My mom used to always tell me that my mouth was in gear while my brain was in neutral (meaning, sometimes I said things I shouldn't have said).

Back then, I'd have to disagree with her- but it seems that since I bonked my head, I've been blurting out things that I wish I could take back IMMEDIATELY. It's really disturbing me and I'm starting to feel anxiety about social situations.

I have found myself telling people personal things that I'd never share about myself normally. Even though it may not seem the case here- I'm a VERY private person in real life. Now? Not so much.

None of it is offensive, just stupid stuff.

I was at our office holiday party after work yesterday and wanted to tape my mouth shut because of the dumb things I was bringing up. It's almost like I used to get when I'd had a glass too many of wine. I used to be a very good conversationalist. Now I bring up inappropriate things (again, not sexual or offensive- just inappropriate for the setting).

Is this something else related to PCS?

(Of course, now I'm blaming everything on PCS.. ha ha)

PS- did any of you watch Tin Man on the Sci Fi channel? It was a take off or Wizard of Oz. There was a character whose nickname was Glitch. He'd do stuff like we do- blank out.. forget what he was talking about, etc.

I've decided that's my new nickname.

I've also rambled on ... about many things, various topics including myself but as I'm not out & about interacting w/ others, its basically limited to my family
I also say many things I wish I hadn't. Most when I'm in much pain, very tired, when irritable or some other emotion spills over. Seems occuring more frequently. Had "episode" today where sadly my sick old father was the recipient. My apologies & explanations to him after still not alleveating sick feelings I have for spewing my frustrations & pain. He doesn't need or deserve that
I too blame TBI/PCS ... but feel I should have better control and not be spreading or dumping my stuff esp. to those who are close & care...


I did see [most] TinMan ; also felt connection to Glitch, who'd lost his brain.

To Lori , Its good to hear from someone from Seattle a little home sick these days. I down loaded the Mountain radio Station yesterday and it's good to hear what's happening up North, as that was my home for over 33 years.*Lori I've been dealing with this non sense with TBI/PCS for over 4 years now and it has been very painful for me to deal with and accept the personality changes that are caused by this disorder.I say stupid things can be very offensive have a 0 tolerance for non since and I get very very angerary over little things and I let people know right then and there that I'm upset and believe me I'm an Irishman so people know when I'M mad.This personality change of getting upset over non since is un acceptable to me and I'm having to learn ways to manage this in appropriate behavior. One of the first thing I did when I realized I was very very ill, it was at the 6 month mark that I realized I would not be putting my work boots on and returning to work or the person I was before I was injured my not be coming back anytime soon, was to set up a master mind group to help me work through this mental in sanity.*That support group consisted of 4 men and 1 women and these were men and women I could completely trust and share what was happening inside of me. People I have know for many years and that knew me and my character before I was hurt.We talked about this in another post. People with Tbi/PCS have to pretend to be someone they are not in our society in order to be functional or to appear to be functional.I'm currently putting together another master mind group for the treatment phase of this recovery process and I will recover from these injuries simplely because I believe I will. Lori I've always had Mentors, Spiritual Adviser, Master Mind Groups, and Real Friends in my life and many of these people are still apart of my life to.All I can do on this forum is share what is happening inside me and in my opinion sharing what going on inside is part of the healing process
.I know from my own experience that I can not recover from these mental injuries alone and that I have to try to help other people recover from this disorder if I'm going to recover
.Do you remember what you had for lunch last week I don't it kind of like that when we say stupid stuff
.
Thank you for sharing Lori, Thanks for being real, sometime it just hurtsTake Care. Jeffn*

HI, well guess what - my mother used to say exactly the same thing about me. Usually it was just me being frank or saying what others were actually thinking.

Now it is a different story and when I realise I literally cringe! And yes it is personal stuff and I change conversations and just blert something out that has come into my mind. Ugh!!

To cope with this I tend now not to say much of anything in a social situation where people don't know the real me - and then you end up with a new issue to deal with - and that is thinking "why didn't I say something?"

Recently when out I noticed somebody looking at me strangely and immediately I thought oh no what have I said - then I realised I had become very loud without realising - how embarrassing! I mentioned this to the psychologist and she simply said "so what does it matter?" The answer to that of course is - it does not matter - unless I am still the picky perfectionist - very hard changing the way you see yourself.

Previously I could always be relied upon in a social situation, I was the Corporate wife for goodness sake and could deal with anybody and anything.

Now I no longer trust myself and around new people I am nervous - Yes it is all PCS - I studied up on that as it was another case of am I going crazy?

There is something that I have become aware of- since joining this site and going to the psychologist I have been forced to think and admit that I am very different to the old me - and it is so, so very hard.

Jeffn you are very lucky with your groups. I have hunted around and been in touch with the local Brain Injury Assn and have not found others like me. Most are very very impaired and I simply do not have the energy starting anything up anew - my 3 hours at work simply take all my good time - I am being honest here- and not feeling sorry for myself or lazy - groan there I go again justifying myself - will I ever learn?????

Lynlee

I meant to mention above, that I was always doing the same thing with my mother and she died in April this year - the first Christmas without her with us. Last year just before Christmas she wasn't well and I brought her to stay with me. It was terrible as I couldn't leave her alone for any length of time and she wasn't rational as she hadn't been eating - and telling stories about that - whenever I saw her and spoke to her she would tell otherwise and all would appear to be otherwise. In the end the Doctor put her put in hospital and told me in no uncertain terms that I was not capable of looking after her - so in my screwed up way of thinking I thought I had failed my mother - groan! The Doctor even wrote a note and told me to put it on my fridge stating that I couldn't look after her. She did get better, went home and managed - (what a difference food makes to our reasoning) until she fell in April this year fracturing her pelvis and died suddenly. My mother in honesty had been amazing as (another story) my father died when he was 44 and I was 13. I don't think I was a alot of joy to be around for a few years.

I admit that when my mother complained about not being able to do things I would lose my temper on my bad days and say what do you think it is like not being able to do those things when you are only 45 , 46 what ever - she was in her 80s for goodness sake - you can't expect to be able to do things in your 80s. Then I woudl say at least you can stay awake all day! I don't know if she understood that I didn't mean to be so horrid or not and I also felt guilty that I couldn't do the things that I would have liked to have done and should have been doing to help her. All I knew was that I should have been able to help her - that is the way it is meant to be.

Unfortunately we were the same personality type - that was be perfect until you die basically. You know what - I feel better for having told this. I now understand that I was tired, I did have terrible head aches - and if I can understand why you reacted your way = why can't I be nice to myself and accept that I did my best under the circumstances???? And so have you - and you are doing your best under the circumstances. Good grief I hope I make sense.

Lynlee

TO Lynlee you may not have realized it, but this forum is apart of your master mind group.

Take Care Jeffn

I forgot to say - these things that come out of my mouth - it is like there is no control - it is somebody else saying these things and you can't get them back!

RE:manifestations of the changes that occur in brain after TBI.

We all have our stories and challenges...

LORI... thanks for addressing this & evoking sharing & dialogue

Jeff... you are indeed Blessed to have so many special people & this level of support in your life.
as I look back at past decade since TBI accident, many Big changes & losses--of my abilitys, job, home, "friends" & more..
I became primary Livein Caregiver for my terminally ill parents and socially isolated w/ little support or help , for myself or family.
(I"ve posted on this in forums previously; could get long & involved and off topic . Perhaps will start a new thread to address )
TBI /PCS issues can be hard to understand, even to those experiencing, but more & better than from those w/ "normal" brains... this [forum] is where i've found the most support...

Lucy/Lynnlee... I've also looked into Brain Injury support programs. Intially I was deemed too high functioning compared to most patients/clients served who are severely impaired. I did get into a state funded Brain Injury program; much offered -- like help in home, but has not yet materialized. (this more a problem w/ home health agencys contracted to provide those services . tho help is needed in home, it's become another thing requiring energy and another source of irritation.
I learned TBI program does have a monthly support group but w/ my other med problems, & transportation issues along w/ carer responsibilities, getting there is problem but perhaps if I get the help promised, such as respite care, give me (and my father) a break and allow me to go and at least check out group.

Since this thread/topic came up on a problematic & difficult day . I've been (re)searching again...

I checked out Fight or Flight website - shared by PCS McGee--stated most of this therapy done at home??

"Self Regulation"-- may be of interest- trauma & brain changes
http://slacombe.myshrink.ca/srtlong.html

an article on emotional aspects--ANGER & Depression -- from neuropsych TBI website (additional topics addressed that may be of interest) http://www.tbiguide.com/angerdepress.html

don't know if I'm making any sense. bad migraine all day now other neuro pain flaring so Can't sleep-again; know insomnia is a big factor in how I feel & act but not yet found help for this (addressed in another post & also in article on Sleep disorders at TBIguide.com site just mentioned)

the many & various affects & changes since TBi are hard-- to accept, understand, cope & live with... there must be more better ways??

this forum has been one of the best supports for me and again I thank all for the sharing & caring, but no one can live my life . that's my biggest challenge ...how-- to have best quality of life...

Yeah, you go in to see the guy and get your therapy recalibrated once every month or so, but the rest of the therapy is done at your house (it just involves staring at a light, having to go somewhere to do it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense).

Lynnlee...

while I was writing you posted reply. thanks for sharing more...You made So much sense! I really needed to get that support, validation & encouragement. Thanks so much for sharing your insights & experiences.

Perhaps should start another thread on these issues. Being a caregiver even in the best circumstances is challenge & stressful. Many healthy people get sick w/in first year of caregiving. I had just had series of major life changes/ issues & losses when I became primary caregiver for both parents in their home.
My mother died last year but this Xmas/holidays seem to be harder than first year w/out her. I know each day is difficult for my father. Wish I could do more... for him. feel badly that he's so affected by my problems. He's a sweetheart, so patient & tolerant, never complains, asks for little except love which he gives much.
I do feel ashamed & sad that I erupted w/ him. He's gone thru so much--w/ my mother, my self & his conditions-- he feels others pain & problems even more than his own. he's now wheelchair bound & dependent on others. He was always the one who took care of everyone & everything. I don't know how he did so much; wish I was more like him. perhaps I was before -- why my disabilities & dysfunction bother me so much --I feel I should be doing so much more & better... but we are still alike in many ways and that's good but it can become otherwise...esp. when we spend so much together in our rather isolated world trying to deal w/ our issues

I hope & pray for Better... for all...

thanks again for sharing...