I've had a lot of personal and medical issues going on...

We owe over $2000 to the IRS from last year and add another $650 from this year. We're always squeaking by- living paycheck to paycheck... considering bankruptcy now. We have over $20K in unsecured debt between us, not including medical bills.

My husband got a new job that he says he likes, but he's not getting any overtime. He's making less. We emptied his old 401K to help pay off some of the IRS debt. We may have to use the rest to pay a bankruptcy lawyer. My husband's not sold on that yet tho.

My husband and I both smoke (at least I got him to switch from Marlboro's to a cheap brand) so that's $80 a week. He's drinking more, add a lot of beer to our "budget."

Add my PT at $30 a whack... twice a week $60. Sometimes I have other appointments... some weeks $150.

In addition to neck and shoulder issues, I have increased spasms in my legs, lower back, and butt; my balance is off and I'm much more fatigued. My concentration and cognitive issues are worse.

Now I have to see ANOTHER orthopedist because I have hip problems- just had an Xray on the right side that showed a cyst (I don't know where or what kind). I want an MRI on both sides because I need early intervention cuz I have enough problems walking and can't afford to be laid up.

I have to use a forearm crutch now... it's an adjustment. PT said I need both. I'm not ready for that. I had to pay $104 out of pocket because I need adult sized crutches (I'm 5'9") but need a pediatric cuff because I have a very small forearm. I'm trying to get reimbursement from my medicare HMO, but I doubt I'll be successful.

My husband is violently angry all the time now- but NEVER directed towards me. He throws things and screams. I don't want to be anywhere near him when he's like that, I think he's drinking more again because of anxiety and depression, but he absolutely refuses to see someone.

I've been battling depression and high anxiety for a long time now. My pdoc adjusted some meds. It's mostly helping with the anxiety, but not the depression.

I'm sorry I haven't been around, but I'm going to skip the excuses.

Love,
Kay

ph kay,
you have a lot on your plate right now.
thank you for checking in .
I wish things were easier, sounds really hard to deal with especially an angry husband.
take care of your self
bizi

i am so sorry you are going through all this. thank goodness your husband isn't taking it out on you. he sounds like a very good person who is over his head. you don't sound as if you are over your head but you must be. I know of somebody who buys pipe tobacco and rolls her own cigarettes with a machine and saves a lot of money. I had to give it up because of money but it is a big comfort. beer is a big comfort too. I am glad the pills are helping your anxiety. I can understand why you are depressed. As Bizi said, you have so much on your plate. please come here more often at least to vent.
fondly
bobby

Dear Kay

it is good to see you. i am sorry things are so difficult for you guys. it really sounds overwhelming. it must be hard with your hubby being so angry all the time. i am sure it is hard for him too, but i understand... i live with an angry person too. i am glad he does not take it out on you. sending (((hugs))) and good thoughts.

on a practical line of thought... i wonder if you can call on a free financial assistant. i believe there are agencies that help people set up plans for debt payments, with their creditors. i know of ppl who got in deep debt with credit cards, who went this route. i hope someone else here knows more... like maybe where to find these people.

come back soon. you can just vent or say hi. i have missed you.

waves

Kay,
Are these debts student loans? You have to keep very close contact with those folks of course. You also need to work out a plan with the IRS as you know.

I am wondering what will happen if you stop paying the unsecured debt? Medical debt can be tricky. A lawyer could help.
If your husband is not comfortable filing for bankruptcy yet, then give him time. He may come around.
What if you made an appointment by yourself for a free consultation with a lawyer? You might get information that would help you feel relieved. Also, with that information you might help your husband think this through a little.

M

I did have a free consultation with a bankruptcy attorney. I got copies of all our credit reports beforehand and gave him a list of all our creditors and how much we owe.
There is a means test for chapter 7, and they can't count my SSDI so we qualify. But the atty. said that we may end up subject to an audit- and have to supply a budget where those cigarettes and all that beer will be a problem.
Then, there's chapter 13, where a trustee figures out what our "disposable income is (doesn't include beer and cigarettes)" and then comes up with a plan with a single monthly payment distributed among your creditors. Unfortunately those monthly payments leave no wiggle room.
It's funny how much money it costs to hire a lawyer when you need one because you're broke.

I did look into debt consolidation/counciling. There are a lot of disreputable people/organizations out there. A lot of places won't even try to negotiate your balances down. Many creditors won't participate- especially if you're still trying to pay the minimum payment. I'm thinking about going to see someone locally. It's still worth a shot- as long as the initial consultation is free.

I have a private student loan I have to pay no matter what. 2 have already been discharged by the federal government due to total and permanent disability (I had to pay tax). I have 2 more eligible loans serviced by Sallie Mae. My doctor has sent the paperwork in twice, but they've sent it back for stupid reasons. I just sent it back again. They're terrible to deal with.

We're on an installment plan with the IRS for last year. Even though we sent the application in with our taxes last February, it wasn't approved until 2 months ago, and they still haven't withdrawn the funds from our account once. I've called at least 10 times about it.
We used money from my husband's retirement account to pay this year's tax bill.

When my pdoc tweaked my meds, she put me on cymbalta for the depression, increased anxiety, and hopes it would help with some of my pain.

It was helping with the pain, but I started noticing that I was more exhausted than usual and totally out of it. I was like a zombie. My balance was more off, too.

She did increase my klonopin by .5mg, but I've on that dose before. I decided to stop the cymbalta for a few days to see if it helped and it did. The pain is coming back tho. I'm going to leave her a message telling her I stopped it.

My appointment with the hip ortho got pushed back to this Friday. I hate not having answers. I called my PCP's office to get the location and hopefully the type of cyst, but haven't gotten a call back. I'm going to have to go to his office to get the Xray report. I don't do well without information.
When I see this hip guy I need to tell him it's not just the right hip and I want an MRI of both sides. I hope he's not an asshole, and does what I ask.

With all the bowel meds I'm on, I'm SO constipated... having awful pains in the lower left quadrant. I'm drinking mag citrate right now and hope I'll have relief by the morning, or I'm going to have to drink another bottle tomorrow night.

I'm having low-grade fevers 100.8 last time. I took an at home UTI test and it was negative (except for leukocytes- always have those). The little fevers are probably from the constipation.

hi kay,
heavy sigh about all of your stressors.
I wish things would lighten up for you.
ginnie on these forums swears by steel cut oats for relief of constipation, I have used myralax and that works...it comes in a powder that you mix with water, tasteless.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Kay

Sending you some hugs. Please keep your spirits up.

Give that doctor a call about the cymbalta.

Donna

(((((( Kay ))))))

it really does sound like you did and are keeping on doing everything humanly possible... i'm so sorry the other parties are so unresponsive. that has got to be so maddening! ... not to mention frustrating and exhausting as the ball is basically left in your court to push and shove... sigh.

hope things start coming through for you soon in the debt department.

----------------------

good luck with the hip consultation. i hope the doc listens and gets you the exams you need.

hope your bowels are more cooperative soon too. the mag citrate should help, but adopting a dose of it as a nightly regimen to stay regular might be better for your system than using it as an extreme remedy when things get bad. you'd need to figure out the right dosage for you starting low, and incrementing on a weekly basis until you get results. clearly, you back off a bit on the dose if it "works too well."

(((hugs)))

waves