Thanks Bizi and Ginnie

I have decided to end the friendship. It will hurt less than the unanswered texts and messages and her excuses. The hoping and waiting is the worst. I rarely get into arguments. I won't tell her to F* off, but I will tell her that I love her, but it seems like she's already checked out of our friendship, how that makes me feel, and tell her to feel free to contact me when she's in a place where she can accept me as I am.

I'm concerned about isolation, but our friendship isn't helping with that anyway. I do have friends, but they're heavy drinkers and I'm not (unless I'm manic). No phone conversations, and the only contact centers around drinking. I like to avoid the pressure, and drunk people are especially unappealing when you're sober.

My husband brought home beer today. He drank them all, but at least it was only a 12 pack.

Kay

Dear Kay,

Sometimes when someone not helpful is removed, you open up space for a new friend.

I can hope for that for you -- that you have someone good for you.

M

Thank you, Bizi

I got a new lens script and picked out a pair of frames I love... but I had to go back 2 more times because of a poor fit. 1st they painfully dug in behind my ears and they were sliding down making red marks around my nose. The 2nd time, I had to go back because the frames were still sliding and making red indentations around my nose. I couldn't wear them for more than an hour or 2 because they were too uncomfortable.
Finally we decided I needed different frames. The optician was trying to talk me into the kind with nose pads, but I told him I'd get indents and eczema from the nose pads and have had 3 pairs of plastic frames without issue. I showed him the difference between the bridge on the glasses. The new ones were much narrower, and I thought that was the issue. He measured the 2 and agreed it was a big difference, so we looked at plastic frames with a wider bridge.
I was able to find a pair with a similar bridge measurement to what I am wearing. The cost is the same, so they'll just switch them out. I HOPE these will work out fine. They should be in by Monday.

I had a follow-up with my PCP about the pre-syncope (near fainting). I need to have a tilt table test, but I can only go to one of the two hospitals in town and they don't do the test. No word back from the office about how they will handle this.
I've been waking up in severe pain, like charlie horses but different. Also more tremor, day pain, and head bobbing. I guess it's the spasticity from the MS so they increased my baclofen.
Good news is, I haven't s* the bed again WOO-HOO!

My husband came home the day before St. Patrick's day with 2 30 packs. I used 4 cans for the corned beef, but he finished the few stragglers Monday night. That's 56 beers Friday-Monday.

This is embarrassing, but another troubling thing is that we have no sex life. This began years before I was dx with MS. It's partly his masturbation, partly his drinking. I've talked to him about it before. He promises to try harder, but doesn't deliver. I've gotten denied so many times, I'll only try sporadically and almost always get turned down. When he engages, he can't finish. He's too used to solo sex.

So far, the zoloft hasn't helped my depression, but I go up to 50mg tomorrow. I hope that can make a difference.

So, things aren't going well but I'm hanging in there and trying to roll with the punches.

Kay

Hope your new glasses work out OK. I just wanted to make a comment about beer. That much beer would stop anyone from sex. Nobody I know of can drink like that and function normally. The issues of calories isn't so good either. Not for his health, blood sugar or weight. I hope he can stop. I don't think the problem is his self gratification, more like the drinking. My parents were drinkers, and they weren't physical at all during my growing up years. Hope you are OK. There is a cousin of mine who has MS so I do know some of what you go through. I wish you all the best. I hope your love for each other can see you both get closer. I will keep you in my prayers. ginnie

Thank you for sharing kay.
Isn't it nice to know that we can come here and bare our souls and not be judged.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi
I am sorry that you struggle....

Dear Kay,

It hurts to talk about this. I understand a little. My first husband had a major medical problem. At a certain point he could not perform. He left me.


The beers and the other stuff could change if he 1) recognizes the problem, and 2) is motivated to get help for change. (That is what my tdoc would say probably) Things can get better.
For now, I am happy about your glasses. Mine are so important to me and like them to feel perfectly on my face too. I hope that your pain is relieved.
I hope that the Zoloft increase brings you benefits.


M

Hi Kay,

i am sorry to hear about your domestic situation. i don't have advice really. i do know a person has to admit to see a problem in themselves and be motivated to change. they also have to feel they can change somehow... with addictions that isn't always real intuitive. i hope your husband does have a breakthrough, and chooses to get help.

congrats on the glasses! i have 3 pairs, all sorta kinda broken. i am wearing the oldest of the lot - 20 years old, lol. they are in best shape, but the frame got somehow bent (others are snapped) so they are a little lopsided. i cannot get myself to spring for a new pair. i have intended to get really dark prescription shades too for when i have migraines. some sort of persnickety thing about getting the exact tint and having had to argue with the technicians in the past is holding me back.

i hope the Zoloft helps and does not make you manic. i hope that the baclofen helps with the pain and other MS sx too.

keep in touch. we will always listen. i am sending lots of good thoughts your way.

(((((hugs))))))

~ waves ~

Hi waves, I just got new glasses this year. I did spring for the very best and got transitions. Best thing I ever did for myself. The tinting for indoor and then out door is fantastic. Never have to worry about the sun and I live in florida. I also have that gradual close to distance that I should have done years ago. If you go shopping for some, check them out, you may think it is worth the price. I got one free with the purchase of one. Waited for a sale. have one for everyday, and one to look snappy with. Just thought you might want to know about this kind of glasses. I am 60 and I never thought that I would like something like this. ginnie

Dear Kay,

i apologize for the digression re: my optical requirements.


Dear Ginnie,

I am aware of Transitions but thanks for the "tip."

I'll explain. Migraines come with photosensitivity. i want 2 separate and distinct pairs of glasses: 1. For normal use, photochromatic ones (lighten and darken). 2. For migraines, dark glasses which stay dark wherever i go.

it sounds as if you are going through the trials of Job. is your husband affectionate at all? is he giving at all? that must be so painful for you.
fondly
bobby