Hi,

Tomorrow you might feel differently about her.
When I first met my current therapist she seemed a little bossy -ish. And I can't stand bossy.

By the second visit I decided that she was great.

Talk to her the way you did to us in the Vent and see how she responds.

Mari

Well, it went better today. I told her exactly how I was feeling. I told her about the total lack of communication between all parties involved and how I was feeling railroaded into doing this. Without giving you all of the details, when I told her this she understood that too. So, I am going to at least join the group (small, three including me) on Thursday. Then we'll see how it goes. I also stopped taking the Trazodone last night because I was too hung over for until about noon. I had to take a klonapin twice last night because I woke up at 4 oclock. But at least I feel like I have all my wits about me today and that is a good thing.

~Hope

good for you for telling her exactly how you felt...it is good to speak your mind.
glad that you are sticking with this.
klonipin can stay in your system 8 hours so becareful with that.
.5mg is a strong dose...don't know what dose you are taking.
keep posting
bizi

I hate it! I honestly don't know how this is supposed to help me. I feel like I'm in kindergarden. These are your emotions... what do we do with this emotion... how do we tolerate this emotion... and I didn't participate in the class of TWO! I felt like I wanted to cry because this isn't what I need... I think. I don't need to go into emotion work. I don't need a safety kit. I've been there... done that for years. How is this going to help me get a freaking job? .... Can you tell I am a little upset? Good. 'Cause I KNOW MY EMOTIONS.

Talked to T-doc about it yesterday and I think he agreed with me that this may not be what I need. If the therapist is just following the BOOK and not able to think outside of the box for my situation it may not help. So he recommended that I try it today and to go with my gut feeling on it and my gut is screaming NO! But the problem is I am still scared and feeling hopeless and disppointed. It seems like everybody is turning away from me.

~Hopeless

I hate myself because I am such a wimp...

I guess I don't have all my wits about me today.

Thanks for letting me have a hissy fit without being judged

Hi, Hope,

You have a great tdoc. He is probably right. Any therapy needs to be tailored to the individual.

It's ok if you don't like DBT at first. I think you should give yourself a lot of credit for giving it a try and taking it this far.

What happens if you decide it is not for you and leave?
Does it effect your treatment?

Mari

dear hope,
What are they suggesting you do with your emotions?
journal...verbalize them...stuff them...
heck half the time if you are able to idn=entify what emotion you are actually feeling that is half the battle.
Are they working on you trying to learn what triggers you?
or are you working on self esteem stuff?
keep posting venting we are here.....
any kind of therapy is hard work...
I remember when I first went I kept talking and talking week after week and not getting any real feed back...I got so frustrated that I went screaming out of the room...."when is it going to be better?"
in time she said....
and she was right...it took me along time...but you can do this.
You are doing this and your work is hard and will be worth it....
be patient with yourself....
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

My t-doc is great. I've seen him for 8 years! That either tells you how bad he is or how bad I am. This really wasn't his idea, it was brought up by someone else that DBT might be good for ADD and PTSD issues and for giving me structure in my life. I have no respect for this counselor. I don't need to go through this crap again. I don't need a safety plan or a crisis plan. Like I said it makes me feel worse. Yes, I've avoided my way into insignificance and that hurts. They say it's about tolerating emotional distress. I suppose you could argue for it since I am distressed. But I know what my triggers are and this class is triggering me. I've fought for years to come out of emotional numbness. I can name emotions now. I don't want to protect myself from them. If I don't have respect for the therapist, the therapy ain't going to work. I fired a vocational counselor with the state because we didn't have a good relationship. They questioned me on that and said that in the real world you can't pick your boss. I said, yes I know that but I also know that in therapy if you don't have a good relationship there, it's not going to work. I think I already said that, sorry.

I'm also upset because I'm taking some classes because I had this idea that I wanted to get into graphic design. Well, I am starting to think that I suck at it. I'm not too swift with photoshop and as far as inspiration to design anything, I have ZERO. So, there goes that plan out the window. It seems like people, even t-doc are pulling away from me, like they are waiting for me to get my act together and do something. I KNOW it's up to me, I KNOW my life is my responsibility, but I suck at it and it scares the crap out of me. And I am so tired of doing it alone. I try the very best that I can. Making decisions and being assertive is not one of my strong suits. I'm so tired and I'm so emotional now. I'm so afraid.

I SUCK AT LIFE!!!

Dear Hope,
I can remember coming completely undone and upset by bad therapists.
Most of the time, I knew that the problem was the therapist and not me. But I still got upset.

Are you doing this DBT in a group setting? Is the group part of what is throwing you off? -- I hate groups by the way.

At any rate, you don't have to do this.
And even if you do this, you don't have to do it now. You can do it some other time in the distant future if you are ready to try it again.
Or you can buy a few workbooks on DBT and work through some exercises yourself.

DBT happens to be popular among the therapy people right now. That does not mean that it is a miracle.
And it does not mean that it works for everyone.

Take it easy on yourself.
You are the same person you were a few weeks ago. Don't let the bad experience of DBT throw you off.

Take care of yourself. You will be all right.

M.

Dear HOpe,
I am sorry that you are this upset.
The lasts thing you said was that you are so afraid.
Please tell me why you are afraid.
((((HUGS))))
bizi