Congrats about the faucet!!

Good luck with the stove.


M

Yesterday morning I took my ****ing day and nights pills by accident again :o I have bright orange warning stickers with "PM" written on them over the night time sections of my pillminder to prevent me from taking those pills absent-mindedly, and it's worked for a long time. I don't know what else I could do to prevent me from making that mistake again.

It took me a little while before I figured out what was going on. It's an absolutely miserable feeling, and it's REALLY dangerous to have that much Seroquel in you when you already have trouble walking... my legs were buckling. I've slept it off in the past, and that's how I decided to deal with it again this time. I didn't take any meds last night, and haven't taken any yet this morning either, but I still don't feel quite right.

Despite having 3 cups of coffee, I kinda feel like I might have to go back to bed. It's early (about 6:30), but I'm hesitant because I don't know how long I'll sleep if I do lay down, and I have things I absolutely have to do today. I guess I'll try taking my morning pills and see how they hit me.

I lost the day yesterday, so I never got around to fixing my shopping list or going to the grocery store. That will be my first priority today. But I have to go to NH to buy cigarettes, too. I may/may not get to the butcher shop, but I know I won't get around to doing the laundry, which hasn't been touched in a week.

On the upside, I ended up taking a MASSIVE amount of bowel meds along with all the other pills, and that worked out well for me this morning lol.

Thank God for small favors.
(((((HUGS))))))
we are all human.
bizi

i think that is a huge favor! lol

My morning meds did not go down well yesterday. I slept from about 8:30am until 1:30pm, and still woke up feeling off and terrible. I took a shower, but got nothing else done.

I think I got so screwed up this time because I'm on more Seroquel than I was last time, I'm taking lithium again, and I'm not as healthy as I was the last time I ****ed up.

I'm feeling much better this morning though :)

I am really behind because I lost those two days, and there are a million things that should be done... But I'm going food shopping and buying cigarettes because those things have to be done, and everything else will just have to wait.

You must have been dieing!
congratulations on a big win!
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

What a game!!! When the Pats finally found their rhythm and got some momentum, they just would not relent. Unbelievable... :):):)

My husband had a few too many and went to bed about 15 minutes before the Patriots' game-tying touchdown, so of course he missed the overtime win, too. When he gets home, he's going to tell me that it doesn't bother him that he missed it, but I know better.

I didn't get to bed until midnight last night because I was so excited about the whole thing. I actually slept in and didn't wake up until almost 8am, which is a minor miracle.

So, I didn't wake up early enough to get laundry in. But there's cleaning to do around here that I didn't get to because I lost 2 days last week. I need to figure out what needs to get done today without overdoing it... still working on that.

I took my 4th cold shower in a little over a week on Saturday so I called the management office with some unkind words. The girl on the phone said it sounded like we are having problems with our water regulator. I have no idea how they would check on that/fix that... I hope that my shower would not be inoperable for any length of time... I think I would lose my ****. I still haven't called about the stove or the mysterious new orange stains on my kitchen ceiling. To say that I'm frustrated with maintenance issues would be a gross understatement. I hate this ****ing place!!!

oh kay,
I am so sorry about your lack of hot water! I would be ****** off too.
You know how I hate taking showers....I would just rot if I had to take a cold shower.
Got up late today...don't feel like working truth be known.
It has been along time since I felt this way.
I see my new therapist this thursday. I am dreading it. My idea but unknown territory if you know what I mean.
I want to go back to bed but can't.
Congratulations again on the pats, glad for you!
Be careful today.
((((hugs)))))
love you
bizi

Bizi, everybody has to have a day every now and then when they just wish they could jump back in bed and hide under the covers all day. I'm surprised you don't have more of them! I don't blame you for dreading the visit to the therapist (I hate going). Therapy is something that's hard to initiate, and you had a rather unpleasant experience with the last therapist. You will probably feel a lot better after you go on Thursday tho.

Nobody came about the cold showers yesterday. The email the office sent me regarding the maintenance request only said "general," so I don't know what information they provided to maintenance, and if they will even follow up. But the next time I end up stuck with shampoo in my hair when the water turns freezing cold, I'll be paying the office staff a visit.

I only got around to vacuuming yesterday, but it's a big job for me, so that's enough. I don't know if it was the vacuuming or how I slept during my nap, but I pulled something low in my neck/high in my back/my right shoulder and it's killing me. I NEED to get some laundry done today. There are some smaller things I can do, and I will pick one or more from that list to do depending on how I feel.

The parade for the Patriots is in Boston today, but the weather is going to be terrible. I'm obviously not going lol. It's not something I'd watch on TV either.

The weather is going to prevent me from getting some errands done, too. I swear it's been a mess every Tuesday for weeks now. At least I don't have an appointment I have to get to today.

I would march over there every day and put it in writing...
ugh!
bizi:hug:

I think I'd take my shampoo leave it outside the door but put it in my
hair when I get there looking like I came that way. And go in and demand somewhere with good hot water to rinse it out.

As many times as it takes.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Nobody has come or called about the cold showers. Maybe maintenance thinks it's an issue with the hot water issue vs. a problem with our apartment. I don't care what the problem is... It's unacceptable, and I'm going to hit the ****ing roof if it happens again!

The weather was terrible yesterday, but it finally stopped snowing a couple of hours ago. It's going to start snowing again early tomorrow morning into the evening, and we're expecting snow flurries all day Saturday... yuck!

I have several errands to run, but I have to give the plows a chance to get things around town cleaned up. I'm going to have a pretty narrow window to get things done so I have to be careful about how I spend my time and energy. I'll have to make a list to see if anything I think I have to do can wait until the weather is better on Sunday.

I hope they get the roads plowed off soon for you so you can get your list of errands done...having to wait until sunday would make me stir crazy.
I am so glad that I don't live in snow any more.
You are a very resilient woman kay. I admire you.
(((((HUGS))))))
love you
bizi

very resilient........truly amazing!

Thank you ladies :grouphug:

The plow came by around 9am yesterday. When I went out to clean off my car, the passenger side was literally a sheet of ice! It took me forever to clean it off, but afterwards I decided to run a couple of errands hoping the ***hole next to me would actually clean off their car so my spot would get fully plowed by the time I got back (it didn't). The roads were already bare when I left..

I did my taxes on Tuesday. I e-filed my federal return, but refused to pay the extra money to file my state return the same way, so I hit the post office to send my state taxes certified mail. Then I played the lottery and got a coffee, and went to CVS to pick up two prescriptions, etc.

I went home to shower before heading back out to drive to NH to buy cigarettes and go to the grocery store. I bought the cat food and litter there and skipped the pet store. I also crossed the butcher shop off my list because it was out of my way and I had already run enough errands. We'll be eating a lot of chicken, but I think my husband will live.

I'm glad I got all those errands done yesterday! I didn't realize we're getting a blizzard and are going to get "at least a foot" of snow with 20-30mph winds with gusts over 40mph. No wonder why the supermarket was a nightmare yesterday! If that's not bad enough, we're going to get more snow tomorrow night, and Saturday, Sunday, and Monday morning :(

I hope my husband gets to come home early from work today. He drives all over the place, and some areas will be getting more than 3" an hour at times. His work is NOT essential, so he should be off the road, and safe at home.

He will have to leave for work early tomorrow morning and will have his hands full cleaning off and digging out his truck. I don't know how in the hell I'm going to be able to do it...
Maybe I will go out this afternoon and clean it off so it won't be as bad tomorrow. IDK. It's supposed to snow until 8pm.

I really feel for you with all of the snow that is expected for you guys.
I grew up in it. Hate it. Never want to live in snow again. We will retire here.
Good luck today with all that you need to do. Glad you got your errands ran yesterday. Hope hubby comes home early.
(((((HUGS)))))
love bizi

The snow started later than expected and didn't REALLY pick up until the afternoon. My husband came home around noon time, so I was happy he wasn't out driving around in it when it became a TOTAL white-out for several hours. We got A LOT of snow, but I have no idea how much because it's light and fluffy and it was SOOOO windy it blew everywhere. Fortunately, that means most cars aren't even covered, including mine, which is VERY good news for me :):):)

A lot of people are home, so that spells trouble for the clean-up process. Many of them aren't going to come out to move their cars as they should, and the ones that do will be fighting over the few spots that the plow is able to clear. I have a reserved space, but I can't park there if the ***hole who parks next to me doesn't move their car so the plow can clear my entire spot. I may end up having to park far away from one of the entrances and have to walk quite a distance around in the parking lot to get inside. I hope that doesn't happen.

More snow tonight.

My husband had his review at work today. He hates his job and has been very angry and frustrated lately. The owners usually ask for input... I really hope he didn't tell them to go **** themselves lol. It was at 6am, so I think if he quit or was fired I would have at least heard about that by now (it's after 7:30).

how are you?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Cleaning off my car yesterday was so easy! :) And the plow had already cleared a lot of spaces by the time I got out there :)
Bomebody parked in my spot while I made a coffee run even though there were plenty of other free spots. I knew who did it, and she was nearby, so I asked her nicely not to do it again. I think she was embarrassed to find out I was handicapped. By the time my husband got home from work, she had moved her car, so he moved mine into my space.

We were only supposed to get 1-3" of snow last night, but it looks like we got a bit more than that, and it's not the fluffy stuff this time. It's supposed to snow on Sunday morning, and we'll continue to get snow and mixed precipitation until Monday night.

My husband's review went well. The owners are very happy with him, and he held his tongue. He's getting another raise, but doesn't know when he will get it, or how much it will be yet. I hope that between the praise he received from ownership, his pending raise, and upcoming vacation will help make work more tolerable for him. He's been on call this week, had to go out last night, and wasn't very happy with that though. But it's part of his job, and he isn't on call very often because there are a lot of employees at his company.


Cause for concern:
For the last couple of days, I've been reminiscing quite a bit about old (and some pretty unpleasant) things and kinda putting things into perspective, which is usually not a good thing for me, but I can't seem to stop doing it. The wheels keep turning. I am not suicidal, but I've also started to have intrusive thoughts (OCD) about self-harm again. It's nothing new, but it's been quiet for a while. My anxiety is higher, so this may just be OCD run amuck, but it could also be a sign that I'm having a mood disturbance. Sometimes I have a hard time trying to tell the difference between heightened anxiety with/without worsening OCD and hypomania until my symptoms get worse, but I get the feeling that I'm hypomanic again now because klonopin is not really controlling the anxiety, which means it's probably not really all anxiety... not good.

I don't think my pdoc will be in the office until Tuesday, but I will call to make an appointment for ASAP. Usually she would bump up my Seroquel, but I'm maxed out at 800mg, so this is going to take some creativity on her part. Hopefully by the time I see her next week what's going on will become clearer, and that will make both of out lives easier as long as this doesn't get much worse.


I'm supposed to have surgery March 3rd to remove an unsuspicious ovarian cyst that's a little on the large size at 5cm because it's been giving me problems. While I'm out, my GYN is also going to remove a birth control implant in my arm called Nexplanon that's also been giving me problems, and I'm going to get my tubes tied so I don't have to mess around trying to find another birth control method that doesn't induce mania or cause other unpleasant side effects. I'm not worried about the surgery. I'm actually looking forward to it. I hope that whatever's going on psych-wise doesn't end up delaying the surgery.

things sound very good despite your worries. problems will be solved. your husband sounds appreciaataed. maybe he could ask them if he would give him closer places to work,. maybe it hasn't crossed theiir mind.
good about not having hormones. they can play havoc. you will fly through
love
bobby

kay, are you going to have the ovaries removed too? or just the cyst?
bizi
sorry I forget.

Kay
If they remove the ovaries you shouldn't have to have tubes tied.

When they removed mine it stopped periods and gave me peace
of mind for pregnancy. Not sure it does for all stop periods. I was
at the age it should.

I chose to have both ovaries removed. Only reason given to keep was
pregnancy.


Donna :hug::grouphug:

my gyn talked me out of tubal ligation saying the risks for ectopic pregancies was great....
sigh
bizi

The ovaries release hormones. I'm only 36, and don't want to go through menopause now, so I'm keeping them. My GYN said that she will be able to cut out the cyst and spare my ovary.

I'm actually going to have my tubes cut out or burned off vs. having them tied or clamped. My grandmother had ovarian cancer. Even though it was late in life, I have an increased chance of getting it, and I guess getting rid of my tubes reduces the risk somehow. The family history of ovarian cancer is still not a reason to remove my ovaries at 36.
.

We were supposed to get a lot of mixed precipitation over the course of the day today, but sometime overnight the forecast changed completely. Now we're supposed to get 5-8" of snow today, 8-12" overnight, and another 3-5" tomorrow morning!!! :(

Thank you for clarifying that kay.
Tell me again when is your surgery?
Once she gets in there she will have a better idea what she is looking at. Even if she had to take the one ovary you would still benefit from the remaining ovary hormonal wise.
I think I told you that the hot flashes went away. but I started my period yesterday. sigh
it had been 4 months with out. I thought I was all done.
oh well it is what it is.
love to you this morning.
bizi

My surgery is scheduled for March 3rd, but there's a chance she could do it earlier on the 27th if she has an opening. My husband has taken the week off, so either day would work for me.

I'm sorry you got your period again, Bizi. It must be disappointing to have to deal with it since you thought you were off the hook.

You are right... the GYN won't know for sure if she can spare the ovary or not until she gets in there. I'm going to allow her to use her best judgement even if it means losing one ovary. The cyst has been causing pain, bleeding, and at this point is complicating my issues with constipation and urinary retention. If it has shrunk significantly since the ultrasound by the time of the surgery, I guess that's a sign it will resolve on its own in time, and she may not remove it if it means she will have to remove the ovary. Either way, I'm having the tubal ligation.


We only got a foot of snow on Sunday. My ***hole husband didn't clean off the car for me before he went to work, but I was fortunate that a nice neighbor offered to help me because my car had to be shoveled out a bit. I fell once, but it was in a lot of snow, and I had A LOT of close calls.

I feel really beat up from the fall. I checked myself for bruises, but I don't have any, probably because I fell in the snow. I was going to go out today, but I don't feel much like it now. My husband texted me this morning to warn me that the walkway is a sheet of ice, so I guess going out today isn't a good idea at all.

We were supposed to get more snow over the next couple of days, but fortunately the forecast has changed. We'll get some mixed precipitation tomorrow, but there will be no accumulation, and the forecast after that is dry.

oh stay safe!
love
bobby

Oh kay, I am so sorry you fell.
You must have good bones.
Happy valentines day to you.
(((((HUGS)))))
love you
bizi

:hug:I'm so sorry you fell. Please stay in and warm if possible.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I broke my hand/wrist/thumb in a fall in my early 20's, but I've had countless falls since then and have had no major injuries... I do have good strong bones! :)
I'm still sore from the fall, but I feel better than I did yesterday. I'm feeling very lucky that I fell in the snow.

It's supposed to rain most of the day today, but it's supposed to be above freezing by 10am, and the high will be 40 degrees. I think it will be safe to go out. If the walkway is still icy, I will call the office and tell them that someone from maintenance needs to come by and treat it before I leave.

I really need to go to the ATM to get cash to reload the laundry card because I haven't had enough on the card to do any laundry for a while so I'm way behind! I should also do a little food shopping and hit the butcher shop. I wish I was heading out on a more pleasant day, but at least I'll be getting out.

As usual, we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. Normally I would make filet mignon for dinner, but I haven't been able to get out to the butcher shop. I ended up making hamburgers and salad instead lol. Afterwards I ate more chocolate (I bought myself) than I should have.

My husband said he's taking me out to lunch on Saturday to a Mexican restaurant that just opened nearby though. We never go anywhere, so I'm really looking forward to it, and to trying the new place. Afterwards we're shopping for a new TV because he's been wanting a new one for a while, and there are some big sales going on, but he's been given a strict spending limit.

I am happy for you. your husband is beginning to sound a little tame.!

Oh, he is not tame... he cracked his first beer at noon on Sunday and drank for 9 hours straight, so I had to deal with that. He has a 3 day weekend ahead of him, and I'm sure I'll have to deal with more of it.

It didn't rain yesterday like as forecasted. It wasn't sunny, but it the weather was a lot more pleasant than I expected, and I got my errands done.
Surprise! We got a couple more inches of snow last night, and it's still snowing :(
I hate the Weather Channel app! It's been totally unreliable.

I got my disability update report in the mail a couple of days ago. It's a periodic review to check whether or not I still qualify to receive SSA benefits. Sometimes it triggers a full review of a person's medical records. I have been stressing over what I should write in the "additional information" section. But I reread the instructions this morning, and found out that they are not looking for the information I thought they were. The form will be easy to complete now, and I can mail it tomorrow, so I am relieved. I really hope I don't have to go through a full review.

I am almost done my 2 loads of laundry even though somebody beat me to it this morning. I still have a ton left to do... maybe I will suck it up and try to get more done tomorrow morning?

I forgot to buy bread at the store yesterday, and my husband ran out of cigarettes, so it looks like I may have to go out again today. I ran a lot of errands yesterday and am very tired this morning, so don't like the idea of going out 2 days in a row one bit.

if it is snowing please don't go out okay? your husband is something else.
doesn't he feel uncomfortable? I ama so sorry
love
bobby

Kay, you have a difficult life. I admire your strength.
I am very glad the form ended up being a simple one for you and yes I hope
they don't require a full audit.
Please be safe if you have to venture out today.
sending warmth and protection
love bizi
(((((HUGS)))))

Thank you ladies :grouphug:
My life has always been hard, so I suppose I'm conditioned to handle all kinds of bull****. That's all it is.

Maintenance came yesterday to treat the water damage on our kitchen ceiling. I guess the dishwasher in the apartment above us was leaking. I'm glad he suggested I lock the cats up in a bedroom because the fumes were HORRIBLE because he wasn't using regular paint. Later I found items in the kitchen nowhere near the ceiling had paint film on them. It's very greasy and was difficult to clean. I'm sure I will continue to find more effected items.

His visit interrupted a conversation with a good friend. I got anxious because I had to find and corral all three cats before he could work on the ceiling, but mainly I ended the conversation because I don't like to talk about anything in front of strangers, and I didn't know how long he would be in the apartment. I think I could have handled things better, and I'm afraid I hurt her feelings and she took things personally. I feel awful :(

There were only very light snow showers before I (reluctantly) went out yesterday, but it was very cold and windy. I just made two quick stops for cigarettes and bread.

I got to the laundry room first this morning and just put two loads in so I won't be so behind. There's a lot of cleaning that needs to be done around here, but I doubt I'll be doing much/any of that because I'm feeling really run down.

Oh, dear! Ceiling is painted but with such a cost.

I am glad you got the cats safely out of the way.

How annoying to have to clean up after the painting.

Good luck with the laundry.



M

Calll your friend back and further explain. She will hopefully understand.
rest today if you are able.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I should have been checking everything in the kitchen for paint residue yesterday because that is what a normal person would do, but I ended up taking a long early nap after I finished the laundry and never even got in the shower.

My husband got up at 2am yesterday so that he could be at a job site by 5am, but when he got there, nobody was there and the equipment he needed hadn't arrived (he was ******). So, he came back home and called it a day. I can't believe it, but he never took a nap and he stayed up until 11pm even though he was drinking. We're supposed to go out to lunch and look at TVs today, but the chances of that happening today look slim. He just woke up and he's out of it.

I sent my friend an email and heard back from her, and I think she understands that my haste to end our conversation wasn't personal at all. I still feel badly though because I know how sensitive she is, and I really do think I could have handled things better. But as long as she is okay now I do feel better.

My surgery is 2 weeks away. A few days ago I got a message from the hospital telling me I needed to schedule a pre-screening appointment (for blood work, etc) prior to surgery. I've called them back several times, but they never answer. I've left 2 messages, but they haven't returned my calls. I don't know when I need to have the screening done by, but I feel like I've fallen through the cracks. I have my pre-op appointment with my GYN on Wednesday and I guess I can ask about it then.

I'm a little worried about the EKG if they do one. I have a slight abnormality in my heart rhythm now, but my PCP looked into it, and told me it's nothing to worry about. I'm a little worried they will make me see a cardiologist prior to surgery since I haven't seen one, and now we're down to the wire. I could be worrying for nothing though. I hope so.

I am sorry kay,
just more stuff to worry about.:(
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I've had surgeries before... I had a septoplasty when I was 17, a fusion to a disc in my neck in 2008, and had my gallbladder out in 2009, but I don't remember how long before the surgeries I had to have the testing done. I didn't have the heart problem until the OD in 2014, so it wasn't an issue for the prior surgeries. I would like to get the pre-screening done ASAP so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

My husband DID take me out to lunch on Saturday! :):):)
I had a HUGE piece of lovely chocolate cake with fudge layers and two scoops of vanilla ice cream for dessert. I haven't had anything remotely like that in what seems like forever, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Diet rules don't apply when your husband finally takes you out somewhere, right? I still haven't weighed myself since because I'm afraid to :o

We went to buy a TV, and the first salesman we talked to was a young fast talking condescending ***hole. We told him what we wanted to spend and he showed us something more than three times that amount. When we told him that was too much, he showed us something twice as much. When it became apparent that he wouldn't show us anything cheaper, I asked why they carried all the other TVs and why other people bought them, he actually said, "ignorance is bliss." At that point, I leaned in to look at his name tag and said, "BRIAN, I think we're just going to look around on OUR OWN." After finding another salesman and letting him know from the outset what we were looking for, we were at the register paying for our TV 15 minutes later.

On the way home, my husband had a hard time navigating the (pretty dangerous) parking lot, lost his ****, and drove home like a ****ing psycho. Then he lost his temper a million times trying to set the TV up when we got home. I was getting pretty ticked off because I felt like he was being ungrateful. It wasn't until a couple of hours (and several beers) later that he finally sat back, relaxed, and started to really appreciate the TV. Now he's very happy with it because it IS pretty awesome and he had been bothered for a long time because we never have anything nice or new because we're always struggling financially. I pretty much knew that already, and that's why I was okay with the TV purchase.

Our Federal tax refund is due to be direct deposited on Thursday. It isn't that big, but it's big enough to cover the cost of the TV with a little bit left over. Our state refund isn't much to write home about.