I am sorry if this stirred up negative feelings to remember what that was like. I am pretty sure that you appreciate your better life now you mari. having gone thru such hardship then you know you never ever want to go there again.
I long for passion....
I miss this, I have had passion in the past but that was before meds dulled my sense of me.
Don't know if this makes sense.
bizi
maybe this is why I am drinking so much....
My life is very small.....

Bizi,


Find something nice to do for yourself today.

Mari

I drank razberry margaritas and enjoyed them and ate satsuma oranges off the tree in my clients back yard.(easy to peel seedless)
it is a beautiful day today nice and sunny.
the rain is coming though....tomorrow I believe.
bizi

sigh.....
bizi

Bizi,

When you exercise, you seem to do better.
Can you pick up some moderate exercise?

Walking in the neighborhood before it gets dark?

M

No. Not at all.
 

It makes sense and I understand it on an intellectual level.

There are ways of having exciting times without living on the edge of harmful behavior.

You can find new types of excitement -- the walk (was it a run that you did), and so on.

Make a list of things that please you and that connect you to your true self and try one thing each month.

I need to figure out about the drinking. If I drink then I don't drive then don't go to the gym. I have been working so much lately I even worked sat and sunday playing catch up. have turned down a couple of people because of travel times and such.I am just now moving after a cup of coffee. had too much to drink last night and have missed my morning appointment, an altzheimers patient who doesn't even know that I am coming and will see her this afternoon. I must shower this morning as it has been 5 days, yikes!
need another cup of coffee.
bizi