Hi,

Tdoc seemed to be looking at the clock a lot during our appt. It felt strange. I was sitting in a different chair than I usually do. Maybe she always does that and I have just not noticed.

She pointed out that I was more anitmated / agitated than she has seen me. I think even when I walked into the office I was moving differently. Then while seated I was making big and quick movements with my arms while I talked.
I told her I took 0.5 Klonopin 2.5 hours before the appt, had been listening to a relaxation cd in the car, and again was listening to relaxation on my iPdod while in her waiting room. I did not "feel"" any more agitated/ anxious than usual.
Maybe her comment was because we have been having phone interviews since early Jan or so and she has not seen me.

She seemed more quiet in this sessions than in others. She got slightly annoyed about something. The whole thing felt odd. I almost felt like I should look for a different tdoc who is closer and cheaper.

M

dear Mari

that session sounds yucky. i'm sorry.

changing is always an option.

however i often find that i have this kind of reaction to a single session that has upset me.

so just take your time and let it sit a while maybe. if you want to you could research another therapist or even interview one, just whenever you have time. kind of like, sending a resume or doing an interview doesn't obligate one to accept a job. but whereas job offer does require an immediate decision, interviewing a therapist does not. you can make notes on the new person at home in case you want to look back after some time has gone by, or even ask to record the session.

sending you warm thoughts.
and lots of hugs

~ waves ~

I am sorry things did not sit well with you after/during your session.
I stopped seeing my therapist because I felt she was judging me on my drinking. Maybe it is time for me to move on too. Or maybe it is time to not have a therapist....that is just me. I have a good support system in place, I can talk to hubby just about everything.
Mari go with your gut, maybe she was having an off day?
Maybe it is time to find another therapist?
You get to decide this.
Sending you good thoughts today.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

i agree with Waves. I think you should start shopping. the clock is behind me so i am unaware of how much time my therapist looks at it. I think it would annoy me mightilly(sp) if my therapist was clock watching. It shoulds as if she wasn't there and definitely wasn't engaged. You don't need that. You have enough on your plate besides an unresponsive therapist.
bobby

I agree with bobby, bizi, and waves, go with your gut, she works for YOU, if you feel she's not helping or is not attentive or easily annoyed by stupid things, perhaps it is time to find a new tdoc. I hate that you had to go through such an awkward session.

I honestly agree with the others.

I don't have a tdoc, but this isn't the kind I would want.

I don't know if I would give it another try either. Because you usually
do a lot on the phone. So its hard to know if she does a lot of
watching the clock when your on the phone. Or just not paying attention
to what is going on.

Donna

Hi,

I have been seeing her since 2005. I was apparently very agitated. At some point she pointed out that she had never seen me that physically agitated before. By the end of the session my movements seemed calmer.

It was a weird session because I walked in the door saying I was not going to talk about this, this, and that. ---- basically I wanted a session but did not want to talk to her about anything.
She tried ways in . . . by gently suggesting that we could find ways to help me deal with them . . . . .so she could help me.
I blocked her. Told her no.
We talked about nothing but small talk type stuff of mine until I told her it was time to go and then I asked for an appointment two weeks later.
It was totally a weird session because normally I talk plenty --- cry, laugh, curse, talk, . . . This time no cursing. Nothing.

M

Your Tdoc, seemed to not be in contact with you. If you feel uncomfortable in anyway, do seek another. If you are having to travel for the appt. you want it to be worth your time and trouble . I hope you find someone who can be more supportive. ginnie

apparently you were not wanting to talk....see how it goes in two weeks then decide.
bizi

Dear Mari

I agree to see how it goes in two weeks.

I found most interesting your post describing how you didn't want to talk about anything and blocked her attempts to "unclam" you up. perhaps the weirdness was more about you than about her in a sense... she may have started to feel powerless and the clockwatching was a reaction to that, perhaps not even a conscious one. therapists are human. they are not gods who act perfectly in every situation.

If you're not wanting to talk or not wanting to talk to her, maybe you need some time off from her. And there's a vast gamut of choices here... not just keeping her or dropping her.

I did not mean to suggest you drop her for now, as many who "agree with me" seemed to think - quite the contrary actually. It's just that with such little free time, it makes sense to look around when you have opportunity... just in case the "research" is needed.

i said this to share that after a single bad experience i sometimes get a disproportionately bad feeling that has on occasion led me to
-- take time off
-- consider switching w/ or w/out taking time off
-- consider stopping therapy

The feeling has always settled down. Often things bubble up from it and as the intensity of the "upsetness" fades, i acquire lucidity and perspective on what set me off and/ or why i was predisposed to be set off which is quite different. Typically i have then been able to talk about it with my therapist.

I am aware that you've had this therapist for a long time and have kept her despite the inconvenience because she works in ways that you specifcally sought. If her therapeutic approach is still what you want, then my best suggestion is to take all the time you need to consider your relationship WITH her and what is happening there. If you already have an understanding that you want a TOTALLY different therapeutic approach, then, I think it would still be good to discuss that with her, for closure.

The therapeutic relationship is complex. When blocks or conflicts arise something may be going on at a deep level so deep or painful that we cannot just go in and have a session about it. It is self-preservation.

You may have encountered ways in which she does not work for you or she upsets you, and i don't mean that last session. Sometimes discrepancies between what you want and what is provided can be resolved, if they are brought into discussion.

I wonder if you blocked her because you were too upset about any given issue to talk about it at all..... or if you could already "hear" what she might say and didn't want to hear it. Or some other thing altogether.

Whatever the problem I believe it is worth figuring out, before making a permanent change. Doing so, your therapeutic direction will evolve if it needs to, be it within the same relationship, or with closure of this relationship in favor of one that is more suited to current needs.

If we move on without understanding what is wrong in the here and now, in my experience, the same problems present again sooner or later, in a new package, and again, and again...



i hope yo are sleeping better and feeling better overall. i've been so bad at reading i'm not sure if it's been said someplace. i just hope you are.


~ waves ~
p.s. my therapist does some annoying things. those that were very upsetting i brought up and they were changed by mutually satisfactory agreement. others are more intrinsic, but i have been assured they are not about me nor do they lessen attention to me (my concern). i chose to accept them on the grounds that he is human. i also accept my own annoyance since i can't seem to change that either. we get on with therapy all the same.