Mari That False burden is out of there. Sorry that you had to pay dollars,and cents for it. Let the maintenance dept. take care of the rest. You have done enough. Drop the burden... cast it off you. You heart is intact. BF

Dear Vowel Lady,
Which book are you reading?
Which ever book it is, I'm glad that it is helpful.
Mari

The usual thing to do at my work when someone leaves it to take the stuff you want and throw out the rest. But he didn't exactly retire or move. He stopped coming in because he ended up in the ER.


I shared an office with this person for 10 years. We were sort of friends. In the end he was leaning on me alot more than I wanted him to so I was setting boundarie by telling him to call his tdoc/ pdoc. I told him that I was not the one to help him.

Then he took short term disabiility from work.
He came back and lasted about 2 months.
I couldn't toss all of his stuff out in the garbage in one full swoop out of respect. Also, I wanted to have a certain amount of class/ sense of decorum in front of my other colleagues.


Here is what I tossed out in the hallway/trash since december 07

-all teaching materials (contents of 2.5 filing cabinets, bookcase, desk . . .)
-lots of books
-about 10 years worth of unused teaching supplies (enough through 2018 - - some of these I put back in the supply cabinet, but some I admit to tossing in the hallway
-all bureaucratic and administrative junk
-framed pictures and prints,
-photos
-a mirror
-a lamp
-very large clear glass vase
-pillows for his back
-coffee maker
-supplies and materials for tea
-massive amounts of cleaning supplies
-clock radio
-faded posters
-tchotchkes
-huge macrame wall hanging
-a crappy half piece of a desk that barely sat on a half book case
-an ugly file cabinet
-lots of plastic and metal desk and file organizers


Things I took to UPS for them to pack and mail last week:

-books of US poetry and some Italian language learning books that were unrelated to his teaching and seemed personal
-lots of odds and ends from the desk like pocket= sized old phone books
-a stuffed animal an administrator gave him at a big meeting when he (the roommate) returned from 1.5 years of disability
-a sweater
-a coffee mug that seemed to have a personal meaning
-a framed (w/glass) painting of a show poster a friend had painted when he played the lead in a show many years ago)

In truth, none of this was important. I put in a box and shipped because I didn't want him to ask about the other stuff.


Things I kept in the office mostly because they are too heavy to pay to mail to him:
-2 huge dictionaries (on their sides, each dictionary has about 12 inches of pages (I can use a good fat dictionary anyway, but one is enough)
-plaques and awards
-5 inch binder of materials he had put together for promotion a few years ago.
-one folder of stuff that I can use for a committee I am on
-a rented graduation gown that had not been returned and that someone else can use
-a stapler and about five other smaller things that I put in a drawer because I was getting tired
- 2 small and outdated altases that didn't fit in the box -- I can use these perhaps
-one box of materials related to teaching that another teacher had specifically asked me about


Neither he nor the boyfriend asked for any of this stuff -- except that the painting was mentioned last Christmas. He sustained brain damage and might not remember much.


I re-injured my back yesterday when the cleaning lady helped me sort through some of my boxes. I could barely move by the end of the day. But sleeping last night seemed to help.
I've got emotional stuff happening.
I'm not sure what to do.
Maybe I should go to the gym and sauna and work up a sweat.

Mari

I have crystals and plants all over the office.
And I burn sage when I stay late.

We are about to lose power here with the thunder and lightening. I have to get off computer.

Oh I am so sorry you're in pain Mari, I wish you felt better, I am glad you mentioned having crystals and burning sage, I feel better for you now knowing what kind of good vibes you are and have been surrounding yourself with! Awesome! How does the office feel now that most of the stuff is gone?

I think going to the sauna would be a definate plus.

Sending good vibes.

Donna

You have been dealing with alot of emotional stuff...your back is telling you to rest...you ae doing too much.
I too am glad that you are getting rid of his stuff from your office, some would say this is having to deal with closure.
I worry about you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

On Thursday I called the secretary at work.
She said that the painters had just completed painting my office.
That's good.
I asked about cleaning and waxing the floor. She said that she didn't know and would be on vacation for the next 2 weeks.

Maybe next week I will drive in to see if they did the floors.
I want to start moving furniture back in and put my stuff away.

Mari

My parents have stopped talking on the phone about my ever coming to see them again. They know that I won't.
So last year they came for Labor Day and this year they will be here for Labor Day weekend again.
I am trying not to stress.
They will stay in a hotel and borrow my car.

M.

It just shows how fast time speeds...it almost seems like yesterday you were worried about their last visit. I hope it goes as well as the last one. Is your father going to bring you reading material to go over? I wonder if your mother will wear the skirt you bought you. How long will they be staying? I wish you the best of luck. They sound unpredictable.
Bobby