cleaning
 

I have been cleaning........ and clearing, and sorting, and (only a little) discarding things. So far, I have

-- Cleaned, sorted out, tested lots of stray hardware

-- Cleared and cleaned surfaces

-- Moved furniture and boxes to wash hard-to-access parts of floor

-- Freed a cabinet and put my stray shoes in it, for easy access

========================

Last night, I finally got to my nightmarish biggie:
I attacked the huge big pile of papers and stuff under the desk.

I've made a first pass sort into general categories. This enables me to get to more important things more quickly. My sifted piles are:

1. Financial
2. Medical
3. Leisure(ish)
4. Manuals for recent purchases
5. Computer mags & CDs

I also threw out a pile about as big as my medical. Whew. :)

======================

Next, I need to:

1. Pull out a large cabinet's worth of more junk/papers to add to these.

2. Figure out a place to file things because the filing boxes are full.

3. File things.

Hoping to find lots of old papers I can toss. Also hoping people (read: dad) don't give me a hard time about my category piles left and right, because it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Also hoping I can keep the momentum needed to finish.

This is long overdue, and it has been taxing my mind.

waves

p.s. Thanks to Mari for the inspiration, with your work on your computer room. :)

Those are lots of big and little steps!!!!!!
 

Waves,

:highfive: :Tip-Hat: :You-Rock:
WOW.

That is amazing.

I agree waves!!!!! you are amazing!!!!
I am sure you are burning lots of calories with all of this physical and mental activity.
I know that it feels good getting stuff done.
bizi

Thanks, guys. I am sort of amazed and relieved that I have finally gotten going with this. I am a messy, cluttery person, but a few times in my life, it has got really out of hand, where things have built up. This is one of those times.

This morning before going to bed I got to #1 on this list:

I literally littered the living room (have an alliteration or three, why not) with the contents of that cabinet. I sorted some, recycled some, then ran out of steam and sort of scooped things into other piles, then scooped those into a few bags.

When I stopped, I was spent. I hope I continue tonight. Right now I am just plopped down with bags of things on and surrounding my area, and occupying on half of my bed, too.

I am also overwhelmed. Too much stuff to process, and too much stuff that needs kept.

Especially, I need to create a situation where I can have the space to file new incoming documents and my boxes/space will be saturated just with what is here. I could probably sort out a box that can go to the cellar, and there is probably a filing box in the cellar with stuff I can now shred so I can recover the box. That might be enough, not sure. Even so............

:Sigh:

Involving the cellar feels too hard.

I am trying to figure out in my head how I can do things up here, so that I can do the cellar-swaps in a second, separate wave of activity.... like months from now, or never. :o

Anyway, so far so good.

you are really impressive. I am glad that you have some energy....
any joy in getting some of this done?
bizi

Dear Waves,
 

These things you are doing are amazing.
So so fabulous to have made this strides.

Waves,

I like this list. You have prioritized.

The three things to think about is manageable -- in terms of head focus.


The "more" part is a little scary but when you are in the "beam" (made up term----can't think of a better one right now) you can keep moving.


I love the alliteration.

Ya know, I think that this is an important part of the process -- being spent and stopping.

I think like with other things, the "break" is useful. Whatever is going on in the head or mind or whatever is getting reshuffled, re-aligned, or reset.

This is the hardest part.
You have done so much. This is a lot of head work. (For me I have a hard time focusing -- dunno if that is an issue for you.) I also feel several emotions attached to EVERY SINGLE ITEM that I touch.
That in itself is exhausting. I think I had to "shut down" and keep moving through certain areas/issues.
But the "shutting down" doesn't exactly work. I was wrung out. What helped is that at the same time, I was also feeling some exhilaration and maybe what I can call freedom. I felt lighter. So the exhilaration that came and went helped with the wrung out part. Sometimes one was winning and sometimes the other. Other moments, they both worked together in a weird way . . .. because a really strong part of me wanted to improve my space/life/ ability to move about in my daily tasks AND not feel "slightly wrung out/spent all the time." That stinks and that is what motivated me.
And I still feel lighter/less encumbered. And I can see other things I could toss either randomly or when I have a little time to re-consider why the heck they are still here when other more important/ interesting things were hauled out.

Yes. That is what motivated me. I needed some completely empty shelves and some more file space so I could have work space.

I understand the emotions with the cellar. When one is talking about different locales. the whole mindset changes. Being in the zone/beam (as tenuous as it might have been) is gone and now ADDING a new place and new task and a few more steps takes some new energy that has to be called up from somewhere.

If you do recover the box and even if it is one box, that success goes beyond the physical space (of one box) that you freed. You have made one more big step in creating a life for yourself now with items in your "now" and future life.

. . .. So don't do the cellar.
The cellar will still be there when you want to do it.
You have other things to do.

I like this. You are funny. Now (in the immediacy), later (whoever), or never. . . . any of those work. You have accomplished a lot.

The cellar will be easier if/when you do get around to it at a future date because you have established how your space works.

Hubby is working on his room right now as I type.
Except he does not toss stuff out --- because of his OCD I believe.
He rearranges. It can still be a big improvement for him and for me -- that his stuff is less stuff-like.
And he is focusing on freeing up (1) work space and (2) space for new things --ACTUALLY, I had to help him (nag him) about those two issues.

Mari

Bizi, thanks.

I am sleep deprived, caffeine-deprived, and very tired. I am pushing myself. I just can't stand the shitpile I live in any more.

Sorting is a joyless, thankless, tedious, tiresome, stressful and overwhelming task/collection of tasks. But the mess has grown to the point that it weighs on me more than does the work to reduce it.

As I make progress, the balance might tip the other way again, and I will stop.

I feel some satisfaction at getting stuff done. Mostly what keeps me going is the promise of partial relief from the chaos.

waves

Thanks, Mari.

Lots of good observations.

A quick explanation on the cellar thing. It isn't so much about needing an empty box, it's more about sending a full one down, because I don't have the physical space up here to put everything away. But the cellar too is full, so the only way I can send stuff down is to find something there of equal volume which can be trashed.

While doing the sorting part, which comes before the putting away part, I am vaguely hoping to work out some other clever idea. Mostly, perhaps, I am lying to myself and telling mysellf that I won't need to do the cellar thing, because it takes the pressure off. OR something like that.

And yes, the whole thought of "spreading" the process to another locale...

About a month ago, I retrieved from the cellar a box full of floppy disks, meaning to trash them all. Box went back down with contents intact. I decided I want to buy a 3.5" usb floppy drive (because I don't have enough hardware floating around?? :eek:) to recover my writings, poems, and schoolwork. Note that, I would have to take said drive to a friend's, because most of the disks are Mac. In all, the painful process produced nothing but some idiotic intentions.

waves

(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Yes, to the beam. It is a feeling fluid. A one thing leads to another and more happens than one bargains for.

Yes. I think I kinda overdid. I have been spent and stopped all day, which is reasonable between sleep and having people around. But I didn't do much during the night either, which is my action time.

I did a little writing, because I've been tellig myself that I just need to do it if I want to, even if my focus and direction are unclear. So I did that. I made a file called characters, thinking I'd write a character here, one there, not linked. I started to do that, but a story emerged in my head, so I jotted down some of those ideas, too. And some keywords at the top. Concepts for development. Next time I might continue, or start afresh with something/someone else. Doesn't matter. Writing a couple of descriptive paragraphs of that kind was surprisingly hard. That's ok too. Got an interesting feeling out of being challenged, and observing myself feel challenged.

I have a focus issue that might not be the same as yours. I have to work hard to stay on task, because I get caught up easily in the detail, a bit like going off on tangents.

The emotional impact is IMMENSE for me. I got very sad, and yes it is very exhausting. And I have a very hard time throwing things away. I feel as though I'm throwing away a piece of myself, or a piece of my past. I have to work hard to get myself in a place where throwing this item or that away is ok. Sometimes I can induce a detachment and ride it for similar items.

Yeah, I felt wrung out and hung out to dry. But no exhilaration. Maybe if I felt I had more control, and could envision a more pervasive result. But at best, I will end up nestled between my mother's boxes and piles, after mine are put away. So it is hard to summon up a pure, positive image that is believeable.

This, I might have, if I can get rid of enough stuff, which is mostly the emotional barrier I think. That could happen in a matter of months at best.

Yes, this is fantastic. My hope is to make it to this point eventually! :):):)

Yes. I need this in a few areas besides files (clothes, personal projects), but in all of them, I have to split the goal. First I need to get everything I have to fit someplace out of sight. Then I can refine that to have extra space.

Right... hehe, "or never" because I know myself lol... I been here before... I know what's likely to happen, LOL. Sometimes I surprise myself. But I don't want the pressure -- tends to set me up for failure.

Yes.

Right now I need to reduce volume, not just reshape it, but I am very familiar with that rearranging thing, and I do think there is a heavy obsessive component to it. Sometimes, the desire to eliminate gets compromised into a rearrangement due to obsessive constraints, too.

For instance, a worry emerged about my current throwing away process. I started worrying about the possibility of identity theft, and that I haven't been strict enough about what does and does not need shredding. I probably need to dig through the recycling to find things with certain identifiers on them, and move them in the shredding pile. Sigh. I wish I'd thought of this before. I am tempted to just write it off and hope for the best. I am plagued by these kinds of worries... it's an obsessive thing this.

It does help, if one must have lots of stuff, to have it organized so one can find things. Arranging into modular shapes which can easily be combined and moved about is also very helpful. It's about space economy. Speaking of which, did you know the Japanese developed a cubic watermelon?

Haha. If you weren't there he'd probably just navigate an ever-mounting sea of stuff. But at some point, in some way, it would become his Achilles' heel, so you are helping him.