[BlueMajo]

Ok, Im in a "sadness crisis" as we speak....

Im going to turn off the computer and try the cold water right now.... will report if it helped !!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! Dont want to do anything stupid and/or feel depressed today all day long !

[Mari]

Oh, Majo,

I hope that you feel better.

After the bath, try something else. Sometimes I need three or four thinks on my list to be o.k.

Mari

[waves]

(((Hugs))) to you Majo. Hope you feel better soon.

waves

[BlueMajo]

Argh...

I used cold water (couldnt take a bath) in my hands, neck and face.... it feels good haha, like brain stops yeah !

I later stayed in bed just watching and listening my little table fountain and it helped a little bit too I think....

I went for more cold water.... It feels good when you are right there....

I then listened some music and cried a bit but thanks God it stopped....

And Im here.... a little bit nostalgic but dont precisely sad fortunately... may depression stay away !

You know what was the stimuli this time ? I prepared all the week a letter for a friend, I gave it to her and she was like: Ah ok. Im busy, bye. Cruel much !?

Argh. Sometimes I cant explain why I keep caring about people... bad people I mean.

[anneo59]

I usu try to adopt your same philosophy and also sleep if possible. Frequently have success and relief from mania or depression. Especially the latter!

Originally Posted by BlueMajo

Oh you are so right sister !!!

I like to think "feelings are not facts" they are "just" feelings When Im sad without a reason, I mean, a real fact, I like to tell to myself: "oh come on, this is not real... Sadness is just in your mind... Go to sleep, tomorrow will be better" and it does help ! Haha at least a little bit

[Dmom3005]

Mayo

Personally I think your reaction was appropriate.

You had prepared the letter, And I think you expected more of a reply.

So you were sad, and upset when it didn't come. And didn't know how to
respond. Maybe the crying was what you needed.

Maybe the cold water was what you needed.

Its hard to say.

Keep working to solve what you need. And if nothing else
find one of us to talk too.

Its okay to be sad that she didn't respond better to it.

Donna

[BlueMajo]

Thank you Donna

You know how much you mean to me, and it feels very nice to ne loved by such an amazing person like you

I really need to learn to let go... More easily, more quickly....

[waves]

Originally Posted by BlueMajo

You know what was the stimuli this time ? I prepared all the week a letter for a friend, I gave it to her and she was like: Ah ok. Im busy, bye. Cruel much !?

Argh. Sometimes I cant explain why I keep caring about people... bad people I mean.

Wow, you put a lot of effort into that letter! It sounds to me like her response caused you to experience a deep rejection, and it kind of flipped a switch? Can I say that? I hope I am not offending you. I am being very blunt, I know...

You anticipated an emotional reaction commensurate with your effort. But even if you told her, "Here, I've been working on this for you all week," I kind of doubt she could imagine the amount of time, let alone the emotional intensity you invested in that letter.

I suspect that in her view, you were just handing her something to read, that could very well be read later. Since she was busy, she let you know that. Maybe what she was doing was urgent, or she did not want to lose her train of thought, or she wanted to offer you her full attention? She may indeed not have been too gentle in her response. This can happen when someone's mind is elsewhere, but certainly if she was abrupt, it would augment your feelings of rejection.

Sometimes people can be clueless about these things though, you know? Does that mean she is cruel? Or bad? Those are strong words! I am almost willing to bet that, when you were working on the letter for her, you must have had equally strong positive beliefs about her. More bluntness: this sounds like an idealization/devaluation cycle... black/white thinking. I realize I am speaking from very far away so maybe I don't know what the heck I am talking about.

Majo, you have highly sensitive reactions. This can be a gift but also a curse. One of the risks is that your thinking can get skewed, by a strong subjective experience.

One of the rules I have adopted for times of feeling too intensely - whether I feel great or horrible - is to suspend judgement. The "judgement" part means I don't get to ascribe badness or goodness to a person or situation - I am allowed to experience my own feelings. The "suspend" part means this is only a temporary thing. Later, once I am in a more neutral place emotionally, I am allowed to sort through my feelings and decide what is me, what is outside of me, what is exaggerated and what is real. I don't always do this 100%, but even doing it somewhat has helped me.

I don't know if that could help you or not.

I am glad the water and the fountain sounds helped some. I love the sound of trickling water. I hope you can soothe yourself some more.

waves

[Mari]

Originally Posted by BlueMajo

T

I really need to learn to let go... More easily, more quickly....

Majo,

This is a thought of mine --- maybe not a good one . . ..

Maybe try not to get involved in the first place.
Take a break from people.
Look into things (collect data and experiment) about what you like and what works for you.
=====
Write letters to yourself.
If you want you can share the letters with us.

In these letters you can write about the things you have achieved (the small things and the big things.)

Mari

[BlueMajo]

"Take a break from people."

That is precisly what Im gonna do.

And yes, clearly, I tend to idealize people...

Wont be back here at least in a long time.

Goodbye.