Yes! :trampoline:

That was a good list, Mari. I too am going to come back to it, as I want to/need to relax for tonight. I am way stressed out from trying to figure out the email/facebook/virus thing. Sigh. I have already done way more than I care to, in this department:
The parents have gone to bed. It is beautifully quiet in here, and I am about to make it dark, and just hang out until I am sleepy. :)

waves

I hope you are sleeping waves.
or at least resting.
bizi:Zzzz:

Not sleeping but kind of resting.

I'm reading fiction online. Those who can't do, write, and those who can't write, read. LOL.

waves

I feel hopeless.

I will never get back off the ground in anything.

I've been wanting to write... and the whole need to get up to speed in software is feeling much harder and, as it has countless times before, less "me".

But "me" things have a habit of turning less "me"-ish, as soon as I get ankle deep in them.

I have no constancy in anything.

And no stepper for like the past 3-4 days I don't even know.

I'm harrowed by the computer/security issues I've been having to deal with, and I am even managing to half ignore those... lazy.

waves

Waves,

I strongly feel that I have one main job each day.
That is still be alive the next day.
Sometime I add a second part to that main job. The second part is that I hope to live with some degree of grace. The definition of grace keeps morphing.
Everything else is gravy :) :) :)

Anyway, drop the whatever feels like too much.
Do what you can to soothe yourself and to stay on a good path.

I understand this kind of.
Is it that you feel like it has to be settled and yet you have so much?
It makes my happy that you took a "break" (?) to half ignore them.
Ignore whatever else is in the way of having good days.


M

(((((HUGS))))))
you were on a bit of a high for a while ...could this be you coming down contributing to these negative feelings?
I don't know.
bizi:hug:

Yes, actually, that could very well be it.

waves

Under which of these categories, would you place employment/income?
-- survival?
-- grace?
-- gravy?

I guess I personally would consider a lot of different things under survival. Work needs to be in that box, imho. Somehow, although I believe that, I seem to act like it's gravy... or something.

Drop things, ignore things, sleep extra, overeat, play mindnumbing games.
Resist as hard as I can my inclination to drop things.
Resist the temptation to sleep, overeat and play games.
Absolutely had to be settled... someone used my email acct to sign up for face book. I had to report it.... after figuring out how and what to report.

Still an open question which also has to be resolved is whether someone did or did not get into my email, but especially... if they did... HOW, because I was using a strong password... not easy to guess/hack. So I've been half-heartedly llooking for malware (2 AV scanners say I am clean -- although that is good, it leaves me with no answers about the email.)

I had to ignore for a while... I started getting overinvolved. I have to find a balance of doing the necessary without going overkill and undermining other necessities.

I hate hate hate that ****. And why now when, if anything ttechnical, I should be doing stuff that helps me get out of my stupid unemployed rut. Not that having my email compromised would be better, if I, say, had to go to work every day for 9-10 hours, eat/wash/prep another 2, commute for another 3, and sleep for at least 5.

I've got it good, right? Have all the time in the world to troubleshoot security problems.

waves

Oh rats waves, you did not need this crap!:(
bizi

Thanks Bizi. :hug: