He does work very hard, Mari. And he works sick, in pain (he has a bad back), never calls out, and likes to give at least a week's notice when taking a day off. For the first two years he was with this company, he took a couple of personal days, but didn't take vacations.

He feels very unappreciated. Obviously his boss didn't listen to him when he mentioned all the travel was taking it's toll, since he sent him all the way down to Nantucket a few days later. Since we're having money problems, I get the impression he feels like he's breaking his back for nothing.

I take all of that into consideration when he misbehaves. I guess I give him a pass because I understand he's under so much stress. I know that doesn't mean his behavior is acceptable though.

Fortunately he was wrong about the ferries, and his contact at the job he was on called, and there was an earlier one, so he got home at 4:30, but that's still about an 11 hour day of work yesterday. He was up a little later than usual, but slept okay, and went into work this morning.


On my end, the colon prep started working about 24 hours after I drank it, which was close to bedtime. It was inconvenient, but at least I got some results.

I'm bloated, so I'm still not weighing myself. I'm working hard on my diet, and don't want to get upset over nothing.

I don't know how I've neglected to mention my depression for so long, but the lithium has been really helping. My mood has been better and my naps have been shorter. I'm still not motivated to do anything, getting myself in the shower is a challenge, and I'm still dwelling on negative things and having unpleasant thoughts though.

My anxiety is controlled with the klonopin, and I think my depression is considerably better than what it was. I can deal with this.

I am so happy to hear that your depression is better.:)
I hope you have a good day!
bizi

so great!!

I woke up looking and feeling a little less bloated this morning, so I weighed myself… 160 even. I'm disappointed, but not surprised.

I was 165lb on my GYN's scale on the 14th. I weighed in at 166lb on my broken scale when I started the diet last Thursday, 162.6 on the new scale the following day, then 159.8 Saturday.
So, I guess I lost about 2.6lbs, which is good, but not for this diet.

I cheated a little early on, maybe Friday night? And drank 28oz of very sugary Gatorade (I didn't know it came sugar-free) for the bowel prep Sunday night, but have been compliant otherwise. The last time I was on this diet, I stopped having sugar and crap cravings after about 2 days, but I was still having them until yesterday because I sabotaged myself, and it's why I'm not seeing the same degree of weight loss I saw the first time around (7 lbs after week 1). I know I lost weight, but I know I can do better if I stick to the diet.

It is highly restrictive in the initial phase. If I follow it to a T, it will be much, much easier to manage. Hopefully I see more weight loss in week 2. It makes all the sacrifices worth it. Most people only do stage 1 for two weeks, but I will probably do it for at least three, because I didn't do a very good job following the diet this week.

I'm going to have to shake up the menu though because my husband is getting sick of eating chicken. I think I'm going to have to make him some separate meals like pasta, english muffin pizzas, or a ham slice so that he doesn't get bored. I added Canadian bacon to my repertoire so I'm not eating turkey bacon twice a day, everyday.



After I used some of the litter in the pail blocking the kitchen cabinets, Dottie was able to push it to the side and get at the cabinet doors. So, I put an empty bucket on top, and that worked out for a couple of days, until she realized she could move that, too…
She woke me up at 5:30 this morning by slamming the cabinet doors again. When I got into the kitchen, I found her under the sink with her head and front paws already in the hole!!!
Right now I have the heavy Poland Springs bottle we throw our loose change into in front of the cabinets, but I don't know how long that will last… she's a big cat and she's obviously highly motivated to get in there. She's sitting in the kitchen staring at the cabinets and crying again…
Meanwhile, the hardware I bought at Lowes a couple of weeks ago is still sitting on the kitchen table untouched. Hopefully my husband will do something now that she was caught partway through the hole. I texted him about what happened this morning, and will call hime this afternoon and ask him to bring his tools in, but he's not going to want to do it today.

He was grouchy yesterday. He was sent to a job 2 hours away in Northern NH yesterday, so that was 4 hours of driving. Clearly his boss didn't listen to, or give a **** about, his appeals to reduce his drive time.


The cats have shredded the scratching posts on the two cat condos we have. I was unable to find sisal rope in a large enough width at my local hardware stores, so I bought it online at Home Depot and had it shipped to the store, and I can pick it up today. I'm going to fix them up with the rope and some wood glue so the kitties can scratch away again :) It will also give me something to do :)


It's not even 8:30am, and I feel ready for a nap already. I guess I never really woke up. An early nap makes sense. Hopefully it's a short one though…

can you have the super come in and fix the hardware? Your husband is probably too exhausted living in that nightmare of driving let alone working.
It sounds like a disaster brewing. what determination. I wonder if there is a rat in there.. Probably not.
bobby
can you spray something?

you want to patch up a hole? under the sink... is that right?
bizi
slightly confused about why the cats want to get in there and why they can't....

I'm also wondering why she wants to get in there. Hoping it can
get fixed soon.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Dottie wants to get in anywhere she can't…
Anytime I go to get my shoes or put them away, she runs into that closet.
Anytime I open the linen closet door, she runs in.
Anytime I open one of the bedroom closets, in she goes.
When she's not working on getting into the kitchen cabinets, she's trying to get into the cabinets under the bathroom sink or break into the bedroom closets (the doors slide)…
She likes to lock herself in the bathroom for some reason, too.
She's a pain in the ***!!! :)

Apparently the noise in the kitchen woke my husband up yesterday morning too, and Rocky was in the thick of it. So, the man who laughed at me for saying they were working in tandem, is calling them Bonnie and Clyde now lol

He had had enough, so while I was taking my nap yesterday, he put the hardware on the kitchen cabinets. It fits tightly, so I don't think there's any way she'll be able to get in there. She's been trying though, and she's frustrated. I'm going to trim her nails so she can't get any leverage at all and won't leave any marks on the cabinet doors.

We don't have any evidence of rodents. When I cleaned out the cabinets there were no droppings of any kind. If there were any seen in nearby apartments, I'm sure the management company would have sent the pest control company by. That's one thing they handle well.

I didn't lay down for my nap until noon yesterday, slept through my alarms, and didn't get up until 4:30!!! :eek:


I take lactulose for constipation… and I know it's a sugar syrup. Last night, I decided to look up the nutrition facts. Right now I'm taking 30ml twice a day (was taking it three times a day), and each dose has 20g of lactulose (and smaller amounts of other sugars) and 30 calories, but the nutritional facts say it has no carbs for some reason. Anyway, I've been taking in 60-90 extra calories every day from something that doesn't even help me. That doesn't help when you're dieting.


I have to do the dreaded food shopping today. I never picked up the rope for the cat condos, so I suppose I'll do that as well. There's a lot on the to-do list, but I doubt I'll get around to any of it. I've been saying it too much lately, but there's always tomorrow.

did you say there is a hole under the sink is that what she gets into? can that hole be fixed?
glad for the fixed hardware....hopefully that will keep her out of there. you coul also put child proof locks on the doors. we had them when we moved in.
good luck with what you have to do today.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

The lactulose is a milk sugar of course.
They can claim that it has no sugar because it is not absorbable:

Lactulose - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Wednesday I weighed 160, this morning I weighed in at 158.6lb :)

I'm going to make myself vacuum today. I hate doing it. After grocery shopping, it's the hardest thing for me to do. I should get it out of the way early, before my shower.

My husband keeps insisting on sleeping with the window open even though it's getting down into the 40s at night now. He says I'm selfish if I ask him to shut it because he's hot. Last night I pulled out the extra comforters and they are disgusting! They are coated with huge fur balls! The cats have obviously been getting into the closet more often then I realized, and laying on them. I'm probably going to take them to the laundromat today because I'm going to need them.

I don't know if I'm going to work on the cat condos this weekend or wait until I'm alone and have time to kill next week. My husband can be a bit of a backseat driver and I don't know if I want to deal with that, but he could also be helpful if I need that.

I forgot to mention I found 2 bugs in my kitchen this morning: one on the Keurig (again), the other in the cabinet above (a first). I caught them both and they're in a ziplock bag. One is alive for now, but the other one is mostly squished. Catching them should help the bug men treat the apartment.

They're coming Tuesday. Unfortunately, that means I'm going to have to empty out all of the cabinets again :(:(:(

I had 2 big cock roaches in the recycling bucket under the sink. UGH! I hate them and did not catch them they are very fast.
bizi

Sorry to hear that.

They are pretty disgusting.



M

The bugs were about 1/4" long, yellowish, and had long legs and antennae. I think it's weird that they're attracted to the coffee machine, and the cabinet where the coffee is, and nothing else. I put my stevia bottles in a ziplock bag in case they are attracted to them. I really, really, really hate the idea of having to move everything out of the cabinets again because it was so hard on me the first time, but I dislike the idea of having bugs in my kitchen more.

The thermometer never reached 60 degrees yesterday, and I kept the bedroom window open all day. It was in the low 50s outside, and really cold in there, by the time my husband went to bed last night, so he let me close the window! :)

I vacuumed, then swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors yesterday. That was more than enough for me for one day…

I never got to the laundromat yesterday, so that's my plan for today.

I also want to get rid of some of the random **** that my husband has left laying around forever, like empty litter pails and the old toilet seat (at least it's in a box). I don't want those things in my kitchen or the cat room, and he never takes any of it out. It will take me several trips, but I'm going to put all of in my trunk, hoping I can throw it in the dumpster. If I can't, my husband can take the car and throw it all in himself… since the work will already be half done.

He's working today, so he will probably be grumpy this weekend, and in the upcoming week. We need the money, but picking up work on Saturdays is always hard on him.

Are they coming to spray this week?
bizi

Pest control is coming Tuesday. I got an email from the management company saying since it was a follow up visit, I didn't need to do anything unless I see bugs in the next week. If I do, call the management office for direction. I guess I will have to call…
I can take everything out of the cabinets, but I know I have to leave for 2 hours if they spray. I don't know if it's safe for the cats to stay in the bedroom or not, but I can't physically carry them out myself.

We live on the first floor, and are partially underground. Our patio is recessed and I make use of that often. When I'm taking groceries out of the trunk, I lay them on the grass in front of the patio, then open the slider to bring them into them apartment so I don't have to keep unlocking the door and going up and down the stairs repeatedly…
I took the laundry and the **** hanging around the apartment in reverse. I put 3 litter pails, a type of cat scratcher that was never used, a toilet seat, and two long florescent light bulb tubes in my trunk in time for my husband to get home from work. He drove over to the dumpster with me and threw them in. I'm very happy to have them all gone. I was tired of waiting for him to do it.

I washed two comforters, a set of sheets, and a set of towels at the laundromat. There was still a lot of cat hair on the blankets, so I decided to use a sticky lint brush to get some of the excess hair off before I put them away. It took a long time, but I feel like the job is done now.

Like an idiot, I realized I left my lights on in my car when I was running out to grab something to make dinner. The battery was dead and the key wouldn't come out of the lock because of the security system. My husband was anxious and angry. He was able to give me a jumpstart, but he was not nice. I hope that the car will be okay, and I won't run into further problems because of my mistake.

There may be a cold war today because I stood up for myself and said my peace, and my husband didn't like it. I don't care, have given out enough free passes. It's time for him to examine some of his behavior, and I hope that happens.

The Pats play at 1pm today and I'm very much looking forward to that. It's the perfect time for a game. It's the last one before Tom Brady comes back, and we're playing the Bills. Both backups are on the injured list, but that doesn't mean they're both out. Brissett will probably play.

I'm tired and sore from activity Friday and yesterday. I'm not doing anything today. I have a feeling I'll need my energy for packing up tomorrow. It makes sense that pest control would want me to have my cabinets cleared out after seeing bugs again.

I hope you enjoy your pats today! You deserve some me time.
(((((HUGS)))))
good for you for sticking up for yourself.
((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

I was a little distant yesterday, and I'm sure my husband sensed that. His simple "I'm sorry" did not have the same effect it has had in the past.

The Pats were shut out yesterday. Our team was led by an injured (right thumb) third string quarterback, but it's no excuse. We were outplayed on both sides of the ball. It was a very frustrating game to watch. I think everyone in New England was speaking in four letter words for all four quarters. Tom Brady is back next week when we play the Browns (0-4) on the road, and he better not have any growing pains after his 4 week vacation. We are 3-1 now, which is far better than anyone thought we would be without him.

I'm waiting for the office to open to find out if I need to clear out the cabinets for the bug men. I can ask about the spraying, but I don't know if the office staff will have any answers about that. I can always put the cats in the back bedroom if they spray, which will be far less comfortable for them. That's where we keep the cat boxes, and there's nothing comfy in there. It would only be for 2 hours though.

Just put a towel on the floor they will find it.
Good luck with the bug men and your hubby.
((((((HUGS)))))
love bizi

Things were okay with my husband last night. He's working for two days with another guy. It's good for him to have the company, and he doesn't have to drive! He had a good day yesterday, so he was in a pretty good mood when he came home, but he was exhausted and in bed at 8pm.

I spoke to "Lisa" in the office yesterday and she said I don't have to clear out the cabinets. I was thrilled!!! I'm going to clean out under the sink and let them know about Dottie obsession about getting under the sink. Maybe they can take a look in that hole…

Yesterday I spent 40 minutes on the recumbent bike. I should be doing it so that my legs don't atrophy, and it should help with the weight loss. I have no excuse not to… I wake up very early and have plenty of free time.

I got on the scale this morning and I was so happy… I weighed 155.2lbs! :):):) That is 7.4lbs down from when I restarted this diet on Thursday 9/22, and the heaviest I ever weighed before I blew up from the seroquel :):):):):)
But weight fluctuates a little during this stage, and if I get on the scale tomorrow, I may be heavier. I won't get on the scale tomorrow. I want to enjoy this :)

That is about the same amount of weight I lost in 1 week on South Beach the first time around, but I started 5 lbs lighter this time. I lost nothing week 2 the first time. My target is 140-145lbs. I guess I will do this for a third week, then start stage 2 where I can start adding in more diverse foods in moderation.

To be honest, I ate 1/2 of a small Fuji apple last night. It's not allowed on this stage of the diet, but it's a hell of a lot better than reaching for the pop tarts!

congratulations kay!!!!!!yippie!!!!!
bizi
who also wants to get down to 140.....:)

Kay
It may not be allowed on this stage but I agree much better than
pop tarts. Which I love.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Yup… cheated and ate the pop tarts last night… unfortunately they were a little stale and a bit disappointing… hardly worth the 400 calories, but I ate them both anyway.
I'm not going to be too hard on myself though. I'm just going to push off weighing myself until Saturday morning.

I don't know if you remember the big hassle I went through, or how much I had to spend, buying a new coat last year? Well, I tried it on this morning and it fit comfortably! I have no doubt that it would NOT have fit me 2 weeks ago… disaster averted… there is no way in hell we would be able to foot the bill for a new coat now.
I wonder if it's time to put the size 12 jeans away and get into the size 10's now, but I'm afraid I haven't lost enough weight in my thighs, which was a major factor in going up a size at the time. Nevertheless, I think I will try a pair of 10s on today though.


The bug men came and I gave them the ziplock bag containing the dead squished bug and the intact one. The one I didn't squish was 1) still alive even though I caught it Friday 2) indeed a cockroach and 3) had given birth to a zillion babies in the bag… YUCK!!! I'm glad I caught it when I did and avoided an infestation… They took it with them. They said they don't even want to leave roaches in the garbage.
They still didn't see any evidence of bugs in our apartment like poop or egg capsules, so they think they are coming from another apartment with occupants who are not reporting the problem. They put out more bait and said if they have to come back, they only need me to clear off the counter and under the sink… Thank God.
If they have to come again, they will spray. I will have to leave, but the cats can stay in a bedroom. If they have to come back, they will also do a walk through of the entire building.
They said they wouldn't automatically follow up, but I got an email from the office telling me they're coming again next Tuesday anyway? I hope they do the walk through of the whole building then so we don't keep getting these disgusting visitors.

OMG...babies in the bag!!!!!! how gross, glad that you caught them when you did!!!!!!
Yes it makes sense that they are coming from other peoples apartments.

they should do a walk thru anyway.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you for the size 10's you are doing well kay.
glad that your coat fit!...
It is back to the 90's today. supposed to be cooler this weekend.
have a good day.
Be careful with the carpet cleaner!
bizi

Kay
I'm guessing they went back to office and told them what they think.
And the office is the reason they are coming. And will probably do
whole building walk through.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

Kay,

Good news about the coat and your weight loss plan.

I hope that the bug thing gets worked out satisfactorily and soon.


M

I haven't seen any bugs for the last 2 mornings despite the bait the pest control guys put out. I didn't see any for a several weeks after their last visit though. If they decide to do a walk through, management will send a notice to all residents soon.

I cleaned the carpet in my living room yesterday. It was brutal. It looks better, but I didn't get the results I would have liked. Part of that is because the machine is a cheap P.O.S.

I measured my mood. This wasn't a manic thing, it was an "I'm sick and tired of this" thing. I did it because I was tired of waiting for my husband to do it. I should not be steam cleaning carpets, but I'm tired of vacuuming the rug and having it still look so ****ing filthy.

There are a lot of things that I would like my husband to do, that I've been waiting for him to do, that he should do…
I just got rid of all that **** that was hanging around in the kitchen because I took the incentive, but now he's decided to throw out a tower fan, so that will probably sit in there for a couple of weeks until he takes it to the dumpster.

My weight this morning was 154.4lb, so I decided to try on the size 10 jeans. They fit like a glove :) I'm glad that I didn't try them on any earlier though because I would have been discouraged had they not fit.

I have to go food shopping today. God, I hate it.
Last week I think I went too far to accommodate my husband and ended up making 2 separate meals too often during the week. Right now, my list is a mess because I need to come up with a meal plan that makes sense. It will take me a while.

congratulations on the size 10!!!!!!!:Dancing-Chilli::Dancing-Chilli::Dancing-Chilli:

Congrats on size 10.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

are you going to be all right Mari
 

I am worried

My husband says the carpet looks a lot better. I think I'm just expecting too much after all the energy I put into it. I'm still very sore.

He took the fan out to the dumpster this morning without being asked!!! I will definitely be thanking him when he gets home from work.

I had to start a new shopping list with just the non-meal related items because my old list was a mess. I made an entirely new meal plan where I'll only be making separate meals on two nights, and when I do, it will be easy on me. My husband will be home an extra day because of the holiday, so I bought a few extra things to account for that.
For once I picked a good day and time to shop. The store wasn't a zoo, and I had no problem aside from a woman on a cellphone who wasn't paying attention almost rammed me with her basket. I had such good luck, when I got home my husband was there to help me with the bags :)

I see my pdoc today. The lithium has definitely helped, but there is still room for improvement. I'd like her to increase the lithium a little. I think she probably will. Hopefully help in the depression department will also translate to help in the anxiety department.

Glad that your hubby helped you....
I hope that you have a restful and relaxing weekend.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

My view from the desk was obstructed, and unfortunately my husband never took the fan out. It's still in the corner in the kitchen.

I complained about my legs hurting and acting up because all of the activity lately (shampooing carpet, grocery shopping, running a lot of errands and doing laundry yesterday), and my husband said it wasn't like I "had worked all day and driven 200 miles." He's saying things like this a lot lately. I don't work because I can't, and told him that. I told him I know he's suffering lately, and I do my best to help him, but in my experience I've learned that all I can do for him is listen. I have been there to do that for him, but he forgets that I have problems too, even though they are different, and I don't burden him with them. I try like hell not to ask him for help.

I felt like the conversation was unfinished… like I had a million more things to say, but I didn't want to get into a fight. His view of reality is so slanted, that it's almost pointless to bother anyway.


I saw my pdoc yesterday and she increased my lithium from 300mg once a day to twice a day. My level was very low when it was drawn last time, so I'm not worried about toxicity. I have some worries about acne, but I'm mainly concerned that the increase will effect my vision. She talked about possibly increasing it to 900mg if I need it. It's only half of my old dose, but I don't know if I would go that high because of the increased risk of s/e.

We talked about my anxiety, and I told her I was still using higher doses of the klonopin, which is okay with her since I need it. I told her that my husband's anxiety and temper were an issue. She asked me where the relationship was headed (a nice, non-confrontational way of asking if I would leave him), and I told her things were staying as is.

I'll have to cook, but otherwise, I am doing nothing today.

You will have to keep an eye out for your acne......
You have been working hard, over extending yourself. please rest this weekend.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Kay,

Sounds like a good pdoc visit. I hope that the increased Lithium helps.


M

My husband has been in a very good mood all weekend. It's a very nice change :):):)

We got to see Tom Brady return to the field for yesterday's Pat's game. He was unbelievable! It's like he didn't a beat… he's fun to watch :)

We also watched the debates. My husband has today off, so he was able to stay up and watch the whole thing.

I had to lay down at the 2 minute warning of the game (the game was already in the bag anyway) because I was out of it, and had a very hard time waking up. I'm out of it this morning and feel dizzy, too. I think I may have a sinus infection because I've had allergy symptoms, but my electrolytes could be off because of bowel meds and the lithium though. My pulse is only about 80. I'd like to take my temp, but my thermometer died and I don't want to shell out the money for a new one… I will buy one if I continue to feel shitty though.

I missed the game but I read about Brady's performance in the news.


Good to hear that the weekend went well.

I hope the pulse is o.k.


M

A pulse of 80 is good. Taken alone, it doesn't suggest fever or dehydration.

A BP would be nice (low BP would be an indicator of dehydration), but I don't have batteries for my monitor, and as I already mentioned I can't take my temp because my thermometer **** the bed.