Have a good sleep. You need it.
Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I was making spaghetti and meatballs. ;)

struggling
 

Hello everyone, I just joined today. I was diagnosed with bipolar 4 years ago, havent been on medication for a long time..... my life is VERY up and down I have missused drugs and alcohol and done and said some awfull things...... the alcohol has been a copping mecanisum for me...just wanted to leave my mind for a few hours/days. Something in my life really needs to change drastically. Well that is the very short version of my story. Not sure if I have posted in the right place..... sorry very new to this sort of thing. Thank you :grouphug:

welcome night mere!
for me I have to be on medication to stay stable other wise I go manic.
I can't take anti depressants either.
It sounds like you may be needing some medication and talk therapy to work on your issues. Do you have a therapist?(tdoc)

waves, congratulations are in big order for making that call!!!!!!
And she sought you out!!!!!
wow! well done!
bizi

congratulations Waves......fingers crossed
love
bobby

hello
 

I have been to see councilers before and tried medication..... not with much success though....side affects of drugs have always been awful I have epilepsy also and dont take meds for that, for the same reason (dont have fits very often though thankfully) I was looking more in the direction of alternate therapies ie reflexology or something like that.... I so want to get out of the vicious circle that I am in. I struggle to maintain relationships with friends and partners also I cant seem keep a job for a great length of time, I struggle to make decisions whether they be big or basic. Its is a constant battle with my own mind :( xx

Waves

Way to go!!!!


Night mere.
I can only say be careful with having seizures. And I'm sorry the
medications don't seem to help.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Lara, Bizi, Donna, Bobby (hi Bobby!)

Thanks. I don't really think this will turn into anything. But it's encouraging that she included me in her people to try.

I forgot to say, one thing in fact perhaps the main thing she wanted to know was why I haven't worked much the past few years and the most recent experience (and some others) are teaching. Interesting trying to explain that. I was mostly honest, but not completely. I lied about wanting to go back to software development.

I am actually looking for jobs both in teaching and in software (or anything else I see that appeals to me that I might have a shot at, quite honestly). Software is just the most likely one. Teaching is less likely because of the crappy economy and because I can't afford to certify right now, but I still look. I tell teaching people I want to teach and software people I want to write software... the truth is, I'd do either one.

Hi nightmare, I see that Bobby started a thread for you, so I'm going to reply there. :)

sulking
 

I didn't eat dinner with my parents tonight.

Partly, I'm not hungry because I slept till about 6pm (dinner is at 7... not enough time for me to get hungry.)

Partly, I'm just tired of having to juggle separate foods (I don't eat meat, they do), haggling over burners. Even if tonight I have veggies which I didn't eat last night (because I wasn't hungry, same reason).

I heard my mom clearing the table and thought about going to do the dishes. I usually do the dishes. I didn't. No food and no dishes. She went ahead and did them.

Partly, maybe a lot, I am sulking. I'd love to shut myself in my room for a few days and emerge only to drag food back in or use the bathroom. Except I don't have my own room.

waves

I am still upset. I feel very upset.

I am upset by my parents, my stuff, myself.

I want to just shove this box I threw everything into into the back of the closet and cram the rest into the cupboards and forget about it.

And then flush myself down the toilet because I feel like the stuff that goes down there.

============
My mother did her form of sulking//sulky revenge. She decided to clean the burners (as in wash them, soak in sink) as well as dishes, so took until after 10 to finish in there. Couldn't have cooked if I'd wanted to. So much for my eating "later" like I said I would and she knew it. I couldn't have even eaten the vegs with mozzarella coz I need the sink to drain the mozzarella. This is what happens when I don't EAT on THEIR schedule, without what they consider a very good reason.... like coming home late from work is about the only reason that would qualify.

I ate trail mix when I got hungry. I can live off it for weeks -- used to do that when depressed. No dishes. Wasnt my intention though.

waves