I'm agitated in general today, and my cats aren't helping matters…

Buddy was being especially obnoxious this morning, climbing all over me, my laptop, computer table, and printer. I picked him up to move him and the little **** bit me! He's never bitten me before!

Then Dottie wouldn't stop trying to get into the kitchen cabinets and the doors kept banging. She finally did get in, and I had a really hard time pulling her out. She got stuck in the wall a few years ago and I ended up having to cut a big hole under the kitchen sink to get her out, but she's fatter now and I don't know if I could get her out if she got stuck again. I tried using packing tape to keep the cabinets shut, but Rocky started to chew on it. He has a thing for tape. Now they're closed with masking tape. I guess the smell of that adhesive turns him off. Whatever works.

ugh! sorry he bit you!
my cat bit me the other day too!
Not fun but not a hard bite, more like a warning one.
bizi

I finally have the appointment with the gastroenterologist tomorrow. Actually, I think I'm meeting with his NP. I'm still having the same issues, but the protonix is giving me a little more relief than the prilosec. I really don't want to have a bunch of expensive and/or invasive tests, but I'm looking forward to seeing what the gastro can do to help. I'm down to 3 cups of coffee a day, but I can't go any lower than that or I'll turn into Rip Van Winkle. I'm sure they won't like hearing that. Some days, I have to take my naps around 11am now as it is, but I usually get up around 6.

The appointment is at 2:30. If I get that ****ing letter today it's going to be almost irresistible not to head to the DMV beforehand instead of doing the rational thing which would be waiting until Friday when I'm free, but I would have plenty of time to do both.

Something I haven't thought a lot about in a while is I'm going to be anxious when I start driving again because it's been such a long time. I wonder how long it's going to take before I feel comfortable? My husband is going to try to control when I start driving solo, which could prove to be difficult because he isn't happy with the prospect of me driving again. He didn't like my driving before, but it was because I drove like an old lady on the street, and like a bat out of hell on the highway lol.

I haven't been to the club in a couple of weeks. If I'm unable to go to the DMV by Friday I may go. I'm kinda wishy washy about it right now, but I think it's because I haven't been in so long. When you're home all the time, you get used to being there, even if you really don't way to be. I think I just have to make myself go again and I'll be fine.

good luck with all of your waiting.
The club is a distraction for you, and a chance to do something productive and be social, be around other people.
I hope once you get your driving privaleges back you will go more often.
good luck at the gastro appointment.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

sorry you are having problems with your kitty cats. I wonder what prompted him to bite you. they are so mysterious..lately pudge has been so lovey dovey and tiramisu has been a little distant. once i saw two eyes staring at me behind the metal grating of the heater. it was pumpy. i had to wait it out for her to come out. with pudge i had to slash the bottom of the couch open to get it out and use gorilla tape or whatever to close it up. that didn't work so i had the doormen take off the legs. they are too smart for their own good.
bobby

who is pumpy?
was that another cat of yours from the past?
bizi:o

she was pumpkins my second cat. when i went to sleep i put the covers over my head and she would crawl under and suck my ear. she was an abby himalyan mix but looked like a somali a long haired abby. when she died at 17 and 1/2 i cried hysterical for a long time and hardy cried after that. i might have cried after morgan. i can't remember. i think pumpy used up all my tears.
bobby

I got my clearance letter yesterday!!! :):):):):)

I am going to the DMV this morning. They don't open until 10 today because they stay open until 6pm tonight. I want to get there early, if I can, so I don't end up waiting 3 hours to see a hearings officer.
Going today means if they tell me I have to come back in 24 hours because they have to "update the system," my driving record will still be good tomorrow. It would be of no use on Monday though.

It feels surreal and I'm really, really nervous. I'm worried about cabs back and forth because it's quite a ways. I'm afraid they'll say no. I'll find a way to make it work though.

After my shower, I'm going to make sure my paperwork is in order. I'm going to bring everything I have, which is a lot. I doubt I'll need most of it, but you never know.

Please wish me luck…

Surprisingly, my husband doesn't have a problem with the idea of me driving myself to the gastro after the DMV if I get my license back today, but I don't know if I'm ready for that. If I have enough time, I will try to take a short drive before the appointment to test my confidence first.

Taking the legs off the couch was a great idea Bobby! Problem solved.
Buddy tore a hole in our old box spring and used to hide in there. Our new box spring (which is about 5 years old now) is much higher quality so he hasn't been able to rip it, and can't can't get in there anymore.

I didn't know Dottie was in the wall last time until I was using the bathroom, heard constant meowing, and couldn't find out where it was coming from. My husband used a flashlight to get a good look behind the pipes under the sink and found her. It turned out to be a big project and took a long time to get her out. I just had to put fresh tape on the cupboard. She's determined to get in there and is driving me crazy.

I wouldn't worry about Tiramisu being a little distant right now. Cats are weird and go through phases. She'll be lovey-dovey again soon.

I was preventing Buddy from doing something he wanted to do, but I don't know what he was thinking beyond that when he bit me because I was handling him gently as usual. He's only bitten me once in 9 years so I'm not worried about him doing it again, but I'm still shocked he did it.

Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

I had a cat I loved like that. His name was Stinky. When I would go to bed, I would lay on my back and he would lay down the length of my body with his head on my chest and purr me to sleep. When I would turn over, he would lay down by my feet. When my sister took in a stray my mother made them both outside cats, and Stinky good run over by a car and died next to our front steps trying to get home. I was 13 and had never cried so hard.

We all love our fur babies. I think especially when we don't have children.
bizi

how very painful......i can't imagine the pain
bobby

i didn't think of that but since i was very little i always loved animals...even when i got bitten.
bobby

Even when the kids are around sometimes the animals get more attention.

Mainly because my kids are older and not here a lot.

Angel isn't happy he is wanting more attention it seems than he is getting.
Now as long as he doesn't get in the way of my fan at night while I sleep
he gets plenty I hope. But that fan is my link to air.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Kay,


Fantastic news! :Excited:

I really hope that the trip to the DMV today went well.:circlelove:

M

i missed it...can't find it...fantastic
blind bobby

I'm a licensed driver again!!! :):):):):)

It's a MASSIVE RELIEF that this long, awful ordeal is FINALLY over!!! :):):):):)

I got to the DMV 10 minutes before they opened, but there was already a line of at least 40 people outside. My hearing form had #17 on it. I waited over 4 hours before my name was called…
When I entered the office, the hearings officer simply said, "You're all set, Kathryn," handed me 2 pieces of paper, and told me to take it to the green window. Apparently everything she needed was on the computer and I didn't need any of that ****ing paperwork. After 4 hours I was in there less for than 30 seconds and it was over with.
At the green window I was given an express ticket and filled out an application while I waited for my number to be called. I had my license back $500 and less than ten minutes later, but had to wait another 20 minutes for my cab to arrive.

I had to have the cab take me to my appointment with gastro and I got there by the skin of my teeth. I know that I have multiple upper GI problems so they were able to convince me to have the upper GI. I've had one before. I'm not worried about it, just not happy about it. That's going down next month on the 24th. I guess they didn't call me in for an earlier appointment because my PCP's notes were really focused on the constipation? They said I should have called them directly. Apparently this doctor did my first upper GI.

I've been taking cabs frequently for a year and a half because of all of my appointments and I've gotten to know and like a lot of the drivers. I said goodbye to two of my favorites yesterday. The guy who took me to the DMV was so happy to do it… he even stayed a little later yesterday so he could be the one to pick me up. They're good people, and I will miss them.

I'm going for a short drive today, and the first thing I'm going to do is drive through Dunkin Donuts and get an iced coffee! I used to go all the time and it's something that has become a very rare treat because I haven't been able to get out. Then I'm going to the butcher shop… that's been a long time, too. I want to cook up some real steaks tonight to celebrate my victory at the DMV :)

I'm really looking forward to talking about what what's going on, what I'm doing, or how I'm feeling vs. talking about trying to get my license back all the time. All the paperwork's going in the filing cabinet today when I get home. I don't want to see any trace of the ordeal. It's all over now, and time to put the whole thing to bed :):):)

:You-Rock::Dancing-Chilli::Dancing-Chilli::Dancing-Chilli:

I am so happy for you that you are done with all of that.
yeah!!!!!!
4 hours must have been such a long wait....ugh!
but you did it.

glad that you were able to say good bye to a couple of your favorite drivers. that was nice.

june 24 is a long time to wait for your upper GI....

steaks sounds like a lovely way to celebrate.
so happy for you.
bizi

to the roof...i am so happy for you.
love
bobby

Wonderful news Kay.

Hip Hip Hooray.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

As it turns out I had zero confidence problems driving and I made every maneuver aside from parallel parking!

I got my iced coffee and thoroughly enjoyed it! :)

I decided to vacuum the disgusting car to the best of my ability, which isn't that impressive, but it's better than nothing and my husband will still be happy. I will be sore tomorrow. Afterwards I got it washed and sprayed "new car smell" under the seats.

I did hit the butcher shop, where I bought 2 beautiful filet mignons :) I made mashed last night, but I think I'm still going to make potatoes again… roasted.

I ran out of half and half this morning and was able to pick some up at the convenience store myself instead of asking my grumpy husband to do it for me on his way home from work :)

I was only out for about 2 hours, but I felt free as a bird… :):):)


Unfortunately, the front passenger side window won't go down… more $$$$… just what we need! There's a recall on the car that needs to be taken care of, so I made an appointment to get that fixed on Monday and get an estimate to fix the window. I hate to give up the car so soon after getting my license back, but if the window needs to be fixed, it needs to be fixed. I hope the ****ing window just starts working again this weekend so I can put it off and just have the recall taken care of. Someone from the dealership will bring me home when I drop off the car and pick me up when it's finished for free.
My husband's going to be super ****** when I tell him :( I really hope the window starts working again…

how old is the car? could it still be under warranty?

Kay,

It is good to hear you out and about.

M

The window was working again when we got into the car yesterday (thank God), so obviously it will be an intermittent nuisance. We're not going to have it fixed. The car's a 2010, so the warranty's up. We purchased an extended warranty, and unfortunately that is up too.

The car will be paid off in October. My husband hates the car and can't wait to get rid of it. I was hoping to keep it for another year, put the money we were paying for it monthly in savings for a while, and then use that towards a downpayment on a new car, but the problem with the window helps make the case for trading it in earlier.

A lot of the reason why my husband hates the car is because it was so filthy. He had a huge smile on his face when he saw how good the car looked after I vacuumed it. He'll enjoy it more now… He should have cleaned it himself earlier.

We went to get cigarettes yesterday. It's about a 20 min drive each way. My husband said he was driving. He didn't understand why I was not happy about that… I just got my license back. I thought I kinda made sense for me to drive, and I wanted to, but I ended up caving 1) because I didn't want him to get mad because he thought I was being bitchy and 2) because I figured he freak out the whole way if he was next to the passenger side window if it wouldn't go down. We're going out to run a couple of errands today and I'm driving.

This push pull is normal I think, you know what he is like and you know how to deal with him.
I guess you have to pick your battles.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Kay,

I am so happy to hear that you are back driving your car.:yahoo: :Bow: :trampoline:

M

I had to take an early nap again at about 11:30am yesterday and didn't get up until after 5pm!!! I didn't set an alarm, and for some reason my husband just let me sleep. So we never got to running errands. I still slept from 11:30pm-6 this morning.

I'm supposed to drop my car off at the dealership at 10:30 so they can take care of the recall. I think the last time I went through this they kept it because they ended up not having the parts in stock… I should call before I go to make sure they have them this time before I go.
My husband doesn't think the oil needs to be changed because there's only 21K miles on the car (and it's a 2010). So the last time the oil was changed I drove it in, and it's long overdue. So I'll have them do that, too.
I'm not even going to have them look at the window…

That $500 fine didn't exactly put us in a position to afford a costly repair right now. I'm SO glad that there will be no more fines and fees, no more cringing at the ATM withdrawing money over and over again for cab fare. I'm so lucky I had a clean driving record before this. Our insurance only went up $45/mo. which is far less than I expected and a lot less than what I was paying for in cab fare…
We'll be able to start saving money again now that this is over.

I'm going to pick up my prescriptions before I drop off the car. My husband was always bitching about driving me to the drugstore "all the time" (I take 9 prescriptions now and go 3-4 times a month), so it's something else I'm happy I'm able to do myself now…

I really don't know what he's going to do now that he won't have all these "favors" to hold over my head, or can't complain about further martyring himself now. Aside from the control aspect, I think that's part of why he wasn't thrilled at the prospect of me driving. I hope he feels a sense of relief that he doesn't have to do little things like that anymore and gets off the ****ing cross.

lol..even though this is really serious boy do you make me laugh.lol
bobby

yes what will he have to hold over your head....nothing!
bizi

K


Access to a working, insured, clean, favor-free car represents independence and so much more.
Keep finding enjoyment in your success.


M

Thank you ladies :group hug:
I don't mind you laughing in the least Bobby.

He will hold money, everything he's done for me in the past, and anything he does for me in the future over my head. It's the way he is. The nice thing is if we get in a fight now, I can get in the car and drive away.

I need to completely clean out the 3 cat boxes so I have to get a big bucket of litter to fill them after. It's like pulling teeth trying to get him to the pet store. I mentioned last night I could go today and someone at the store could put the litter in my basket, and then into my trunk for me. He got angry for some reason and said, "I don't know why you need to involve other people in our business." WTF?! So no one else is allowed to help me at all so I have to remain completely dependent on him… that's so controlling and territorial he may as well just pee on me! I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to go anyway. It's unlikely he'll take me until Saturday and the boxes will need topping off before then if I don't change them. I think it's silly to buy litter I'm going to throw away in a few days anyway.


The dealer had the parts for my car. They said with the oil change the wait would only be about an hour so I sat in the waiting room. I was there from 10:15am to just past 1pm. It guess it still made more sense than getting a ride home and getting one back though. They got me for $45 for an oil change and a tire rotation. It's been a long time, but I thought that was pretty steep.

While I was outside smoking a butt, I found a $10 bill. I felt guilty picking it up, but it ended up paying for lunch at McDonalds. I should have known better than to eat that crap. I felt like I was having a heart attack afterwards… bad karma I guess.

They get you on the tire rotaion unless you bought the tires from. OR perhaps they used the premium oil full synthetic which then you don't have to change every 5,000 miles. You should find out which one they used. My guess is that they charged you $20 bucks for the tire rotation.
bizi

They didn't use the synthetic. I remember my husband said that they have to tell you if they use synthetic, because once they do, you can't use regular oil again after that, but he could be wrong.

I'm sure it was more expensive because of the tire rotation. And having it done at the dealership vs. a local mechanic was probably a factor, too.

We've never had to have any work done on this car that wasn't a recall (knocking on wood), but I have a good mechanic I use for inspections and oil changes. He worked on my old cars and told me he didn't want to fix the last one anymore because it was time for me to throw in the towel… very good mechanic.

Hate to say it. But oil changes have gone up.

But then we do use the synthetic or whatever its called also. I have
never been told nothing else can be used.

Interesting, not that I try to use anything else. But when you need
oil you use what you have. And if I'm not home I might not find
the stuff we use.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

When We lived in arizona before we moved south, we had a very good mechanic. He would come to our house or rather meet us at auto zone so he would have the parts there to purchase as he needed them.
He always would put a white towel on the pavement to not get dirty. He was very clean and was reasonable in price. I miss Rick.
Now we just take it to firestone where we buy tires and get free tire rotations. They told me that my car had a recall fo the air bag but the parts were not in so they will let me know.
bizi

When I went to the DMV and my license privileges were restored, they issued me a temporary (paper) license even though I was allowed to keep my old one. My real license came in the mail yesterday :) Horrible picture!!! lol

I decided not to go get the cat litter because I don't want to deal with my husband's BS right now. I'm going to give him some time to adjust to the idea that I'm driving again, but at some point we're going to have to talk about these kind of issues if they persist.
The next time I decide to go somewhere like PetCo, I'm just not going to tell him in advance ;)

I have a pdoc appointment today. I don't have much to report. My anxiety has gone down a lot now that I've gotten my license back and the bureaucratic ******** is over, although anxiety is still a significant issue in the am.

I have to have my endoscopy done in the hospital because how the anesthesia may effect me because of the heart block and the meds I take so I have to wait a month… I wish they could do it now :(
In the meantime, I'm still taking the protonix (which is slightly better than prilosec) and gaviscon (which is 100x better than tums).

When I saw my pdoc yesterday I made the last minute decision to admit that I burned myself with the cigarette on purpose. I've never done anything like that before. I had been forgetting to put the 100mg seroquels in with my night pills for at least a week.. don't know how long. I was having a lot of breakthrough anxiety/OCD symptoms and was a ****ing mess dealing with the license **** and thinking about my drinking. I did it after the second night in a row of fighting with my husband.

I did it to punish myself. I didn't feel anything (MS), so I didn't get anything out of it, and I'm horrified I did it. The fact that it got infected is more disturbing. I won't be doing it again.

My pdoc said that my anxiety disorders were out of control because of all the stress and missing the 100mg of seroquel that usually controls that ****. She thinks that the cigarette burn was a symptom of lack of impulse control. We talked through it, and she's satisfied that I understand why I did it, that I won't do it again, and that I'm stable now that I'm taking my meds properly again (I'm going by my med list when I fill my pill case).

Burning myself with a cigarette is pretty ****ing bad, but when you think of the fact that I was missing 100mg a day of seroquel, and you consider what I'm capable of, I think I'm pretty ****ing lucky that's all that happened.

Even though I've been back on the correct dose of seroquel for a couple of weeks, it's going to take me a while before I get my anxiety back to what I'd like to think is baseline… but at least I'm only dealing with GAD now (not that that is any picnic), and it's mostly in the morning which is normal for me.

Yes, I have an appointment with my therapist. It's next week.

I am so glad that you were truthful to her. And that she was so supportive of you.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

That was not an easy thing to admit, thank you for not judging me :hug::hug::hug:

My pdoc is wonderful. When I got into her office I was immediately comfortable. I knew it was safe to tell her and it was the right thing to do. She is very supportive. My PCP and husband still think the burn was an accident, and it will stay that way.

I have a lot of insight. I can usually analyze what's going on pretty well, but I sometimes have a hard time expressing how I'm actually feeling, and obviously have a hard time controlling what's going on at times no matter what my logic is telling me. It's ****ing frustrating.


I spoke to an agent at my auto insurance co. on Monday to make sure a prior cancellation notice would be voided, and it was, so that's all set. She never mentioned that our payments were no longer being directly withdrawn from our checking account and we missed a payment (for a random amount) the day before… I got an email last night saying our policy was in danger of being canceled because of it, but we never even received a bill or email before then. So I freaked out, then made a one time payment online so we'll be okay. I guess I'll have to contact the insurance co. directly to set up direct withdrawals. Maybe then all the DUI business will be over?

I'm going to go to the club today. I feel a little weird because it's been quite a while. I had planned on heading over for the morning meeting at 9am, but I actually slept in this morning until 7 and decided I'm going to take my time and be a little lazy today. I'm not going to spend a long time there. I don't want to get over tired because I'm driving myself.

I'm probably going to fade faster today because it's going to be close to 80 degrees and I don't do well in the heat d/t the MS. I have to wear long sleeves now, which makes it worse, but I know from last year it will just take me a couple of weeks to adjust to wearing them no matter how hot it gets.

I am glad that you are going to the club today.
:)
bizi

I never made it to the club yesterday…

I was uncomfortable after getting dressed and got a good look at my rear end in my now painted-on jeans in the mirror and decided I needed to go shopping. I am over 160lbs now and not happy to be here, but as long as I am, I am going to make sure I dress for my size. The last 5lbs snuck up on me. I bought a new pair of Levis at Kohl's for $33.

Later I walked to the leasing office to put money on the laundry card instead of stopping off on my way home. I'm getting out of the house… hopefully those $33 size 12's will be temporary.

I'm tired, but was a little animated and excitable earlier this morning. Add that to the shopping (I also hit TJ Maxx), the WAY I shopped, and the desire for more acquisitions, and there's cause for concern.

Not sorry I bought the jeans though. Just glad I had the restraint not to buy anything else.