So, I have some serious impulse issues lately. Ive been racking up debt and spending money up the wazoo online on junk. Most of which I throw or give away when it comes in the mail.

Im finally realizing why.

1. I feel "normal"/"it feels good" to but stuff.

2. I enjoy talking to the delivery person.

No clue why its just dawning on me now. Well, I know but its not pretty. Wife and I got into a huge fight over money tonight. And shes right. 100% in fact. But for some reason I had to fight it.

Anything you guys recommend?

This sounds really dumb but heres an example. Gas station is right down the street. I go everday to get a decaf coffee and a pack of smokes. I no longer smoke and havent in a while. But everyday I still go and get a pack of smokes. Heck I usually throw the unopended pack in the trash shen I get home. Tbh, it makes me feel like old me.

Sorry, I needed to get this off my chest. Theres other impulse controls I have issues with, but this is the big one. Heck, paying mortgage this month is going to be skin if teeth tight.

Wow, how could I do this with a 6 month old. Here comes the depression.

Your buying patterns are common to depression. Some people self-medicate with spending/buying. Like you said, you enjoy the interaction. Until you get this under control, I suggest you give up the credit/debit cards. Your wife can give you an allowance. Yuck, but it is needed.

I hope you are strong enough to give her this level of control. She needs you to do this for all three of your sakes.

Yup. We shredded my cards together and she hid my debit card.

I think you maybe right about the depression, because minus the smokes thing, the random buying goes in sprees. And they always seem to correlate with my really bad days.

Thanks again Mark. Im thinking about it now, I honestly cannot believe what ive done. Im so embarassed. Especially because ive always been very cheap.

Ugh

Try not to feel embarrassed. This problem is a symptom of your injury, not a flaw in your character. You should be proud that you acknowledged the issue and took practical steps to address it.

My man. I always payed cash for everything. Credit cards were for convenience only - and were payed off at the end of the month. I never bought stuff on a whim - and I seldom spent serious money on me. Prior to this the last thing I bought of significance besides our house was a home theater system back in 1999. I always purchased used cars and drove them into the ground.

I ended up developing crazy impulse control issues and created a massive burden for my family. I like you was horribly embarrised - and could not believe what I had done. THIS WAS NOT ME. The way I resolved it was to shred the cards like you and make sure all the $ was in my wife's account and I did not have access to it (she obviously took over paying the bills). She has the heart of a saint and I trust her implicitly.

I have come to terms with this and am no longer embarrassed - just bummed out at the havoc I brought upon us...but we got through it. Do not be embarrassed this is not you or who you are. This is a part of an unfortunate event that you are still recovering from. Hang tough my friend

Just having the courage to come on here and tell it speaks volumes about your character. It shows that you care about your wife and family more than anything. The impulse problem is not you. Being able to get this off your chest will lift a huge weight.

That is what I love about this place. I feel I can talk and ask questions and people actually understand then offer advice and support. When I try to talk to others about my problems, I get a blank stare and a look that implies I'm cuckoo!

Good luck Kev! You can get through this.