one foot in front of the other.

i have since just been doing these exercises, plus a couple more gently at home because he didnt seem very focused on me, he was helping like 5 other people, also it was more exasperating driving there and bieng around people then bieng at home.

my mom got sent info about a neuro optomologist so i will schedule an apointment asap.

My biggest fear is that i have ruined my life because i didnt stop playing when i should of, i have felt the effects of concussion before, but this is a whole new world of extreme discomfort not just extra sleepy and hard to study, its a living nightmare Its breaking my heart because my parents keep suggesting nice things to do to get me out like even get a pumpkin or see a movie and its hurts my brain to exist let alone do things. i cant accept this is the new me. I will keep fighting for a year until i have to accept this is my life, but this is no way to live, if it gets even a lil better so that im not just reading a book to pretend to not be in hell i will be elated.

god bless,
sorry for being such a wining baby, i know no one knows for sure, but my parents are all ready growing tired of my agony, even though they are doing what they can.

Rj

[Mark in Idaho]

You need a vestibular specialist, not a PT who has some vestibular understandings. You need a serious diagnostic work up. A PT usually responds to the diagnostic and work-up of a specialist.

You need to dump the PT until you get a proper diagnosis. You may look for a Physiatrist (Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation) to help you. You can find them at Rehab Hospitals and Clinics.

You have your priorities out of order. You need to find out what is wrong before you even start to consider the future or mistakes of your past.

Yes, you did screw up big time by playing with a head injury. Likely, a trainer or coach should have stopped you from playing. The question is simple. Did you just mess up your future of playing contact sports or have you messed up your future for a full life ? I doubt you have an injury that will prevent you from living a full life. Your choices in the next year will determine how well you future will develop.

Your anxiety is your biggest enemy. You need counseling along with good diagnostics so you can settle down and allow your brain to heal.

My best to you.