i am feeling keyed up.

not in a good way either - it's close to an anxious feeling. somewhere between tense and jumpy.

also my head has started in again sucking in tunes and playing them over and over again, and i am having the inclination to tap/drum them with my fingers/hands/feet. it will be the same tune for 1-2 days then i will manage to get rid of it only by virtue of being replaced with something else. the latest is Kashmir by Led Zeppelin (a song i *love* and i hope this doesn't upset my appreciation of it ) it's most annoying when trying to sleep because obviously it's counter productive. but it doesn't happen just then. it is controllable, not unconscious, but it is unpleasant.

this was already going on before this morning's dose.

i hope this will subside. if it doesn't i will take some benzo. if i get too uncomfortable i might just take the odd dose to get me over the humps. maybe it would be better to do that than continue to feel uncomfortable. i don't know. my instinct says it's better to see allow my body/brain to adjust first.

~ waves ~

i feel worse and i am sick of this.

i took 1.25mg of lorazepam (half a tab).

that should suffice since i should no longer have benzo tolerance, but if i don't feel a lot better in 20 mins i am going to chase it with the other half tab.

hrmppphhh.

~ waves ~

I am sorry that you are so keyed up...do what ever is best for you.
can you distract your brain?
bizi

hi... unfortunately Bizi no... distracting doesn't work. i did manage to distract from one song using another, which promptly got stuck in there.... (but i had been getting REAAAALLLY sick of the first one because i hated it).

i ended up napping. i am really not used to lorazepam any more. i am having a cup of tea now. i hope that doesn't make me antsy all over again.

tonight i will start taking my long acting benzo. i will try using it just for a short time. maybe even every other day.

i need to feel ok.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
Can you skip a dose? Or a half day?

(I don't know about how Zoloft works or what size your pills come.)

M.

Hi Mari,

i have a few 50mg pills and lots of 100mg pills, both scored and divisible. i use half of each as my 25mg and 50mg doses. Zoloft is taken once a day.

i can skip or reduce the dose for a day if things are too icky, yes. for the moment, it would be preferable not to do that. these effects are pretty normal. they may or may not subside. if they don't i have to deal with them or throw meds at them, if i want the Zoloft to do its job.

in the past, i have only had these effects with higher doses, but i have always had one or more "downer" drugs on board:
- Tegretol
- Trileptal + long acting benzo
- Zyprexa + long acting benzo
- Seroquel + long acting benzo
- Depakote + long acting benzo + lorazepam as needed

this is the first time i have taken it solo.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,

I forgot about that.
You don't have anything on board to keep the Zoloft from being too activating.

You do have the benzo options available.
I'm glad about that.

I wonder if you have a higher tolerance for side effects than I do. . . . . not so much tolerance but more patience and more willingness to see them through . . .

I really hope that this is going to work for you --- and work soon.

M.

thanks Mari,

i hope it works too!

well other than having the snoozies, the lorazepam helped significantly - enough to make me comfortable.

i'll play it by ear as to when to start the long acting benzo. i may try to use it to help me shift my sleep back to night.

we'll see. one day at a time for now.

~ waves ~

I agree one day at a time.

Donna

well, i slept really well and partly during the night.

i tucked in about 3. i think i got to sleep around 4. i know it was not light yet. i slept solid until 10.

so far i feel better today than yesterday. of course i only just took the Zoloft (normally take it at 6).

i think the lorazepam helped a lot. that's probably why i got sleepy.

i am not going to take anything else for now. i want to see how things are when this dose peaks. i had a coffee yogurt but i am going to try not to have caffeine, or at least not coffee today. if i am too sleepy i will try tea or something. the caffeine in tea gets absorbed more slowly.

~ waves ~