What beach are you near Mari? I am near Tampa Bay. just curious as I love the beach too. cold here today, better for sitting around a camp fire. ginnie

Dear Bobby

not sure which post you mean, but it takes a week of full "upness" to be considered manic, unless there are psychotic sx. i was not even fully euphoric. if i get manic it is a lot higher than i was. i don't always talk about all the sx on the board. my concern was that i was very suddenly on the flip side of depression, and by a lot. however, the day after - which was yesterday - i was tamer and mood quality was low. later i think the confrontation with my dad contributed to a really bad mood and thoughts of death again today after he became passive aggressive and manipulative. anyway. this is a situation. this will pass.

mostly no, but here, yes. the "natural" night pattern i related referred to when i lived alone so privacy was no issue. living here, i do prefer the night because of the privacy also, but the "natural" tendency to invert night and day completely is thwarted, because daytime sleep is disturbed repeatedly by light and sounds. so if i go off the "civilized" night-sleep schedule my sleep ends up all over the map.

yuck. how can you stand news? i find it really upsetting. i stay away from it as much as possible. i only hear what my parents expose me to unwillingly, and i try to blot it out every way. recently it is horrible because there is important stuff going on, and they turn it on in the living room sometimes, which is not my space. and then, they talk about stuff real loud... so i get it indirectly anyway. i used to like CNN so i could get like the basic gist of anything major going on in a single 15 minute shot, and then not watch news for aeons again. i have always hated news but it has got worse and worse. occasionally something will happen that i will actively seek information about because it feels relevant to me. for instance the recent death of a motorcyclist was that way. i don't want to know about wars and natural disasters and the media keeps mercilessly shoving the same information down one's throat... even use the same footage here sometimes. ugh.

i don't see a problem with an early bedtime. i am a bit concerned that the CNN stuff is not good for you. they repeat information also. could you watch something else? what about a good movie every now and then?

this is excellent! crossword puzzles are great brain exercise. i am good with word games but i get frustrated with crosswords. i get most of the way and then lose patience.

love

~ waves ~ really tired today, even after coffee.

i didn't know it takes a full week before it is considered manic. All of a sudden you were in a very good mood. I am sorry you lost it. Was your father always the way he is now or is older age making him more difficult to get along with.
you are right about the news but i can't help myself. a lot of cnn is about politics and some about the economy. I dont like local news because it is more brutal.
Early this morning i was very angry. I usually don't allow myself to feel angry. It was awful.
Love
bobby

[I hate the news too. It makes me even more depressed. I also get angry at how things are. Right now I have on animal planet, better than the news any day. I still don't know if I am by polar. My pcp thinks so, those who live around me say no, but I have some wild mood swings. Hope you are doing OK today. ginnie

Dear Bobby,

I wonder what is going on with why the mornings are good and the nights are bad. I know that I hate the time near bed tim. The middle of the day if I am with my students I am usually (not always) fine.

That's good that your day gets better as it goes along. When you wake up I suppose you have something to look forward to.
Pudge is a sweet heart.

I admire people who can do crossword puzzles. I'm glad you have something you enjoy.

Regarding new: I never watch the local news. Well, I turn in at the top of the hour or about 20 mins after if we have a weather event. Sometimes hearing a local person explain weather is better than reading about weather on a web site.

M

I saw Dr M. yesterday and asked him about depression in the morning and he said it is more common. He didn't give a reason. today was the first day in ages i didn't wake up with dread. yesterday was a strange day. i had a early afternoon appt with him and didn't eat til i came home. then i got some licorice..a big bag. I have been craving it. then i ate two eggplant parmigiana
celentano...on friday i decided with my social worker that if i lost more weight i would become more active because i could walk further-sabotage?then i couldn't stay up for the republican debate. then i felt so rotten and had really wild dreams.
I guesss petting Pudge is something to look forward to. I never thought of it til you mentioned it.
bobby

What a relief to wake up to not having dread. Maybe this will continue?
Glad that you have pudge to love.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Bobby,
Do you watch the debates? There have been about a dozen so far with more to go. Sometimes I accidentally find a show like John Stewart or Morning Joe with highlights. I find watching debates can be really stressful.. . lots of tension in hearing the question, listening for the answer, . . . Then of course I get angry with the answers.

The Celentano brand of eggplant parmigiana is delicious. I think I might have had two as well.

You are probably not sabotaging yourself. One day here or there can still fit into your overall plan.

M

i try to watch the debates even though my only favorite is huntsman and he gets no attention. bachman sends me thru the roof. i don't know why i watch them. i guess i am just stupid.
i got on the scale this morning and i weighed two pounds more..........ugh. i have to watch it now. i had another bag of licorice. i just love licorice but i haven't had any sugar in so long. i have one more celentano eggplant and will try to wait to eat it. they are delicious aren't they?
bobby

where do you find them? in the frozen food section?
bizi