I cannot seem to move forward.

All I seem to do is avoid doing the things I need to do.

I have tried being patient, scaring myself into action, acting "as if", mindfully having fun, resting, waiting for the "right" time, getting angry, getting busy, rewarding myself, withholding rewards, making rules, breaking rules.

Nothing changes. Everything changes... for the worse.

I don't know what to do. I feel despair at times, but even that doesn't get me going.

waves

And no, I'm not depressed, or sick, or anxious. There isn't any reason for it.

It isn't even somthing that just happened.

It is a long-standing bad pattern that keeps getting worse.

Waves I understand. (((Hugs,Hugs,and more hugs))) BF

Waves,

My thoughts are with you.

I am sorry. Lots of hugs -- I hope that they help somewhat.

Mari

you sound stuck.
I know of a life coach who gives a free consultation.
I can get her info if you want.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

i know what it is like. i am so glad you don't have anxiety or depression. have you tried meditation? maybe you should try a new path and not focus on what you have been focusing on
love
bobby

Thanks to each of you for your support. Understanding and the hugs are always good.

Bizi, I very much appreciate your offer, and I'm curious about the life coach. My problem is that, while I could do the free consultation, it is probably just something she offers as an orientation to allow people to see if they click, if what she offers interests them, etc. Meaning, if I am to get something from it, really, I'd need to follow up and schedule some sessions with her. I simply cannot afford it, not even short term -- I am running out of money. If I am not reasoning this correctly, please set me straight.

Bobby... meditation. Yes and no. Yes to the extent that I got interested in it, read a book on it and "tried" it a little a few years back. No, in the sense that I really didn't DO any more meditation than anything else I've "tried". Meditation won't help if one doesn't DO it. I have a problem DOing just about anything.



waves

"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just NEVER give up." Dean Karnazes

Yes, I think that's the bottom line, really. And to keep trying, even when I am not budging... which does happen. Or maybe that "counts" as crawling.

waves

Waves,

I used to consider any day successful when I stayed out of a hospital or jail.
(I probably pzzed off a cop or two, other wise I would not have this in my repertoire.)

You are taking care of yourself and helping your parents and often that is enough.

Something will shift in you or the universe or your circumstances and things will change for the better.

I pray. Sometimes for some specific things. Sometimes For other people. I remember reading Job -- can't tell you why that one comes to me. Others might be better. I like the last part of Job.
Near the end, Job asks God for an explanation for his suffering. God, being an all testament God, answers indirectly and with poetry (in the King James Version) ----- "where were you when I made the heavens and the earth?"
Anyway, I find it comforting that God is all powerful.


Or if not that, do you have any books that you have read in the past and that work for you? I read Jane Austin whenever I cannot handle doing anything else. I practically have the first 10 pages of Pride and Prejudice memorized because I apparently always start at the beginning of the book instead of wherever I left off last.


Here is some Dan Bau Music (The Dan Bau is a one string guitar.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSZLlD8TrIc

or this one

PEACE MANTRA : OM SHANTI OM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?https:...?v=MOlZlXn0KT8

M