sounds nice kay.
glad that your cooking helped.
bizi

Via text my brother told me yesterday that my father took out a loan last year using the family business as collateral, spent the money, and can't afford the payments. My dad called my brother a couple of months ago and apologized to him because he was going to lose the business (my brother was going to inherit the majority of it). My dad told me that business was bad this season, but never mentioned the business was in jeopardy. He only mentioned his personal finances.

My father's whole identity is tied up in this business.

This substantially increases the risk of s/s. His whole life is crumbling. He needs help now.

My bad aunt owns shares in the business, but he has never told her about any problems. My brother told her about a week ago. She's visited him since, but he still didn't mention anything.
Since she understands my dad's identity rests on the business, and knows about his depression and personal financial problems, she'll believe me when I tell her about my dad's s/s ideation. She also loves my dad and has access to his wife. I think asking her to intervene is the best route to take.

I think if I went straight to my father's wife, she wouldn't believe me, and it would cause a **** show and add more stress for my father.

My father and his wife are on their way to FL right now. They're driving. They left yesterday.
I'm going to call my aunt later today. She can't call his wife while they're on the road. She'll have to wait until they get there.

I feel sick.

Kay,


Yes, asking your aunt to intervene is a good move.

I am very sorry that you are going through this.

M

I called my aunt and she and my cousin have had their own concerns. My father told her he doesn't expect to live to see the 1st of the year, but said it was his cancer that came back (BS).

She's going to call my dad's wife. I hope she listens and can do something about it.

I would never be able to have forgiven myself if I had waited to do something.

I see pdoc next week. I will need close monitoring.

Oh, Dear!

Sorry, Kay, that your aunt seems uninterested / preoccupied.

You did well to call her. I hope her call to the wife is helpful.

M

Kay, I am so glad that you did something and called your aunt.
She can call his wife etc. as you said.

I hear that you are worried....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I'm meant to say my aunt and cousin were concerned about my dad too.
I'm sorry it didn't come across right.

It is o.k. I get it now.

M

what stress you are going through. you sound so stable/ i know this sounds stupid but you can only do what you can only do.
bobby

My aunt called my father's wife yesterday and left a message. No call back yet. I'm hoping it's because the ***** was still driving and didn't regard the call as urgent. My aunt's back to work today, and she'll be unable to answer the phone and talk if she gets a call while she's working. My aunt thinks her call will be returned. I'm not so sure. The ***** will likely expect some nefarious motive for the call, and perhaps have my father return the call instead.

There is no one else in my family who cares enough to get involved with the exception of my other aunt, but my father and his wife won't speak to her over something petty and childish.

I've decided that if my aunt can't get my dad's wife to call her back, I will call her myself. The best thing I could hope for is for the call to go straight to voicemail right away and leave as much as I can in the form of a message appealing to her love for my father. If she did answer the phone, she'd likely berate me with burning insults and swears and hang up. If she did, I would keep calling and swallow the insults repeatedly if she wouldn't let me speak- until she stopped answering and I could leave the message.

This isn't solely about concerns about my father. It stirs up memories and feelings about my s/s attempt and the events leading up to it at a time when I'm already vulnerable, but denial is preventing me from viewing my father from being the villain in any way. It's about him, but it's about me, but it's because everything I went through that I have a greater sense of urgency to do everything I can to try to keep him safe. It's a mind ****.

I'm starting to show cracks now...
I've started to have intrusive thoughts again, I'm experiencing unpleasant imagery (especially troubling), and have been having some skipping, racy thoughts (hopefully due to anxiety).

There hasn't been any increase in energy or decreased need for sleep. And I don't experience OCD symptoms during hypomania. I'm not showing any overt symptoms of depression either. I think all my symptoms are due to anxiety, but I feel like these things are signaling that my stability is in jeopardy.

When I started taking Seroquel it was pretty effective in controlling the intrusive thoughts and unpleasant imagery...

When I was really struggling with GAD, pdoc was talking about 50-100mg of Seroquel w/wo the Klonopin. I just took 50mg of Seroquel on top of 1.5mg of Klonopin to see if it helps with the imagery or intrusive thoughts.

I see her Wednesday. We'll probably be back to weekly or biweekly appointments again to monitor things closely
I'm going to start documenting things again. If I do swing, both Seroquel and Neurontin can be lowered or raised as needed.

Other concerns have faded, but they're still there. Just off in a far corner of my mind.