how is your tummy?

not great.
love
bobby
I am feeling much better except for the constipation. I am not depressed. I wonder if Suri is helping me.It seems like such a long time now. I hope I don't lapse back!

the xlax may have worked.
love
bobby
I still can't listen to music

If I have diarrhea then I don't take a dose that night.
Have you tried CBD oils? It is supposed to be good for anxiety and sleep.
It is expensive but if it works then I think it is worth it.


(((((((HUGS)))))))
love

bizi

I haven't looked into it. I will.
love
bobby

I just got out of bed. the depression is still bad. I am going to try to read. my stomach hurts. I am making tea.

I hope you feel better soon.
(((((HUGS))))))
love bizi

thanks. I am just making a special tea for my stomach.
love
bobby

I was up most of the night with stomach cramps. I don't know if it was the ex-lax.I had magnesium citrate this morning and feelso much better. My antidepressant worked. I have been taking benedryl because I think I am getting allergic to my kitty cats. I read that it is constipating so I will stop taking them, My doctor to drink a lot of water. That also helps with constipation. I ordered some other laxatives and see if they will work.. Last night I was in agony.

I have been taking the exlax about 3-4 times per week.
sorry that your tummy is acting up.
((((((HUGS))))))))
love bizi

I am getting paranoid. I have been trying to go to bed at 6:30 because of my stomach problems. I thought robert was angry at me. This morning I found an email from him that he understood my grief and he would see me this weekend. I don't know what I would do without Robert! I spend an hour or more worrying about it and should have just checked my email again.
I bought dried fruit and prunes. They really helped. I bought benefiber and started taking it today. I also cleared up a billig mistake at the pharmacy-their mistake.
Yesterday I just had the dried fruit and and a bowl of noodle soup. Being bipolar and dealing with deep grief is too much. I would see the pdoc next month but it would cost me about 155 dollars. His presence comforts me.
love
bobby

I'm sorry that you are grieving, Bobby.

I am sorry you are getting paranoid.
((((((HUGS))))))
love bizi

I am really having trouble with constipation. I don't know what to do. Yesterday the dried fruit gave me so much gas. I am not even sure if the magnesium citrate is working.I really had negative thoughts this morning. I wonder if losing those 9 pounds quickly really threw off my stomach. the ex-lax isn't working.
Love
bobby

I am going to try coconut water and aloe vera

bobby is it the 25mg of senniodes or something like that.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

It doesn't seem to work. the magnesium citrate worked. I started drinking a lot of water and tea.
love
bobby

the mag citrate pill or liquid?
love bizi

liquid. I am also taking stool softeners.
love
bobby
I am still grieving and am afraid to listen to music.I am having a hard time reading.

there is no time limit to grieving. I am sorry.
I wish for you some peace today maybe read some of your religious material?
love
bizi:hug:

right now I am having trouble reading.
Love
bobby

I am sorry you are having a hard time reading.
Do you know why?
Is it a concentration thing? a bipolar thing?


love you
bizi

I think it is a grieving thing. I was always able to read a lot even though my eye sight isn't that great. I am not used to reading reading glasses.
Love
bobby

(((((((HUGS)))))))
love bizi

I had my hair cut this morning and I had the doorman fill out a form for the building. I am never good with forms and after the stroke I am a lot worse..I gave him 10 dollars which he refused and then I insisted. He is so very nice. The building is going to change the value on my radiator today. They have to first turn off the boil.
Love
bobby

I finally listened to music. I can't stop thinking of Suri. I am so glad she isn't suffering anymore. She is so vivid in my mind.

It's hard to lose someone so much a part of your life.







M

I might have just lost another friend. She cut me yesterday when I tried to talk about my tennis. I was really good.. I wrote her an email about tennis and why I don't enjoy that much.
Robert came over last night but I had a stomach ache. He was so sweet. He asked if he could get me anything. I told him I was ordering things from amazon. I haven't tried the coconut water yet but started taking the aloe vera pills.
I haven't heard from her SWet. I don't know if I will. She does most of the talking and repeats herself a lot She really has no idea what is like to be a single woman and have to put up with awful bosses and a lot have fears that they are going to be homeless. She just sees how many problems it is to have spoiled children who make demands on her even though they are in their early and late fifties.

Last night she sent me a very funny joke, she made no comment about the tennis.

Yesterday my friend Joyce came over and I hadn't seen her in 4 years,=. It was so wonderful! Her husband died recently and you wouldn't know it. She said they ate out every night.They must have been wonderful companions. Last time I saw her I thought she was in her early sixties. She looks a bit older but I freaked when she told me she was 80! She told me to give Alice her name and number and when I die she will take my kitty cats. She has so much energy that I think she will live a lot longer. She adored my cats and kept on saying how beautiful pudgie was. Abby was so very friendly. She brought her toys and won her over.She has ten cats and a gorgeous wire hair terrier who has a baby face. . she is a year and a half old.. She calls her the beast because she keeps on going after the cats and takes chunks out of furniture.The trainer said that she was too hard to train. Joyce has had five other wire hair terriers but never like this one. She said her blood lines are very strong because she comes from champions that really brings out her terrier traits.. All her cats are unusually with cute names. I got practically all of my cats my cats from Joyce. We talked about my beloved snowball who had such a deep soul.He had the worse case of feline herpes and had two prolapsed colons. After the first one I would call her and cry hysterically because he would not eat. She kept talking tough and saying that I had to keep trying harder to get food into him so he would live.She even paid 1200 dollars for the operation. Later I gave her a gorgeous 18k gold bracelet and told she had to wear it all the time for snowy. She did!
She was here for over two hours and is going to come back next week to take off Pudgie's mats. I gave her a lot chewies for Piper which she called to say she loved.
she gave me two cat books. I am going to buy more chewies for piper because I can get them cheap at Amazon
We also talked about politics and possible food I can eat. My stomach bothers me so much. She also kept on saying I had to exercise.

I started taking phillips caplets again. For two days they have worked. I am going to order a lot more and keep using them. I read something very positive about magnesium.
Muscle Relaxation: Magnesium relaxes the muscles in the intestines, which can help to establish a smoother flow as the stool passes through the bowels. Stool Softener: Magnesium draws water into the intestines, working as an osmotic laxative. This increase in water stimulates bowel motility.

I just bought a new ooma for 92 dollars including shipping and tax. The sale ends this month. I have my old one for 5 years and have saved so much money. I pay a little more than five dollars a month-that is it.for my phone bill. I highly recommend it.

I have watched the impeachment too much. I am still so lonely after the loss of Suri but keep on reminding myself that she is not suffering.
I finally listened to Josh Groban all night. I got on the scale finally and gained 3 pounds. I read a scary story about instant ramen noodles and through them all out.
I have to change my life. Last night I dreamt I was sleeping with my sister.
I think I am going to force myself to use my bike twice a day and to straighten up more.. Hopefully I will build up my endurance and then take little walks outside instead of being isolated in my apartment.
I am going to have a friendly visitor come once a month. He likes me and asked dorot if he could do it He is very bright and nice and unusual.. I hope it works out.
The antidepressant is working now. I woke up so very depressed. I have to help myself.
Love
bobby

It sounds like you are trying so that is good!
Have faith that things will get better for you.
Glad that you will have a visitor!
Will you watch the super bowl tomorrow?
lots of love bizi

I will watch a bit of it. Brady isn't in it rats!
I will ride my bike now for second time.
Love
bobby

the friendly visitor came.it was great.he said he will come once a month on Saturdays.
Then Robert asked me about the new ooma and why I got it.He made me so very paranoid. It was so awful and scary.I got into bed at seven. I couldn't take those feelings. I will see how it goes. I might need medication for it. My stomach hurts so much.
love
bobby

I just asked the porter if he could set up phone in case I AM robert's sh#t list.
I am so anxious.

I am sorry don't understand???
what is an ooma?
why the upset feelings?
love you

bizi

Robert will settle himself I hope.


Do you like the ooma?




M

I am really grieving over Suri. I have gotten so negative and paranoid and lonely. and my IBS is really acting up. .We used to talk a lot about God. It was beautiful.Towards the end we mostly talked about her cancer.
Ooma is a telephone device which I just bought on sale for 92 dollars and only have to pay a little more than five dollars a month. I have used it for five years but with my negativity thought I should get a new one.
Love
Bobby

my depression is getting worse. I am going to try to find a book that will distract me.