I cannot seem to move forward.

All I seem to do is avoid doing the things I need to do.

I have tried being patient, scaring myself into action, acting "as if", mindfully having fun, resting, waiting for the "right" time, getting angry, getting busy, rewarding myself, withholding rewards, making rules, breaking rules.

Nothing changes. Everything changes... for the worse.

I don't know what to do. I feel despair at times, but even that doesn't get me going.

waves

And no, I'm not depressed, or sick, or anxious. There isn't any reason for it.

It isn't even somthing that just happened.

It is a long-standing bad pattern that keeps getting worse.

Waves I understand. (((Hugs,Hugs,and more hugs))) BF

Waves,

My thoughts are with you.

I am sorry. Lots of hugs -- I hope that they help somewhat.

Mari

you sound stuck.
I know of a life coach who gives a free consultation.
I can get her info if you want.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

i know what it is like. i am so glad you don't have anxiety or depression. have you tried meditation? maybe you should try a new path and not focus on what you have been focusing on
love
bobby

Thanks to each of you for your support. Understanding and the hugs are always good.

Bizi, I very much appreciate your offer, and I'm curious about the life coach. My problem is that, while I could do the free consultation, it is probably just something she offers as an orientation to allow people to see if they click, if what she offers interests them, etc. Meaning, if I am to get something from it, really, I'd need to follow up and schedule some sessions with her. I simply cannot afford it, not even short term -- I am running out of money. If I am not reasoning this correctly, please set me straight.

Bobby... meditation. Yes and no. Yes to the extent that I got interested in it, read a book on it and "tried" it a little a few years back. No, in the sense that I really didn't DO any more meditation than anything else I've "tried". Meditation won't help if one doesn't DO it. I have a problem DOing just about anything.



waves

I was probably silly to post. I don't really expect any solutions. There aren't many solutions one can offer to someone who has a problem doing anything. I mean, I can think of one, but it isn't helpful: roll over and die. See what I mean? LOL. At least you guys were more creative and more positive than that!

It's actually very, very important that I do not give up. I've done that before -- in the guise of "acceptance" or "healing" or "recovering" etc -- for periods of time. It makes things get worse that much faster.

Moneywise, I am almost completely wiped out. That's why it's so important that I find a job (i.e. look for a job, refresh my skillset, etc...). Sigh, dog chasing tail. I've been trying, and have managed to do a little, but am not nearly as active about the job search as circumstances would warrant.

Someone needs to pay me money to watch old reruns, or play solitaire. And I know how pathetic that sounds, believe me.

I just have to keep trying to scratch at the surface I suppose. Maybe eventually I'll wear it down and break through. I probably need a kick in the pants. Honestly, I'm not even sure it would work. I guess we'll find out, because sooner or later, if I keep up the way I'm going, life will see to that.

waves

Waves,

That is the kind of job I want too.

That is a perfect job.


I am sorry that you are going through this.

M

In' it though?

Thanks, Mari.

This has come around, and around, for years. I am tired of it. Sometimes, I try to feel out the "being tired of it" really hard. The idea is, if I really feel how bad it is, perhaps it can help me to take steps to move out of it. I need to keep taking those steps... some steps... any steps.

waves